White thug: Yeah, so she's knocked up.
White thug #2: Look on the bright side, nigga, at least the Giants won.
White thug #3: Damn, yo, NYU isn't even a real college.
–Mercer & Waverly Place
White thug: Yeah, so she's knocked up.
White thug #2: Look on the bright side, nigga, at least the Giants won.
White thug #3: Damn, yo, NYU isn't even a real college.
–Mercer & Waverly Place
Exchange student: I was just telling him how to use a Post-it.
–Columbia
20-ish male: Actually, global warming is only going to benefit New York City.
–Columbia
Overheard by: martina m.
Chick: I am not eating somewhere with a misplaced apostrophe in its menu.
–Columbia
Overheard by: Ladle
Young Columbia student: Yeah, so all of a sudden I was walking home drunk, in a diaper, with a huge scar.
–1 train
Columbia grad student: … And if you ask him he’ll say, ‘I’m making money for the school! I’m making money for the school! I do drugs! I do drugs!’
–1 train
Student to another: As for the article, I don’t care about the truth of my argument. I care about people knowing how big my penis is.
–Columbia
Conductor: This is 116th Street, Columbia University. Good luck paying your tuition.
–116th St
Overheard by: Sam
Student #1, commenting on hole in graph: Is it a black hole?
Student #2, sarcastically: No, a red hole.
Teacher, writing on brown blackboard: It's a brown hole.
(class bursts into laughter)
–Math Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Student, explaining a baby carrier he made: In order to make sure it would hold the weight of a baby, I tested it with an Absolut vodka bottle.
Professor: You should have brought that in too. I think I have tonic in my bag.
–Parsons School of Design
Overheard by: dontyouloveartschool
Woman: If I don’t find a guy I want to date within the next year, then I’m going back to school.
–B3 Restaurant, Avenue B
Overheard by: Laura Walker
NYU girl #1: I have so much work due in this next week that it’s not even funny. I kind of want to kill myself.
NYU girl #2, glancing around: Don’t say things like that. People actually take you seriously around here.
–Starbucks, Washington Sq Park
Overheard by: prospective nyu student … or not
Wholesome-looking man, walking with several families with kids and carrying a cross: Jesus Christ died for our sins today so that we can all give blowjobs whenever we want!
–Union Square
Girl with food: Do you think I'll get on the JumboTron if I deep throat this pickle?
–MSG: Rangers – Caps Playoff Game
40-something, during high school reunion: How dare you tell my husband I gave you a blowjob? I was a virgin in high school!
–Outside Jake's Dillemma
Women on cell: I told him, if he didn't start shampooing his pubes I would stop blowing him!
–14th St & 9th Ave
Middle-aged Romanian: I heard he gives better BJs than Santa Claus!
–Astoria
Overheard by: Crazy Romanians
English teacher: We need nine groups. How many people are in there in this class? 26. So that’s nine groups with… Nine times three is 36. Times two is 18. Eight times four is 32. Times three is 24. So eight groups of three with one group of two. Count off. Okay, ones over there, twos over there, threes over there, fours over there, fives… Oh. Guys, why didn’t you catch this? I’m an English teacher for a reason!
Student #1: Why don’t you just group them in threes, like first set of three there…
Teacher: No, I wanted to mix you guys up. Alright, starting over, one to eight.
Student #1: One.
Student #2: Two.
Student #3: Three.
Student #4: One.
–Goldstein High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Russian lady: She loves to travel. Like some people alcoholics? She
loves to travel.
–Funayama, Greenwich Avenue
Guy on cell: Hey Maria? It’s John…from Biology…Oh, you can’t talk? OK. I love you. Bye.
–Washington Square Park
Euro chick: No silly, American football is like a girly version of rugby, they have rules and pads.
–66th & Lexington
Man: Look at all these little bananas! I don’t want none a these. These little bananas are for ladies.
–28th & Park fruit stand
Woman: You think that the players look at their butts in the mirror to see what we see?
–Yankee Stadium bleachers
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
Girl #1: Oh my god! I can't believe my mom only got a B+ on my history paper.
Girl #2: Well, I can't believe your mom does your schoolwork and writes your papers for you. Don't you ever feel guilty?
Girl #1: Umm…no. Since she's, like, paying for my college and stuff, then it's only fair that she gets to do the work.
–SoHo
