Wednesday One-Liners Want to Believe

Five-year-old girl in funny voice: I don't wear eyeshadow. I am an alien. I am allowed to be weird.

–Downtown 6 Train, Union Square

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Brunette: So, wait. Are they scientists or large-headed aliens?

–Harlem

Overheard by: Ladle

Hobo: You may not know this, but I am from another planet. I am also recruiting souls for my army in the underworld. We are four hundred thousand billion strong. Everybody better watch out!

–1 Train

Geeky guy to another: Have you seen the planet he's from? Goddamn!

–N Train

Girl to friend (animated, with hand gestures): I mean, you could actually *see* E.T.'s birth…

–5th Ave & 14th St

Guy, very sure of himself: I would much rather hunt aliens than ghosts, at least that makes sense.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: jessi pfeufer

Posted on April 11, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Kids, Makeup, On the Subway, Questions, Science, Starbucks, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

No Thanks, I’m Full

Queer #1: What should we do tonight? Something fun.
Queer #2: We could pierce something?

–Starbucks, Lower East Side

Overheard by: nicolina

Posted on April 10, 2015
Kink, Lower East Side, Queer guys, Questions, Starbucks, Time, Wishes & desires

Nobody Says Much About Bistro 404

Dude: Oh, man. You need Flash to check out this restaurant's website.
Chick: Does that mean it's really nice?

–Starbucks, W 53rd St

Posted on April 2, 2015
Beauty, Girls, Guys, Internet, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Starbucks, Stupidity

If You Have to Ask…

Guy: I just geeked out my profile by a million percent. What do you think?
Girl: Hold up, let me check…
Guy: So what do you think?
Girl: Yeah, that Evangelion child shit is weird.
Guy: Like how weird?

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: Zah

Posted on March 31, 2015
Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Internet, Starbucks

Wednesday One-Liners Burn, Baby, Burn

Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: J. Ann

Ghetto girl to thug: You can’t touch this. Keep reminiscin’, mothafucka.

–106th & Columbus

Overheard by: Shmoop

Guy on cell: I’ll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you.

–17th & 5th

Altruist: He’s really nice so I just fake it sometimes.

–Elevator, 120 Wall St

Overheard by: Aubrie

Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8.

–1 train

Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be.

–Washington & Charles

Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I’m just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok.

–Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Posted on March 30, 2015
Beauty, Friendship, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Marriage, Movies, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, People, Pop Culture, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Starbucks, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

You Go Ahead and Feel Bad, Though

Father: They’re really promoting Paul McCartney at Starbucks.
Tween son: One of my friends said it sucks that John Lennon was shot instead of Paul McCartney. I felt bad when he said it.
Father: That’s a horrible thing to say… But your friend was right.

–Starbucks, 8th St

Posted on March 27, 2015
About Celebrities, Dads, Starbucks

Wednesday One-liners Know What You Like

Girl on cell: Yeah, baby, I’m all alone in my apartment on my bed. I’m taking my panties off now. Mmm, I’m touching myself, thinking of you. I’m all wet for you, baby.

–outside Starbucks, 54th & Broadway

Suit on cell: Yes, I’m wearing suspenders.

–Wall & Broadway

Overheard by: Alexis

Posted on March 22, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Fashion, Getting Off, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Starbucks, Suits, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

But He Praised My Ability to Outsource

Short NYU girl: It's not fair! Why do I always have to suck his dick? He's your boyfriend.
Tall NYU girl: Well, he said I was really bad at it.

–Starbucks

Posted on March 21, 2015
BJs, Compare/Contrast, Gripes, Penis, Promiscuity, Questions, Relationships, Sorority Girls, Starbucks

Just Rub the Big Toe

Girl #1: Your room always smells so good, like coconuts and coffee. It reminds me of the Caribbean. What kind of candles do you have?
Girl #2: That’s not from a candle. The coconut is from the foot cream I use so my feet don’t stink and the coffee smell is there because I spilled some on my carpet and never cleaned it up.
Girl #1: Oh…where can I get the foot cream, then?

–Starbucks, 17th & Broadway

Posted on March 20, 2015
Body Parts, Food, People, Starbucks, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners: Cha-ching!

Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money?

–47th & 5th

Overheard by: Adam Bertocci

Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money!

–M14 bus

Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change!

–14th between 5th & University

Overheard by: theNJl

Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money.

–Starbucks, 27th & Park

Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson

Posted on March 19, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Bus, Crime and Punishment, Fighting and ass kicking, Hobos, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nose Job, On Cell, On the Bus, People, Places, Psychology, Restaurants & Cafes, Rich people, Starbucks, Thievery, Threats, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues, Violence