20-something woman #1: What kind of a name is “Osmosis Jones,” anyway?
20-something woman #2: Osmosis is a real thing actually. It's an ingredient in vitamin water.
–Kingsbridge & Jerome, The Bronx
Overheard by: not a scientist…
20-something woman #1: What kind of a name is “Osmosis Jones,” anyway?
20-something woman #2: Osmosis is a real thing actually. It's an ingredient in vitamin water.
–Kingsbridge & Jerome, The Bronx
Overheard by: not a scientist…
Black guy: Yo, are you white?
Hispanic guy: Um… Are you black?
–Bronx
Guy at ATM to friend: The $60 fast cash button should just be labeled "8th of weed."
–Chase Bank, Astor Place
Probation officer to juvenile: You think you can't get arrested for marijuana? Are you out of your damn mind? You're taking a drug test right now, you out-of-your-damn-mind son!
–Bronx Family Court
Overheard by: Adog
Guy to girlfriend: The more stoned I get, the better you sound.
–72nd St & Broadway
Guy: So then I smoked a goodnight bowl at Chris's.
–E 10th St
Overheard by: What about a good morning bowl?
20-something to friend: I'll save the world second, but I'll get high first.
–Houston & Essex
Girl: Do you have any exciting plans for tonight?
Guy: No. Do you want to have a hot dog eating contest?
Girl: Not so much, since I’m a vegetarian.
Guy: I guess I win, then.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Andrea
Cop: Man, I'm computer illiterate… That's why the NYPD is perfect for me.
–Police Precinct, Bronx
Overheard by: afrocurl
Cop car to man in the street, after using sirens: How stupid are you? Move out of the way!
(crowd cheers)
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: onlycoolcop
Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrian: What are you doing!?
–Houston & Broadway
Woman with missing teeth, grabbing tourist and yelling: I'm not a cop! I'm a ho!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: Jo Ann Chism
Old White man: I have never seen a mother treat a child in such a way.
Latina mother: Dude. You don’t even want to fuck around with a crazy bitch from the Bronx.
–4/5 train
Overheard by: Taryn
Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
30-something Latina: I wish I could beat my daughter like it was allowed when I was growing up.
Friend, nodding knowingly: Uh-huh.
–Gun Hill & Rochambeau
Overheard by: Gutterlush
Woman in ad on TV: ‘Watch these wrinkles disappear–‘
Little boy nearby: –With Photoshop!
–Webster & Tremont, Bronx
Man to woman after hearing a man sing “Amazing Grace”: Maybe it was the all-retarded hour at church.
–Bronx
Overheard by: ClaRity
Headline by: bobofthejungle
Runners-Up:
· “Another Happy Sunday with Simon and Paula.” – again
· “But It Still Beats the All-Amputee Hour at the Strip Club.” – SNA
· “Flowers For AlgerNun” – Paul K.
· “From Midget Masses to Handicapped Hymns, Mega-Churches Pull Out All The Stops” – stacey
· “They’re Down with God” – Rostkowski
