Yo Soy Wednesday-One-Liner!

Hobo with guitar, singing: My girl! That white girl is my girl! She may look like Brooke Shields but she's my girl! My girl! Oooh-ooh… Come on, everybody, sing with me, Puerto Ricans, too!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Tater

Drunk Puerto Rican father to man on train, yelling: The capital of Puerto Rico is the Bronx, bitch!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Alice Dalice

Guy, about some girls: I tried to tell them I was Puerto Rican, but they kept saying I was from Spain and called me a douchebag.

–East Village

Overheard by: NYCGlamDiva

Diner waitress: Just because he's Puerto Rican don't mean he's a cheetah.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: monkey girl

Asian girl to Hispanic guy: Come on! She's, like, the Puerto Rico of Asia!

–Jamba Juice, Mercer & Houston

Posted on September 16, 2009
About Celebrities, Animals & Nature, Asians, Baristas, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Drunks, Foreigners, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hobos, Insults, Latinos, Musicians, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Passengers, Physical appearance, Puerto Ricans, Restaurants & Cafes, Singing, Soho, Stupidity, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

Translation: “Just Google It, You Lazy Ho.”

Girl to cashier: Do you have any locations in North Carolina?
Cashier to girl: No, we only have locations on the East and West coasts.

–Store, Grand Central

Posted on June 29, 2009
Cashiers, Girls, Grand Central, Offers and requests, Store, Stupidity, Train Station, U.S. Geography

When They Do, It's Terrifying

Southern tourist #1: Where are you folks from?
Southern tourist #2: North Carolina.
Southern tourist #1: I'm from Virginia. I could tell you're from the South too because you're smiling. Northerners don't smile.

–45th St & Broadway

Overheard by: unsmiling new yorker

Posted on June 20, 2009
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Southerners, Tourism, U.S. Geography

You're So Unsupportive!

Guy #1 (reading newspaper): The fattest city in America: Virginia.
Guy #2: That's not a city.
Guy #1: Oh. I meant West Virginia.
Guy #2: That's still not a city.

–112th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: It's not?

Posted on March 26, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, News, U.S. Geography

Let's Chip in and Get Wednesday One-Liners a GPS for Christmas

Confused American: I used to think Atlantic City was in Atlantic State.

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: MBS

Drunk guy: I don't understand why people are giving Sarah Palin so much grief over that Russia thing. It really *is* pretty close to Alaska.

–W 66th St

Overheard by: Emily B.

Anti-McCain dude to another: Man, Sarah Palin is crazy. Yo, she's just crazy. Why did John McCain even pick her? She's not even an American citizen, she's Alaskan!

–The Bronx

Nervous white lady: Um, is the Broadway/Lafayette stop coming up soon?

–Uptown 1 Train

UPS guy to lost tourists: I'm not a GPS! I'm the UPS!

–Prince & Lafayette

Overheard by: dee

Posted on March 18, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Crazy, Democrats, Directions, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Guys, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Politics, Public Transportation, Questions, Soho, Street, Stupidity, The Bronx, Tourism, Tourists, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women

A Dangerously Cheesy One

Girl #1: Where were you born?
Girl #2: Wisconsin.
Girl #1: Is that a state?

–Union Square

Posted on February 6, 2009
Girls, Questions, Stupidity, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village

Way to Ruin My Train Buzz

Girl #1: But then I saw the l train and I didn't even know where I was, but I was like, “Ooooh, the l train! They sing about that!”
Girl #2: That's Chicago.

–F Train

Posted on November 24, 2008
Directions, Girls, Music, On the Subway, Public Transportation, U.S. Geography

At the Greenwich Village Explorer's Club

Girl #1: I didn't think that Newark was actually a place. I thought it was just an airport and a factory. But apparently it has, like, government-funded housing or something.
Girl #2: So, like, poor people?
Girl #1: Yeah!

–Greenwich Village

Posted on November 15, 2008
Girls, Money & Class, Questions, Stupidity, The Village, U.S. Geography

Of Awkward

Teen girl: Oh, I love your nose! What nationality are you?
Middle aged man: Pardon?
Teen girl: I mean, where were you born?
Middle aged man: USA.
Teen girl: What?
Middle aged man: The United States.
Teen girl: (looks confused)
Middle aged man: …of America?

–L Train

Posted on November 8, 2008
Body Parts, Men, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, U.S. Geography

A Howling Wilderness Where Celery Tonic Is Unknown

Construction worker taking coffee order: I don't think they have what you want at that deli.
Construction worker placing order: They have to have it. This is America, where do you think we are, Alaska?

–Construction Site, Bronx Zoo

Posted on October 26, 2008
Blue-collar workers, Food, The Bronx, U.S. Geography

U.S. Geography