Woman: It’s about an old depressed cat and her friends put her in a tire and shoot her to heaven.
–R train
Overheard by: Misha Lonergan
Woman: It’s about an old depressed cat and her friends put her in a tire and shoot her to heaven.
–R train
Overheard by: Misha Lonergan
Lady: Excuse me, but I’m looking for a book.
Store chick: And?
Lady: I don’t remember the title or author, but the cover is purple.
Store chick: Our purple books are downstairs.
Lady: They sent me up here.
Store chick: We’re sold out of purple books. You want something in a yellow?
–Barnes & Noble, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Nanny #1: Who were you named after, Paulette?
Nanny #2: My father.
Nanny #1: Oh, what was his name?
Nanny #2: Ette.
–Washington Square Park
Lady: A lot of people came off this train. Why aren’t you people moving in?
Guy: There’s a baby stroller in the back.
Lady: Well, they should move it. Move it over to the side!
Guy: Move a tiny infant baby? Everybody, look! This lady right here is the Antichrist! Move the baby? You the Antichrist!
–6 train
Teacher lady: What a deep, deep black!
Girl #1: Black like my soul.
Teacher lady: Maybe you should try pencil.
Girl #2: Wait what did you say?
Girl #1: It’s black like my soul.
Girl #2: You should get a kitty.
–Dominican Academy, East 68th Street
Overheard by: cemo
Man: You wore red panties to your brother’s funeral?
Woman: Yeah, I wore green shoes too…You wanna say something about it?
Man: Oh…very…Christmasy.
Woman: I thought you were Jewish?
Man: Well, I am. But I’ve heard of Christmas before!
–Canal & Mulberry
Black woman: My god. This bagel is hard as a rock!…I mean I can’t eat this shit. Can you eat this shit?
White guy: I’ll eat it.
Black woman: Ugh.
White guy: Well if you dont want to eat it, I’ll eat it. I’m hungry.
Black woman: I’m just sayin’ it’s the worst goddamn bagel I’ve ever had.
White guy: Honey, it’s from Dunkin’ Donuts. What do you expect? Domino’s ain’t good pizza and Olive Garden ain’t good Italian, either.
White chick: Dude! Next thing I know you’ll be telling her there is no Santa Claus. Go easy.
–Borough Hall 4/5 station
Overheard by: phil j
Woman: No thanks, the shoes just didn’t look good on me.
Salesguy: Thanks for trying.
Woman: Uh, you’re welcome?
–Steve Madden, East 86th Street
Overheard by: Lucy
Old man: Is this bench for young people or old people? Because I only sit with the young.
Woman: It’s for everyone.
Old man: Well, since it’s Christmastime, I’ll sit with you.
–Roosevelt Island station
Overheard by: Suriya
Girl: Santa Claus is from Finland, you know.
Guy #1: Oh yeah?
Girl: Yeah, he’s not from the North Pole like you think he is…I know him, I can ask him about you.
Guy #1: Oh yeah? Well, have I been naughty all these years?
Girl: I don’t know, I’d have to go back and ask him.
Guy #1: Yeah, find out why I haven’t been getting presents all these years.
Guy #2: He’s Jewish.
Woman: Are you from Finland, then?
Girl: Yes.
Woman: Are you Santa Claus’ granddaughter, then?
Girl: Oh yeah, and we’re from the same town in Finland…and he’s not fake, he’s real!
–L train
Overheard by: Kaitie
Jewish man: But I was here first! I was waiting!
Black chick: All right sir, just calm down. It doesn’t matter. Get a life.
Jewish man: Why don’t you go back to jail?
Black chick: Yeah, and why don’t you go get some viagra or something?
Jewish man: Yeah, I’d need it for you.
Black chick: Fuck you, bitch!
–Court Street Office Supplies, Brooklyn Hights
Overheard by: mrmcd
