Thug #1: He got married!
Thug #2: He got married?
Thug #1: Yeah, man, he married that chick!
Thug #2: What chick?
Thug #1: Oh, lord, there were so many.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Arielle
Thug #1: He got married!
Thug #2: He got married?
Thug #1: Yeah, man, he married that chick!
Thug #2: What chick?
Thug #1: Oh, lord, there were so many.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Arielle
Teen boy #1: Nah, nigga, she can’t be Spanish. She too skinny.
Teen boy #2: She’s Spanish, yo.
Teen boy #1: I tell you, she ain’t from Spain. She’s from Europe. She has a Euro-sounding name.
Teen boy #2: Maybe she’s Mexican.
Teen boy #1: Yeah, she could be Mexican.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Heather
Thug #1: So what did she say?
Thus #2: I don't know man, she was all like, “I smell that shit, I smell it!” and I was like “bitch, please, I just fucked you!”
–14th St Subway Station
Overheard by: now i'm curious
Thug #1: Yo, we’re in a serious predicament!
Thug #2: Nigga, where did your foolish ass learn that shit?
Thus #1: Law & Order.
–Times Square
Overheard by: becca
Thug to friends: Look, whatever, but I have never found myself with a girl who has no face.
–Columbia University
Thug: Yo, I got a huge blunt in my pocket… Oh, wait, that’s my inhaler.
–Q train
Overheard by: djingo
Thug: Fuck that. Fuck that, nigga! If Bill Gates offered me 20 billion dollars to suck his cock, I’d swallow. Fuck.
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: I would, too.
Thug athlete, after soccer game: You always be playin’ that shit. You play that shit here, you play that shit in basketball, you play that shit in choir…
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: this guy
Thug on cell: I don’t know where I was, but they’s Germans everywhere in this hood! They on my left, right. Damn! [Looks around anxiously] Now I know how Patton felt, son!
–14th & Driggs
Teen thug to friend: Yo, man, have you looked at a map of Manhattan? Know what that shit looks like?!
–W 79th
Overheard by: Nikki W.
Thug: Yo, I need to get this shit cashed.
Clerk: Do you have an account, sir?
Thug: Yeah, but I ain’t got my card or my number.
Clerk: Sir, I need your social security number, then.
Thug: Aight, hold up. [Pulls out phone] Hey, Mommy, what’s my social again?
–Chase Bank, Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Tabitha
Skinny pale male hippie with hair in top knot, to friend, calmly: I'm going to lose my brain. A piece of my brain.
–E.11th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Liz
Man on cell: Yeah, he crossed the line. Then, when he started talking about my wife's anatomy I was just disgusted.
–31st Parking Garage
Thug, about his baby son: So, I'm lookin' at this kid. I be lookin' at him real hard. He got everything I got! Square head, the shoulders, the flat feet, everything! Straight down to the penis!
–Staten Island Ferry
Out of towner to friend: I just want to let you know your armpit is making my wrist very warm right now.
–3 Train
Overheard by: there are worse places you could put that, I guess…
Man to friends: He empties his mind into your face.
–5th Ave & 11th St
Drunk college girl: I don’t mean to have sex with ugly guys but more often than not…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Lo
Thuggish dude on cell: … You want to look in the mirror and be like ewww, while everyone else looks at you and is like, ooh, you know what I’m saying? When I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror I think to myself shit, I am one ugly motherfucker, how the hell do I get so many bitches?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Andrea
Dumpy man waiting on line: I didn’t know court was a beauty contest for ugly women.
–Downtown NYC Courthouse
Man fighting with random woman on train: You’re as ugly as the tip of my dick!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Marlon B
Teenage girl to group of friends: Oh! Did I tell you *Jessica had her baby? Yeah, that shit ain’t ugly.
–Cobble Hill
Loud girl: Omigod I’m soooo pissed! Like, she’s so ugly. Much uglier than me. And you know on Halloween, if I hadn’t been bleeding from my vagina and puking in a bowl he would have hooked up with me instead.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: I was puking in a bowl when I heard this too
Thug #1: Aw, damn! Look who just got out of jail!
Thug #2: Wassup? Wassup?
Thug #1: How you feel?
Thug #2: Free as a bird, just like it says on my MySpace.
–Starbucks, Park Slope
Thug #1: She’s perfect! I couldn’t stop thinking about her while I was in prison, man.
Thug #2: Yeah, you can think of pretty amazing things in prison…
–Union Square
Overheard by: Melissa
