Teen boy #1: You want her to suck your dick?
Teen boy #2: She did, but I don’t want to make out with her.
–4th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: jayloo
Teen boy #1: You want her to suck your dick?
Teen boy #2: She did, but I don’t want to make out with her.
–4th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: jayloo
Dude #1: Mike’s always talking about how he has no gag reflex.
Dude #2: Would you let him blow you?
Dude #1: Fuck no, I’m not gay!
Dude #2: Blow jobs don’t have a gender.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: chelsea
Girl: Seriously, I’d give, like, 20 blowjobs to get an apartment.
–Barna, 26th & Park
Overheard by: Greg
Crazy guy: I gotta stop eating pussy. I’m losing my breath.
–F train
Girl to guy: If you don’t like oral sex, don’t open your mouth.
–68th St station
Overheard by: liza
Guy defending self to group of friends: I’ve tasted pussy!
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Reina
Guy on cell: Which one? Me sucking dick or San Francisco?
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Teen girl: I need balls in my mouth.
–Disney Store, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Gin
Ghetto teen: And so she was suckin’ my dick, and there was a 10 dollar bill on the table, and — get this — when she stopped suckin’, it was gone! Bitch took my money!
–Fulton Mall, Brooklyn
Overheard by: djingo
Ghetto kid #1: Yo, Cam’ron be doin’ some gay shit!
Ghetto kid #2: Nah, but he always calls ‘no homo’ so it’s aight.
Ghetto kid #1: So if Cam’ron asked you to suck his dick ‘no homo,’ would you?
Ghetto kid #2: Well, if he called ‘no homo…’
–B9 bus, Ave M
Woman #1: No, fingering is third base. Blow jobs don’t have a base.
Woman #2: Wait. Blow jobs don’t have a base?
Woman #1: Nope. That’s how we roll in Jersey.
–F train platform, Jay St station
Guy #1: You should go back to sucking dick, that’s what you’re good at.
Guy #2: You would know… Damn it!
–Washington Place & Broadway
Overheard by: NewYorkerNick
Boy #1: They’ve been broken up for two weeks and she’s still suckin’ his dick.
Boy #2: Yeah.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill campus
Overheard by: Brendan
Drunk queer #1: Hey, let’s get some food!
Drunk queer #2: I don’t have any money!
Drunk queer #1: That’s alright. Papi will pay…if you nibble his foreskin!
Drunk queer #2: Alright. Where do you wanna go?
–17th & 5th
Black guy on cell: Yea! Yea! He just called me up. I was like, "Yo, stop callin me up"… Yea!…. Yea my sister’s on crack!
–Houston & Essex
Overheard by: saywhat?
Suit: Well, I’m a drug dealer, so I have a phone for each kind: a pot phone, a coke phone, you know…
–R train
Queer on cell: Oh my God. I left the check at home. I am such a fucking idiot. I am such a FUCKING idiot! Yeah, I’ll be there at six. Ok. I’ll bring you E and orange juice.
–Bank of America, 6th Ave
Overheard by: CarrieBoo
Bum: Hey… can you spare me $20 dollars, so I can buy some crack cocaine? I mean, I’ll share it with you. I have enough for a 10 but I want a chicken head to slob on my knob while I take a hit…
–96th St Subway Station 1,2,3
Overheard by: Franco
Smooth talker: So my ex-girlfriend was a blonde Long Islander cokehead and now here I am with you. So you can see this is a real step down.
–Les Enfants Terrible, Canal & Ludlow
Overheard by: wants to meet the ex
Hipster: You OD’d? WHERE?
–14th & 6th
Bitter ex: And fuck him and his fuckin’ wooden leg that I didn’t even know he sold crack out of!
–80th & 3rd
Disgusted hipster: I mean, I only do drugs as a joke!
–14th St L station
Overheard by: Em
Queer #1: I’m stuffed.
Queer #2: Yeah. I’m not gonna put another thing in my mouth tonight unless it’s a cock.
–18th & 8th
