Woman: That’s the way New York is; it’s a contact sport.
–Penn Station
Woman: That’s the way New York is; it’s a contact sport.
–Penn Station
Guy #1: Yeah, I was at the national unicycling convention.
Guy #2: It's sad that you couldn't put your skills to use… You could be a stuntman, or a sex slave. But no! You said, “Daddy, I want a unicycle!”
–F Train
Student: Yeah, someone who plays the cello is a cellist, someone who makes art is an artist, and someone who writes poetry is a poist.
–Hunter College High School
Heavily accented Asian cashier to heavily accented Asian coworker: What!? Speaka English, por favor.
–J2 Deli, W 18th St
Overheard by: nick m
Bimbo looking at scoreboard: I think the "e" stands for "exqualifications" You know, for when a player is "exqualified".
–Yankees Stadium
Lady: I know what I am, he ain't gonna labelize me.
–Washington Square Park
Real estate agent: And all the doormen and service staff are Easter European.
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: Looking for an apartment
Ghetto college girl: I'll talk to you later, I gots to get my learn on, girl.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Corey
College guy, running away: I wasn't cheating! That's how you play hide-and-seek!
Girl, running after him with baseball bat: You can't hide home base!
–North Woods, Central Park
Wheelchair guy: Hey, let me see that football.
Dude: No, sorry.
Wheelchair guy: What, are you afraid I’m going to run away with it?
–125th & Lexington
Overheard by: brian corcoran
Young man #1: Do you want to play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: Do you play ping pong?
Young man #2: No.
Young man #1: REALLY?????? You don’t play ping pong?????
–N. 11th St, Williamsburg
Conductor, on loudspeaker: Who won?
Yankee Fan: Twins!
Conductor, on loudspeaker: Shit.
–Manhattan bound D train
Overheard by: Julie
Drunk NYU dude: You guys know that loose skin around your shaft or whatever? Push it over the tip of your dick. It feels like you have three balls. Three balls! Fucking sweet!
–NYU
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
Dude: I swear to god dude, I can feel my balls moving from side to side today!
–5th Ave
Hipster girl: Balls have no place in my mouth. Gum, chicken, or any other kind.
–F Train
Overheard by: Teabag
Loud fat black chick : I wanna kiss the balls of the person who made these cookies.
–Broadway
Overheard by: sounds yummy
Meathead on cell: I got some good shit for you for the gym. Shoot this shit in your ass three times a week and you'll look like The Incredible Hulk in no time… I can't believe you're doing all this stuff to impress your wife. We'll see how impressed she is when you don't have any balls anymore because you're on steroids. Who knows, maybe she'll start fucking me instead.
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: vicky
Guy on phone: I know classical music well enough to know that Vivaldi had no balls.
–42nd St & 10th Ave
B&T guy: Did you get home okay in the snow last night?
B&T girl: Yeah, but drinking and driving should be an Olympic sport!
B&T guy: That’s why you should’ve just smoked.
–Manahatta, Bowery
Overheard by: Andrew Gamache
Guy with squash equipment #1: Let's squash.
Guy with squash equipment #2: We squashed her all night and we squished her all day.
Guy with squash equipment #1: That's disgusting.
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Nava
