Middle-school boy: Yeah, you’re a pathological liar.
Middle-school girl: What do you mean? When have I lied to you? I never lie. I only lie to my therapist.
–1 train
Overheard by: cate
Middle-school boy: Yeah, you’re a pathological liar.
Middle-school girl: What do you mean? When have I lied to you? I never lie. I only lie to my therapist.
–1 train
Overheard by: cate
Redneck couple #1, looking at clocks: Look, honey, Chicago's an hour behind us. Why's that?
Redneck couple #2: That's because they don't celebrate daylight savings time.
–Times Square
Female MTA employee: I ain’t seen you in forever! Did you start working nights again?
Male MTA employee: Yeah… It was alright. But then I got bored, so I started watching soap operas again. I can’t believe Tad still looks the same.
Female MTA employee: Shit, you like him?
Male MTA employee: Hell yeah, I’m OG.
–4th Ave & 9th St station
Overheard by: Tacologic
Rushed girl to friend: Oh, it's 10:58, just going to make it. PS, Wendy, your hair looks great running!
–Elevator, 55th & 3rd
Overheard by: James Allen
Black 30-something man: And she said, "Nigga, you wanna fuck mah titties wit a gun?"
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Amanda R.
10-year-old boy, very loudly, to 10-year-old girl: Oh, yeah, well…how many guns have you ever held?
–5 Train
Middle aged white man in shorts: Anyone awake at 2 am should be shot!
–LIRR
Overheard by: L.C.
Street performer, trying to move crowd: Okay, let's try this! White people, we are not dangerous! (lifts shirt, pats down sides) We are unarmed! Step closer!
–W 45th & 5th
Man on phone: Right. Right. Wait, what? (in shock) He don't got a gun? Well, he has to have a gun! What kinda game do you think this is?
–J Train
Army dude to friends: People shoot at me every once in awhile. Do I get tipped? No, fuck tips!
–Havanna's Bar
Voter-pusher guy: Remember to vote this Monday!
Voter-pusher girl: It's on Tuesday!
Voter-pusher guy: Thursday! Vote on Thursday!
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Adam
Woman: But I can't make it, because I have a laser hair-removal appointment at one o'clock.
Man: Uh, where are you getting the hair removed?
Woman: My legs, parts of my crotch, and my armpits.
Man: Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesome!
–Washington Square
Girl: I haven’t talked to her since she left for college. How is she?
Guy: I don’t know, man…I haven’t heard from her either, so I guess she’s just, like, decaying or whatever.
–80th & East End
Overheard by: Anne O.
Bearded man: To save time, you should pour your apple juice in with your tea, to make apple-tea.
Unbearded man: That’s crazy talk.
Bearded man: Well, you’re the one who suggested I go on the pill.
–Diner, 59th & 7th
Professor: Why do people take drugs? Because their lives suck. That's right…all of you.
–Manhattan College
Chemistry professor, discussing quantum physics: If you beat on something hard enough, you can get it to do what you want!
–St. John's University, New York City
Property professor, after playing Barbra Streisand's version of "Not While I'm Around": Now, is that the same song as Steven Sondheim's version in Sweeney Todd?? (dreamily) Well, when Barbra Streisand does a song…is it ever the same song?
–St. John's Law School
Overheard by: Cori
Professor: If Obama wins the election, I'll buy you all beer.
–The Cooper Union
Professor: So the way Saint Augustine broke the Lord's commandment not to steal (nobody in class is listening) Was all just his way of honoring the Lord's law, by creating his own. It's sort of like when you have a child that's not allowed to stay up past nine but he knows his parents can stay up as late as they want, so in an act of rebellion he smears his shit all over the walls.
–NYU
Professor: Now, for your presentations, there is a time limit. If you go over nine minutes, I will cut you. (silent pause) …off.
–City College of New York
