Ghetto girl #1: Yo, he better treat me better than that. I’m talking roses, bling, Red Lobster…
Ghetto girl #2: Girl that’s so true, I’m puttin’ that on my Myspace.
–Union Square
Overheard by: D. P.S.
Ghetto girl #1: Yo, he better treat me better than that. I’m talking roses, bling, Red Lobster…
Ghetto girl #2: Girl that’s so true, I’m puttin’ that on my Myspace.
–Union Square
Overheard by: D. P.S.
Hobo #1: I am not celibate!
Hobo #2: Yo, man, get over here!
–3rd Ave & 11th
Crazy man: Did you hear about the tweezers?!
Boy: Ummm… what?
Crazy man: The tweezers! They’re good. They’re better for your moustache. They help you take the hair out. They’re so much better.
Boy: Ok, thank you.
Crazy man: You’re welcome. Remember! The tweezers!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sam
Guy: They’ll be so impressed that you’ll eat dog shit without them even asking.
Girl: Will they really?
Guy: My friends actually pitched a show called America: Who Can Eat the Most Dog Shit?
Girl: What’s that about?
Guy: Um… basically what it sounds like.
Girl: Well let them know there’s human interest for that.
–Flatiron District
American girl: Get yourself a fucking muffin and let’s go.
British boy: I don’t have any cash.
Girl: Use my credit card, I’m leaving now.
Boy: I can’t use your card. I don’t have your id.
Girl: They don’t check, they never check. You look like a woman, you look like a fucking transexual.
Boy: Really?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: johnjoseph bibby
Girl #1: Can you believe that my boyfriend is still mad at me for that?
Girl #2: Jeez, who knew that throwing an orange at someone’s head can change the whole dynamic of a relationship.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jess
Queer #1: Ann and Leslie are here.
Queer #2: Shit, are they lesbians?
Queer #1: Yeah.
Queer #2: Uh, I’m a D.C. gay. I don’t hang out with lesbians.
–3rd & B
Girl: Is this the cheapest copy of Steal This Book that you have?
Cashier: Yeah, we only have that one new.
Girl: So then this isn’t exactly a used bookstore, is it?
Cashier: Well, you are going to use it, right?
–Village Bookstore, St. Marks
Queer: When I get stoned, my grundle itches.
–6 train
Overheard by: sheerah
Street vendor, gesturing to enormous bong: No, no…this one is for tobacco.
–St. Mark’s
Elderly man: People are stupid! They don’t do pot!
–R train
Stoned guy: Man, why do chip manufacturers always put the crumbs at the bottom of the bag?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: bernard black
Teenage gangsta: Yo, when I was in the shower, it totally tasted like weed. For real.
–Lafayette & Houston
Passenger: If you see a suspicious package or activity on the platform or train, don’t keep it to yourself. Tell a cop or an MTA employee or me. There might be some money or some weed in there.
–4 train
Overheard by: Mike
Long-haired dude, picking up a cigarette butt: Man, that’s not what I wanted to smoke.
–72nd & Columbus
Overheard by: clarence rosario
Abercrombie teen #1: I know it’s in this neighborhood and it’s definitely below Fourth Street.
Queer: Where ju wanna go, honny? Da Cock is down ovah dere.
Abercrombie teen #2: Uh, we’re not looking for the Cock.
Queer: Den ju should go home and change ju clothes!
–2nd Ave & 3rd St
Overheard by: Manhattman
