Man: Wow, you sure travel light.
Lady suit carrying only a laptop case and purse: Yeah, that’s what happens when they fucking lose your luggage.
–Taxi line, JFK
Man: Wow, you sure travel light.
Lady suit carrying only a laptop case and purse: Yeah, that’s what happens when they fucking lose your luggage.
–Taxi line, JFK
Southern woman on cell: I could not feel worse than I do right now…You will…Oh my god, they are gonna have to land that airplane so you can vomit.
–66th between CPW and Columbus
Overheard by: Charlie
Dirtbag: Man, I have to get over to Europe. I gotta sell a fucking kidney.
–St. Mark’s Place
Man on cell: Yeah baby, yeah, I’m still in London. Yeah, I’ll be back on Wednesday, baby.
–West 4th & Jane
Conductor: You’re now entering the country of Brooklyn. Please have your passports ready…
–F train
Overheard by: Paul Eng
Girl #1: Okay, but I don't want to be out too late tonight because I have to travel tomorrow.
Girl #2: You do *not* have to *travel* tomorrow…you have to get on a bus to Atlantic City tomorrow.
–E 19th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Silent J
Employee #1: Did you know one company will fly you to outer space for $40 million?
Employee #2: I would never do that. I’d shit myself.
Employee #1: I shit myself even going to Queens!
–Broad & Beaver
Girl #1: How much does he want?
Girl #2: Ten dollars.
Girl #1 to gypsy cab: Fuck you! I’d rather drag my friend home on her face than pay you ten dollars!
–Union Square East
Overheard by: Jim
Married lady: Yeah, and some days I sub at a magnet school in Bed-Stuy. It’s pretty wild. I take the J train.
Single lady: Oh, wow, the J train? I never talk to anyone who takes that. J, M, and Z, right? I mean, it’s practically like a foreign country.
Married lady: I’ve been on the J and the M.
–Savoia, Smith St, Brooklyn
Woman #1: I heard this train fell into the river one time. Is that true?
Woman #2: I dunno. I don’t see how it could. Maybe it could fall off to the side or something, but straight down? How would it get off the tracks?
Woman #1: I heard it fell into the river like nine years ago. Somebody told me that when I was in Miami.
–J train, en route via Williamsburg Bridge
Crying hipster girl: I lost $300 on that fucking team!
Hipster guy: Wait, why are you a Patriots fan? You’re from, like, California.
Crying hipster girl: Yeah, but I summer in Vermont!
–Pop Burger, 58th & 5th
Bland middle-aged woman: It's not like you're giving head in the Port Authority bathroom!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: j
English tourist: You'll go home and people will ask: "So what did you do on holiday?" You'll reply: "Oh, I gave the Empire State Building a blowjob!"
–34th St
Guy on cell: Ugh, fuck me in the ass. No… no, not you. Meanie. Why don't you just suck my dick. Suck my dick!
–34th Street
Dude on cell: It was like getting a blowjob from the inside.
–8th Ave & 53rd St
Guy on cell: Is that the guy that's been sucking your dick?
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Kelley
Young guy on cell: And then I said: "I could really use a blowjob right now." She was offended!
–48th & Park
Young black man to friend: Just because she sucks my dick doesn't make her Oprah Winfrey.
–B48 Bus
Chick #1: I didn’t get into any of the colleges on the east coast I applied to. I’m so bummed.
Chick #2: But you got into Miami — that’s pretty cool.
Chick #1: But that’s not on the east coast. I’m going to have to get a passport and some crazy shots to go there.
–W 10th & Bleecker
