Wednesday One-Liners Have the Rainbow Connection

Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege.

–W 13th St

Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes!

–10th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras?

Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on.

–4 Train

Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome.

–Christopher St

Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass.

–Times Square

11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister.

–Bronx Playground

Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys!

–Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on May 31, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Babies, Backdoor, Beauty, Black People, Boys, Brooklyn, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Dads, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Queer guys, Sexuality, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Thugs, Times Square, Trannies, Tweens, West Village, Wishes & desires

You Nailed It

Irish girl: So who were these boys she was caught trespassing with?
American girl: I don’t know, but my dad said one of them was named Jesus.
Irish girl: Oh Jesus, so she’s hanging out with Muslims now?

–Woodlawn, The Bronx

Posted on May 28, 2015
Girls, Jesus, Nicknames & name calling, The Bronx

…You Can Beat Me Later.

Little kid: Grandma, I want a dollar.
Ghetto grandma: Nigga, we had to work to get money, sometimes we would get beat.
Little kid: Can I get my dollar now?

–The Bronx

Overheard by: Julio Pena

Posted on May 24, 2015
Black People, Families, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Money & Class, Offers and requests, The Bronx, Violence

Psh, Like Anybody Normal Goes to Bronx Science

Nerd: They should have an alphabet bar… You know, where they sell you alphabets.
Girl: Wow, are you the new freak on the gymnastics team?

–Bronx Science Gymnastics Team

Overheard by: LSb

Posted on May 23, 2015
Bronx Science, Business and Commerce, Default, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Education, Girls, Insults, Offers and requests, Questions, School and studying, Students, Teens, The Bronx, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Regardless I'll Chill with My Lost Homeboys

Volunteer: So, what do you want to be for Halloween?
Seven-year-old-boy: I was thinkin I'd be a gangsta…or Peter Pan.

–Shelter, the Bronx

Posted on May 22, 2015
Celebrations/Parties, Kids, Men, Questions, The Bronx, Wishes & desires

I'm Barred From Her Dungeon for Life

Slutty lesbian chick buying ice cream: So then she says “Scream! I'm going to keep spanking you until you scream!”
Slightly less slutty chick: So what did you do?
Slutty lesbian chick: Well, I wanted it to be hot, but when it came out it wasn't so much an “I'm getting spanked, and it's hot” scream as it was an “I'm shitty and it hurts” grunt.

–Grocery Store, The Bronx

Posted on May 19, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Grocery Stores, Lesbians, S&M, The Bronx, Violence, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

The Best Zoo Party Ever Til’ Everything Went Totally Wrong

Girl #1: I like can’t even wait for going out tomorrow night, it will be so fun!
Girl #2: I know, but like, we are always the ones who plan our nights out.
Girl #1: Yeah, I know! But we are like so good at it, we should be PR girls! Or party planners!
Girl #2: Yeah! We could do child party planning, and like, we could take them to the zoo!
Girl #1: Oh my god, yeah! But we would have to bring alcohol for us.
Girl #2: Well, what would the kids do then?
Girl #1: I dunno, they could like go off and do their own thing while we drink, right?
Girl #2: Totally.

–The Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: kevin

Posted on May 9, 2015
Celebrations/Parties, Compliments, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Idiots, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Questions, The Bronx, Time

Wednesday One-Liners' Monogrammed Towels Say “W.O.L.”

Preppy teenage boy on cell: I use the word "ex" as a coping mechanism. She can have her name back once I'm healed.

–Grand Central

Transvestite on cell: I'm changing my name from Angela to Rachel. Angela sounds very Disney. I don't feel like Disney. I feel like a hard sound, like Rachel.

–Pelham Bay Park

Black guy: Shit be fucked up. Niggas got bitches' names. Bitches got niggas' names.

–26th & 8th

Overheard by: Withnail

Yuppie to another: You know, man, I think you say my name more than your wife's.

–62nd & 2nd

Overheard by: The Vonz

Upper East Side girl, seriously: You know what the first thing I look for in a gentleman caller is? His name.

–89th St & 3rd Ave

Posted on May 5, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Breaking Up, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Disney, Girls, Grand Central, Insults, Names, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Preppies, Questions, Teens, The Bronx, Train Station, Trannies, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Yuppies

Akeelah and the Bee-Jay

Boy, reading a pamphlet: Umm… Penny-less… Pen-iss.
Girl: It says penis.
Boy: Well, whatever.
Girl: How are you not going to be able to spell something that you have?
Boy: Well, it’s gay to know how to spell penis.

–Marble Hill, the Bronx

Overheard by: Angelica Cayne

Posted on April 26, 2015
Education, Kids, Penis, Should've Used a Condom, The Bronx

Why, He’s the Best Hostage Negotiator NYC Has to Offer

Guy #1: I’m serious about the slightly racist comments, they go a long way in jokes.
Guy #2: You can get away with it, she’s your girlfriend.
Guy #1: Yeah if she gets really angry I just draw a penis or something saying “Hello *Jenny!” and then everything’s okay.

–Eastchester & Morris Park

Posted on April 26, 2015
Apologies, Default, Penis, Race, Relationships, The Bronx, Visual Art