Tourist girl: Oh my god, did you see them? Did you see the lesbians?
Bored guy friend: Yes.
Tourist girl: That was so cool!
–1st & York
Overheard by: Not quite as excited
Tourist girl: Oh my god, did you see them? Did you see the lesbians?
Bored guy friend: Yes.
Tourist girl: That was so cool!
–1st & York
Overheard by: Not quite as excited
Cokehead: Hey buddy, you got a cigarette?
Brit tourist: Yeah, man. Here.
Cokehead: Hey, smell my face.
Brit tourist: Why?
Cokehead: Just smell it, go on! (sticks chin out and pushes face to Brit’s nose)
Brit tourist: No way man, why?
Coke head: Please.
(Brit tourist smells his face)
Brit tourist: What is that?
Cokehead: That’s the smell of a thousand-dollar hooker’s pussy.
–42nd & 3rd
Tourist #1, about Hasidic Jewish guys wandering around: Look!
Tourist #2: Huh?
Tourist #1: Wanna go talk to the Jews?!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lynn
Southern tourist boy: Mommy! Look at the tops of the tall buildings… It looks like the clouds are standing still and the buildings are moving!
Mom: That's because the earth is turning so quickly, sweetie.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Bill O.
Tourist lady: Where’s the ladies’ room?
Waiter: Top of the stairs on the left.
Tourist lady: I was just up there. It’s not marked for ladies, so I was afraid to use it.
Waiter: It’s a unisex.
Tourist lady: Excuse me?
Waiter: It’s for everyone. Men and women.
Tourist lady: You’re all going to hell. Do you know that?
–Bar 89, Mercer St
Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Woman looking at statue: Did Columbus even make it to Manhattan?
–Columbus Circle
Tourist guy: Lots of people, smells really bad… It’s just like I always imagined.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lauren
Tourist lady: Man, there must be something going on in New York today!
Flustered man: It’s called Christmas, bitch.
–Disney Store, 5th Ave & 55th
Tourist girl #1, looking at Statue of Liberty: I don’t get it.
Tourist girl #2: Don’t get what?
Tourist girl #1: Why a chick with a torch? I mean, honestly — what American came up with the idea of building a giant chick with a torch?
Tourist girl #2: Actually, it was designed by the French.
Tourist girl #1: Well, that makes more sense. They’re always putting up giant, crazy things. The guy who did this should get together with that Eiffel Tower guy.
Tourist girl #2, shaking head and sighing: Why am I friends with you?
–Circle Line Ferry
Overheard by: Kitty
Blonde tourist squinting at sign: It says in small letters, ‘African-American burial ground, Historic District.’
Hobo: That’s right. They’s dead niggas all over the mothafucka. Right under the pavement. Paved right over they ass without no mothafuckin’ consideration whatsoever. You probably standing over a dead nigga right now.
Blonde tourist: That’s terrible. How did they find them?
Hobo: The white man was diggin’ here for something — I dunno, prob’ly thought there was some money under the sidewalk, and all they found was a bunch of dead niggas. So they covered ’em up again and put up them signs.
Blonde tourist, handing hobo a dollar: Well, thank you very much.
Hobo: And thank you, ma’am. Any other historical information you need, come back and ask for Willie.
–Center St & Pearl St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Tourist woman: I am waiting until the sign says “walk”!
10-year old: Lady, then you're going to be here for a while.
Tourist woman: I don't want to cross by myself.
10-year old: Uh. I'll cross with you.
–Greene St
