Nerdy guy to nerdy girl, walking out of lab room: I'm a miracle of thermodynamics! I'm both extremely hot and extremely cool at the same time!
–Bard High School Early College
Overheard by: amused on the third floor
Nerdy guy to nerdy girl, walking out of lab room: I'm a miracle of thermodynamics! I'm both extremely hot and extremely cool at the same time!
–Bard High School Early College
Overheard by: amused on the third floor
Tween girl #1: That Britney Spears perfume smells like slut.
Tween girl #2: I know! It smells like my mom!
–Canal St
Overheard by: ouch
Girl #1: So, how's Christie? She hasn't been coming to class.
Girl #2: Not so good. She tried to commit suicide again.
Girl #1: Ugh! What did she do this time?!
Girl #2: She swallowed half a bottle of pills. She started throwing up and hallucinating, but fortunately her mom found her and took her to the hospital.
Girl #1: Sometimes I think she likes to exaggerate things for effect. I mean, if you were hallucinating, then how would you know that you were hallucinating? And how do you swallow that many pills anyway? I can barely take one.
Girl #2: Well, her mom said she…
Girl #1, interrupting: So what is she going to do now?
Girl #2: Her parents think it is best if she stays in a mental institution for a while.
Girl #2: Wow! I could never do that! Live in the crazy-house, I mean. If I was surrounded by that many crazy people then I might start to think I was crazy too!
–6 Train
Psychology professor: So with the gustatory system the motor action is basically spit or swallow. That reminds me of… never mind.
–NYU
Professor: As rigid as it may sound, I would really prefer that you provide me with the literal translation of the Latin on all quizzes and exams, rather than rearranging the grammar to make it sound less awkward in English, so as to preserve the integrity of the Latin prose. Yeah, that's how I roll.
–Lincoln Center, Fordham University
Overheard by: Classics Student
Social psychology professor: The field of psychology doesn't run on… Dunkin'.
–New School University
English professor to class of freshwomen: When you get drunk, does your judgment suffer? (silent awkward pause) Well, you girls might be a little young for it, but I know my judgment suffers!
–Barnard College
Overheard by: High Aspirations
English professor: I know it sounds like an asshole thing to say, but that's what I'm here for guys. I'm here to be your asshole.
–English Seminar, Fordham
Social studies teacher: Sometimes this class just makes me want a cigarette and a stiff drink. To bad I don't smoke anymore. Well, cigarettes, at least.
–Hunter College High School
Girl to friend: What I really want right now is a whippit and two cigarettes.
–NYU Dorm
Subway girl: You know, he smokes a lot for being crippled.
–N Train
High school boy: You know Danny? He's been smoking since he was in second grade.
–Cold Stone Creamery
Overheard by: Kristina
Old lady to store owner: I just got out of the hospital. Can I have a lighter? A BIC one.
–Amsterdam & 88th St
Overheard by: Beez and Newb
Guy in car to cop: Can you help me out with directions?
Cop: Yeah, sure. Where are you going?
Guy in car: Staten Island.
Cop: Yeah, you smell like you're going to Staten Island.
–Shea Stadium Parking Lot
Overheard by: BigVinnyVito
Conductor #1, singing: I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.
(train stops and doors don't open)
Conductor #2: Doors! The doors!
(doors open and then don't close)
Conductor #2: Doors!
(doors close and train starts moving)
Conductor #1, singing with backup music: I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.
–F Train
Girl: No way! How do you know?
Guy: Because my roommate heard them having sex! Apparently, he screams like a girl.
–Union Square
Overheard by: MASHI
Girl, pushing stroller: Jesus, it's so cold out! My nipples are like icicles.
Friend: My nipples are always icy.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: LeAnne
Out-of-town girl, smelling her hands: Gahh! My hands fucking stink!
Guy friend: I call those my New York gloves. Better get used to it.
–G Train
Overheard by: chris k.
