Old woman inside apartment: You gotta come here and look at this!
Old man: Do I gotta put my pants on to come see it?
–80th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jo
Old woman inside apartment: You gotta come here and look at this!
Old man: Do I gotta put my pants on to come see it?
–80th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jo
Chick #1: You know what today is a perfect day for?
Chick #2: Shopping?
Chick #1: No. Gaelic football!
–87th & 2nd
Museum patron: Tell me the story again about what happened to my bottom?
–Cafeteria, the Met
Woman to misbehaving child: Jamillah Fatima! Do not make me have to make the love connection to your behind on the C train!
–Brooklyn bound C train
Overheard by: ryan
Girl: Man, it’s hotter that 50 butt cracks in here!
–American Apparel, N 6th St, Williamsburg
Idle dreamer: Man…I wish I had, like, 59 butts.
–Apple Store, 5th Ave
Overheard by: i still sell the iPods
Walking VD: I told her straight up I only like her for her ass!
–Kissena Blvd & 71st Ave, Queens
Teen boy: I’m gonna spread your booty cheeks.
–108th & Manhattan
Overheard by: N
Man: Shit, I’ll eat a pig’s ass if they fry it right.
–471 Lincoln Place, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Michael O’Connor
Girl #1: Yeah, so Mike and Nicole talk every day now!
Girl #2: What the fuck? Mike never calls me. I haven’t talked to him in weeks. What an asshole!
Girl #1: When was the last time you gave Mike a blowjob?
–Bed Bath & Beyond, 61st & 1st
Overheard by: i don’t want to give mike a bj
Girl #1: So if I get the Big Mac but get a Diet Coke, it won’t matter, right?
Girl #2: Yeah, because the Diet Coke has like no calories, so it will be like just eating a hamburger without having anything to drink.
Girl #1: So I won’t get fat?
Girl #2: No, totally not.
–McDonalds, 69th St
Black woman: Excuse me, miss?
Upper-East-Side white biotech: I don’t have any money.
Black woman: I just wanted directions.
–74th & Lex
Man, to driver who has almost hit them: No turns on red, you fucking asshole!
Woman: Calm down. He’s from Virginia–he’s obviously an idiot.
–60th & Madison
Overheard by: Todd Garrin
Upper-East-Side lady on cell: I know, but I was at a funeral all day…Yeah, it was sad, but I really didn’t know him at all…This saddest thing was seeing his daughters upset. They’re the same ages as–Wow! This shirt is only $19!! You can’t even buy a freaking Frappuccino for $19! I’m getting it in blue.
–Banana Republic, 86th & 3rd
Overheard by: DC
3-Year-Old boy, putting both hands on butt of woman in front of him: Mooove!
Pushed woman: You shouldn’t let your boy do that.
Mother: What do you expect him to do? He’s got a big ass in his face!
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Sports enthusiast: Man, that guy was queerer than a football bat.
–40th & 6th
Queer enthusiast: My son can play football, but only if he’s gay…Because, well, at least he’d be gay.
–The Cloisters
