Chubby Asian girl: I just don’t know, Dani* — if you start out giving him head, I don’t see what I’m supposed to do.
Ghetto girl: You s’posed to shut the fuck up and eat my pussy, bitch.
Chubby Asian girl: Oh, okay.
–Starbucks, St. Mark’s Pl
Chubby Asian girl: I just don’t know, Dani* — if you start out giving him head, I don’t see what I’m supposed to do.
Ghetto girl: You s’posed to shut the fuck up and eat my pussy, bitch.
Chubby Asian girl: Oh, okay.
–Starbucks, St. Mark’s Pl
Asian girl, after falling down: Ouch! My knee!
Suit: That is the hottest thing I’ve seen all week.
–45th & 3rd
Overheard by: Lena L.
Dude to woman: You can’t talk about the second dimension, but you can talk about sewing?!
–12th & 4th
Overheard by: Joy
Asian woman to boyfriend: I am not going to talk about having a threesome with you and your clone on the train!
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: Ann
Chick on cell: … Talking about the apocalypse, but they were really laid back people.
–Barnard College
Lady: I can’t even talk to you for seven minutes, and you’re about to be my husband!
–Union Square
Woman on cell: I know you’re full of muscle relaxants and want to chat, but I can’t talk right now. Just take a picture of it and email it to me.
–57th & 6th
Overheard by: Withnail
Girl: Oh! Funny story — I was talking to my therapist about suicide yesterday…
–13th & 6th
Overheard by: gigglesnort
Asian guy: Also, Freddie Mercury didn’t deserve to die.
Black guy: I’m okay with him dead. He was gay, he fucked around, he had AIDS — he deserved to die.
Asian guy: So, you are saying that people who sleep around too much deserve to die? I sleep around. Do I deserve to die?
Black guy: … Yes.
–E train
Overheard by: Ting
Asian princess: #1: You know what’s annoying?
Asian princess: #2: What?
Asian princess: #1: When, like, people carry, like, two bags.
Asian princess: #2: Oh my god, I know! Like, when they have their school bag and then their coach bag…
Asian princess: #1: Totally! It’s like, sooo annoying.
Asian princess: #2: Yeah! That’s why I put my bag in my school bag.
–Q11 bus
Irate lady with luggage: This is a filthy town! Horrible!
–Penn Station
Guy on cell: You opened a cadaver today? Oh, shit, man — congrats! That’s so cool… I changed a nasty dirty diaper today.
–26th & 8th
Mother to sobbing young son: Honey, you can’t pet a stranger’s mink. You just can’t. Especially with dirty hands — that’s why she was mad at you.
–M3 bus, 45th & 5th
Blonde on cell, wearing mink coat: I have a couture mink coat, and I will not have those low-lifes getting their crappy filth all over it!
–Starbucks, Citigroup Center
Woman hurrying small boy along: Yes, that wall is filthy, don’t touch it. Everything you can see in this city is dirty.
–W 67th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Asian man: Look, if you’re gonna stab me at least use the clean knife.
–Applebee’s, 42nd St
Overheard by: explosivo
Woman on elliptical to woman on stationary bike: Justin made me take the subway today. I didn’t like it. I felt dirty.
–Equinox, Soho
Overheard by: jdm
Asian guy #1: Fucking motherfucker!
Asian guy #2: Ass-fucking mule!
Asian guy #1: Cum wad!
Asian guy #2: Asian!
Asian guy #1: Whoa, man, that’s just rude.
–Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: Laura
White guy: A queer Sikh holding a cigarette like a woman and talking about grenades. Now I’ve seen everything. [Pause.] How was the mocha?
Asian friend: It was delicious, thank you.
–Q46 stop, Union Tpke & Utopia Pkwy
Overheard by: Peter G
Asian kid #1: In my classes the teacher is always pairing me up with the other minorities. Just because I’m Asian doesn’t mean I speak all those languages, too.
Asian kid #2: I could close my eyes walking down the street and count to five and when I open them see at least one other Asian. We’re everywhere.
–LIRR
Late-20s woman: Up until six months ago, I thought Europe was a country. I just didn’t know…
–6 train
Overheard by: 21 and knows better
Social butterfly: Williamsburg? Where is that? Pennsylvania?
–Broadway & Bond
Overheard by: the bfd
Dude: What? You’re not from Illinois, you’re from Chicago!
–Cheesecake Factory
Female tourist: Where’s Chicago, again? Oh, that’s here in New York, right?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Genissimo
Astonished woman: Los Angeles is not a state!
–Outside Javits Center
Overheard by: Tara
Asian tourist chick: Is this considered the West coast?
–Max Brenner, Union Square
