Teacher: Settle down! You three are always running around like you’re in a parade or something!
Goofus: Mister, you’re your own gay pride parade.
–R train
Teacher: Settle down! You three are always running around like you’re in a parade or something!
Goofus: Mister, you’re your own gay pride parade.
–R train
Woman: So ummm, what do you think about this painting?
Man: I can’t believe you said I kiss exactly like my brother!
Woman: I love Monet, he uses such vivid colors…
Man: Yuck, now it feels like I’ve kissed my brother as well!
–The Met
Tween girl: It so smells like London out today.
Hippie chick: What does London smell like?
Tween girl: Really damp.
–10th St & Greenwich
Overheard by: Intimidated by children
Midwood girl #1: Hey, where is Maryland anyway?
Midwood girl #2: It’s in D.C. somewhere.
Midwood girl #1: Oh, right.
–Flatbush bagel shop
Overheard by: Ford Madox Hueffer
Girl: Guys, I saw a doppelganger for Justin Case today!
Guy: Yeah me too, his name is Justin Time.
–Virgin, Union Square
Jock #1: Mine is five inches!
Jock #2: Hah! I got you beat! Mine is about four inches.
Jock #3: Yeah? Well, I beat both you dudes. Mine is only two inches!
–W 112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Christopher Stone
Girl: How old is that guy?
Guy: Who, Bono? 40, 45.
Girl: Oh, and where are they from, England?
–7 train
Overheard by: Jack Kennedy
Old lady # 1, crossing the street: Will you help me?
Old lady # 2: Yeah, yeah — I’ll help you.
Old lady # 1: I am very drunk.
Old lady # 2: Yeah, I drank a lot, too.
–78th & York
Overheard by: I hope I’m still getting drunk when I’m that old
Old White man: I have never seen a mother treat a child in such a way.
Latina mother: Dude. You don’t even want to fuck around with a crazy bitch from the Bronx.
–4/5 train
Overheard by: Taryn
Man: How do you get suspended on the first day of school in first grade?
–Lobby, Madison & 27th
