Can You Catch White?

Old black woman: Hey, you! That white woman left her purse! Take it and give it to her! What’s wrong with you? The white woman sitting next to me left her purse here — go after her and give it back!
Young guy: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Old black woman: The white woman! She left her purse! Give it back [throws purse at him and it falls to the floor. Young guy walks away shaking his head.] What’s wrong with you people? Obviously you don’t care!

–Port Authority bus terminal

Overheard by: bri b

Posted on October 23, 2014
Black People, Etiquette, Port Authority

Afghanistan is an Early Olympic Favorite

Guy: So then why are guys from the Eastern Europe and black guys so good at basketball?
Dad: Natural selection.
Guy: What?
Dad: They’ve had to fight to survive. It weeds out the physically inadequate.
Guy: Give me a break. It’s the ghetto, not some Hobbesian state of nature; they’re not cavemen living in anarchy up there.

–Madison Square Garden

Posted on October 18, 2014
Black People, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Parents, Sports, Tourist Attractions

America, Encapsulated.

Black guy in suit: Gimme a hug!
Black lady: I'll give you a hug once you pay me.

–Lexington Ave & 43rd St

Overheard by: dees

Posted on October 12, 2014
Black People, Hugs, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Suits, Women

Even General Powell?

Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!

–F Train

Posted on October 12, 2014
Black People, Default, Directions, Guys, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Race, White People

Aren't You from the South Bronx?

White girl: So, how are you finding Atlanta?
Black girl: There are a lot more black people than I've ever seen.

–Broadway & 56th

Overheard by: marie

Posted on October 10, 2014
Black People, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Race, White People

That's Not What Papi Says

Young African American child pulling mother's hand: Ándale! Ándale!
African American mother: Cut that out! You're not Mexican!

–103 & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on October 8, 2014
Black People, Kids, Languages, Moms, Race, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-Liner Is Murder

Black man: I can never watch you eat sausage again. It was the most awkwardly erotic thing I've ever seen. It was the perfect combination of food and female.

–Pratt Coffee Shop, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Maryrose

Boy to friend: And then the teacher said: "and that's the history of ham"!

–Queens

Overheard by: alex

Young woman on cell: Well, I would go to Gray's for hot dogs with you, but I can't. I gave up tubed meat for lent.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Caroline

Cute teen girl: It'd be like a floppy bag of meat… (pause) I'm not talking about dick!

–Starbucks

Woman placing drive-thru order: And two junior bacon cheeseburgers. Actually, I don't want the bacon. I don't want to get the swine flu.

–Wendy's Drivethru, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Oh the Pig-manity!

Upset Orthodox Jew mother to baby in stroller: Bacon!? Who told you about bacon!?

–West End & West 100th St

Posted on October 8, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Black People, Boys, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Food, Friends, Illness, Jewish Moms, Judaism, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Kink, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Today, He is Truly an African-American

Black guy: Good god. I had to actually work today.
Indian chick: By “work” you obviously mean taking credit for the many hours of hard labor endured by my fellow Indian IT brethren who report to you. You exploiting bastard.
Black guy: Ha, ha. Like slavery. But I’m Black.
Indian chick: Oh, the wicked irony.
Black guy: Word.

–Wall Street

Overheard by: drama

Posted on October 6, 2014
9 to 5-ers, Black People, Bosses, Computer, India Indians, Jobs & Careers, Race, Talking/Convos, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I’m Gonna Win Every Hipster Fight!

Black hipster #1: Oh my god! These jeans are sick! They’re lime green and making my eyeballs hurt!
Black hipster #2: Oooh, oooh, show me!
Black hipster #1, exiting dressing room: Man, my dick hurts ’cause they so tight! But daaamn… I look good!

–American Apparel

Posted on October 3, 2014
Black People, Clothing, Compliments, Default, Friends, Hipsters, Store

Wednesday One-Liners Want Angelina Jolie to Adopt Them

Large black woman to another: So I said to him, "Muthafucka, don't you know a baby comes out of that shit? Ain't nothing you got down there gonna hurt me!"

–Fulton St

Old man with thick Russian accent: It is fresher than a baby's bottom!

–Ave M & E 16th, Brooklyn

Ghetto black guy on phone: Nah, I was locked up, but I'm out now, and she's tryin' to say it's my baby, but that shit ain't mine.

–Downtown 2 Train

Man on cell, passing adorable child playing with dog: I love fucking babies!

–10th & 53rd

Puerto Rican girl to pregnant friend: You feel like you have to poop, but that's just the baby.

–36th St & 34th Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Bryan Bruner

Conductor: Ma'am, please step off the ramp platform and wait until it is safe. (pause) Miss, you're having a frickin' baby, get off the ramp! (she does) Thank you.

–Metro-North Rail Tracks

Overheard by: Theonlyonewhoseemedtonotice

Teenage mother to friends, running to catch subway: Last one gets the baby!

–Broadway

Overheard by: Francisco S. Ramírez

Posted on October 3, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Astoria, Babies, Black People, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Family Ties, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Insults, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, Penis, Poop, Preggers, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Prison, Public Transportation, Puerto Ricans, Questions, Robbing the Cradle, Street, Teens, Trains Not Subway, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Black People

Even General Powell?

I’m Gonna Win Every Hipster Fight!