White People

Man to woman: You wouldn't procreate with Boomer Esiason, even though he's the king of Cincinnati?

–Deli, Canal & Hudson

Overheard by: Uncle Bling

Man on cell: Elvis made ten million dollars last year and he's dead. There's no reason I can't make a thousand.

–Park Slope

Hipster: I like Steve Buscemi a lot more than I like you.

–Life Cafe, Bushwick

Overheard by: D

Woman in Southern accent to man: Look, the McGraw-Hill building. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill must own that building!

–W 49th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Michael

Middle aged white man to friend: I finally figured it out. "Mystikal" sounds like a constipated Samuel L. Jackson.

–LIRR

White guy #1 So what did we come here to get?
White guy #2: I don’t know. I hate buying video games. It makes me feel Asian.

–Gamestop

Overheard by: gamegirl

White guy #1: I just came back from a doctor visit, I’m loaded with prescriptions, Zanax, Viagra, I got everything, man.
White guy #2: Yeah, you got painkillers?
White guy #1: Hell yeah, I’m a Vet, any time I get sore, I take
one. I’m good, shit, I don’t even have to pay for these things.
White guy #2: Can I get some Vicodin?
White guy #1: Nah, see that I don’t got, you got to go down to this bar in Bay Ridge. Where are you from?
White guy #2: Sunset Park.

–86th & 4th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Nosey Girl

White guy: You mean, you don’t find Mexicans sexy? Sexy Mexicans?
White girl: Shhh! They can hear you!
White guy: Sssexicans?

–N train

Overheard by: curry sprinkles

Black woman: You look like Vanna White.
White girl: Really?
Black woman: Don’t she look like Vanna White?
Queer: Yes, but better.
Black woman: What do you mean better! Vanna is rich and shit. And on TV. And this bitch over here has nothing. She’s on the subway, for Christ’s sake!

–Downtown 6 train

Overheard by: JR

Upper East Side white boy #1: Yo, dude, you can't take 10-dollar bills out of an ATM!
Upper East Side white boy #2: In the South Bronx you can…

–59th & 3rd

Young black teen: Is that a North Face jacket you're wearing?
White guy: Yes, it is.
Other young black teen: Do you use it to go skiing?
White guy: Uh, yes.
Young black teen to friend: See! I told you white people use North Face jackets to go skiing!

–F Train

Girl #1, watching clean-cut white guy who is playing his clarinet for money: What’s he doing peddling on a subway?
Girl #2: Do we have to give him money because he’s white?

–Downtown C train

White woman: Do you have a middle name?
Black guy: James. James Bond.
White woman: What?
Black guy: James Bond.
White woman: You’re fired!

–Broadway & Cortlandt

Overheard by: Stephie Russell

Thug: Why you gotta be white and ignorant?
White Girl: Why you gotta be black and belligerent?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Bacon