Nerd: They should have an alphabet bar… You know, where they sell you alphabets.
Girl: Wow, are you the new freak on the gymnastics team?
–Bronx Science Gymnastics Team
Overheard by: LSb
Nerd: They should have an alphabet bar… You know, where they sell you alphabets.
Girl: Wow, are you the new freak on the gymnastics team?
–Bronx Science Gymnastics Team
Overheard by: LSb
Volunteer: So, what do you want to be for Halloween?
Seven-year-old-boy: I was thinkin I'd be a gangsta…or Peter Pan.
–Shelter, the Bronx
Slutty lesbian chick buying ice cream: So then she says “Scream! I'm going to keep spanking you until you scream!”
Slightly less slutty chick: So what did you do?
Slutty lesbian chick: Well, I wanted it to be hot, but when it came out it wasn't so much an “I'm getting spanked, and it's hot” scream as it was an “I'm shitty and it hurts” grunt.
–Grocery Store, The Bronx
Girl #1: I like can’t even wait for going out tomorrow night, it will be so fun!
Girl #2: I know, but like, we are always the ones who plan our nights out.
Girl #1: Yeah, I know! But we are like so good at it, we should be PR girls! Or party planners!
Girl #2: Yeah! We could do child party planning, and like, we could take them to the zoo!
Girl #1: Oh my god, yeah! But we would have to bring alcohol for us.
Girl #2: Well, what would the kids do then?
Girl #1: I dunno, they could like go off and do their own thing while we drink, right?
Girl #2: Totally.
–The Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: kevin
Preppy teenage boy on cell: I use the word "ex" as a coping mechanism. She can have her name back once I'm healed.
–Grand Central
Transvestite on cell: I'm changing my name from Angela to Rachel. Angela sounds very Disney. I don't feel like Disney. I feel like a hard sound, like Rachel.
–Pelham Bay Park
Black guy: Shit be fucked up. Niggas got bitches' names. Bitches got niggas' names.
–26th & 8th
Overheard by: Withnail
Yuppie to another: You know, man, I think you say my name more than your wife's.
–62nd & 2nd
Overheard by: The Vonz
Upper East Side girl, seriously: You know what the first thing I look for in a gentleman caller is? His name.
–89th St & 3rd Ave
Boy, reading a pamphlet: Umm… Penny-less… Pen-iss.
Girl: It says penis.
Boy: Well, whatever.
Girl: How are you not going to be able to spell something that you have?
Boy: Well, it’s gay to know how to spell penis.
–Marble Hill, the Bronx
Overheard by: Angelica Cayne
Guy #1: I’m serious about the slightly racist comments, they go a long way in jokes.
Guy #2: You can get away with it, she’s your girlfriend.
Guy #1: Yeah if she gets really angry I just draw a penis or something saying “Hello *Jenny!” and then everything’s okay.
–Eastchester & Morris Park
20-something woman #1: What kind of a name is “Osmosis Jones,” anyway?
20-something woman #2: Osmosis is a real thing actually. It's an ingredient in vitamin water.
–Kingsbridge & Jerome, The Bronx
Overheard by: not a scientist…
Black guy: Yo, are you white?
Hispanic guy: Um… Are you black?
–Bronx
Guy at ATM to friend: The $60 fast cash button should just be labeled "8th of weed."
–Chase Bank, Astor Place
Probation officer to juvenile: You think you can't get arrested for marijuana? Are you out of your damn mind? You're taking a drug test right now, you out-of-your-damn-mind son!
–Bronx Family Court
Overheard by: Adog
Guy to girlfriend: The more stoned I get, the better you sound.
–72nd St & Broadway
Guy: So then I smoked a goodnight bowl at Chris's.
–E 10th St
Overheard by: What about a good morning bowl?
20-something to friend: I'll save the world second, but I'll get high first.
–Houston & Essex
