Guy #1: Taking family members on a sex safari is not a good idea.
Guy #2: It was hardly a sex safari, idiot. I just took my brother to a massage parlor.
–Broadway & Canal
Guy #1: Taking family members on a sex safari is not a good idea.
Guy #2: It was hardly a sex safari, idiot. I just took my brother to a massage parlor.
–Broadway & Canal
Girl #1: Hey, so I went to that sushi place you told me to go to last night, and I got food poisoning!
Girl #2: Oh. Hey, you went there? How was it?
Girl #1: I got food poisoning.
Girl #2: Yeah, but how was it before the vomiting set in?
–Ameritania Hotel
Blond: You need to go jump off this balcony right now.
Brunette: It’s the first floor!
Blond: Good, ’cause then you’ll just break your leg. I love you, I don’t want you to die!
–80th & Amsterdam
Guy #1: Sounds like she really misses you.
Guy #2: Yeah, she does, but what am I supposed to do? If you’re not happy, you’re not happy. What? Am I supposed to suffer just to make her happy? I’m not Jesus.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Vivek
Hipster girl #1: I better watch out — after the weight I lost, my mom is thinking I’m anorexic or something. I should start eating more.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, or lay off the coke.
Hipster girl #1: Or that.
–Times Square
Ladies’ man #1: So just bang her out, then.
Ladies’ man #2: After what she did to me, I don’t think I can just give that to her.
Ladies’ man #1: The man always has the upper hand — you should just bang her out and then call her the next day and be like, ‘Hey, do you have any cute friends you could hook me up with?’ You know, make her feel like shit.
–Uptown A train
Overheard by: JD
Drunk girl: I look like a Halloween movie — like Freddie the 13th. Wait, that’s not right.
–PATH train
Overheard by: Juggs Photographer
30-something woman: I’ve come to realize that there’s never going to be a Lloyd Dobbler. There won’t be any boom boxes.
–Prospect Park
Hushed female voice during screening of Short Bus: What the fuck does this have to do with hooking up in New York post-9/11? Take this hippie-dippy crap back to Portland! Ewww! God, take your carriage clock and shove it!
–Landmark Sunshine Theatre, Houston St
Middle-aged tourist to husband: They are so dramatic with all of the security here… It’s just like a movie.
–Church St, by World Trade Center
UPS Guy: I swear to you, Joey, I seen a lot of movies in my time and this movie is not to be missed. I swear, it’s definitely one of the ten best I’ve ever seen. And I’m a big movie buff. They have it at Blockbuster — you have to rent it. It’s called Nanny McPhee. You got that? Nanny McPhee.
–34th & Broadway
Woman: It’s like watching The Sound of Music and The Exorcist at the same time!
–Starbucks, Financial District
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy: That movie had more male pube shots in it than any movie I’ve ever seen.
–Starbucks, 66th & Columbus
Overheard by: MojoSaves
Ghetto cashier #1: Hey! Let me read the horoscope!
Ghetto cashier #2, reading The Daily News: The horoscope says it’s going to rain today and be really cold.
Old man: And that it’s a good day to die.
–Grocery store check-out, W 148th & St. Nick
Lady carrying box: What brings you to the city?
British woman: We’re here looking at schools.
Lady carrying box: Well, are you concerned about electromagnetic fields?
–New Yorker Hotel elevator
Overheard by: Alyssa
Conductor: Due to a problem at 14th St-Union Square, this train will be going express to Brooklyn Bridge. This train will not stop at any local stops. The next stop will be Brooklyn Bridge. Switch to an uptown 6 train for all local stops. The next stop will be Brooklyn Bridge. The next stop will be Brooklyn Bridge. Brooklyn Bridge is next.
Man: What was the next stop?
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: Petey Mills
