Chick #1: So, who would you rather blow — your mom or your dad?
Chick #2: Well, my mom kinda looks like me, and I think that’s hot, when it’s two girls who kinda look like each other.
–Brooklyn-bound L train
Chick #1: So, who would you rather blow — your mom or your dad?
Chick #2: Well, my mom kinda looks like me, and I think that’s hot, when it’s two girls who kinda look like each other.
–Brooklyn-bound L train
Queer waiter: Hey! I have a question for you! If Santa came to you on Christmas Eve and told you that you were on the naughty list, and the only way to get off the naughty list is to give him a blowjob, what would you do?
Ditzy waitress: Like, oh my god, I would so give Santa a blowjob.
Queer waiter: See, I love you! This is why we are friends.
–Olive Garden
Teen boy #1: You want her to suck your dick?
Teen boy #2: She did, but I don’t want to make out with her.
–4th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: jayloo
Dude #1: Mike’s always talking about how he has no gag reflex.
Dude #2: Would you let him blow you?
Dude #1: Fuck no, I’m not gay!
Dude #2: Blow jobs don’t have a gender.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: chelsea
Girl: Seriously, I’d give, like, 20 blowjobs to get an apartment.
–Barna, 26th & Park
Overheard by: Greg
Crazy guy: I gotta stop eating pussy. I’m losing my breath.
–F train
Girl to guy: If you don’t like oral sex, don’t open your mouth.
–68th St station
Overheard by: liza
Guy defending self to group of friends: I’ve tasted pussy!
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Reina
Guy on cell: Which one? Me sucking dick or San Francisco?
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Teen girl: I need balls in my mouth.
–Disney Store, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Gin
Ghetto teen: And so she was suckin’ my dick, and there was a 10 dollar bill on the table, and — get this — when she stopped suckin’, it was gone! Bitch took my money!
–Fulton Mall, Brooklyn
Overheard by: djingo
Ghetto kid #1: Yo, Cam’ron be doin’ some gay shit!
Ghetto kid #2: Nah, but he always calls ‘no homo’ so it’s aight.
Ghetto kid #1: So if Cam’ron asked you to suck his dick ‘no homo,’ would you?
Ghetto kid #2: Well, if he called ‘no homo…’
–B9 bus, Ave M
Woman #1: No, fingering is third base. Blow jobs don’t have a base.
Woman #2: Wait. Blow jobs don’t have a base?
Woman #1: Nope. That’s how we roll in Jersey.
–F train platform, Jay St station
Guy #1: You should go back to sucking dick, that’s what you’re good at.
Guy #2: You would know… Damn it!
–Washington Place & Broadway
Overheard by: NewYorkerNick
Boy #1: They’ve been broken up for two weeks and she’s still suckin’ his dick.
Boy #2: Yeah.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill campus
Overheard by: Brendan
Drunk queer #1: Hey, let’s get some food!
Drunk queer #2: I don’t have any money!
Drunk queer #1: That’s alright. Papi will pay…if you nibble his foreskin!
Drunk queer #2: Alright. Where do you wanna go?
–17th & 5th
