Black chick #1: How mad was she?
Black chick #2: She's as mad as if she was just let out of slavery yesterday.
–Aveda Salon, Upper West Side
Black chick #1: How mad was she?
Black chick #2: She's as mad as if she was just let out of slavery yesterday.
–Aveda Salon, Upper West Side
Drunk black girl: I get mad cheap shit in Chinatown. You can get shit for like ten cents. China knows what’s up.
Drunk black guy: Shit. But they are communist and shit.
Drunk black girl: Yeah, but the U.S. is a bunch of idiots. They’re like, "We are gonna make shit fuckin’ expensive," and China is like, "FUUUCK YOUUU. We are gonna sell shit for like one dollar, and all you stupid white bitches gonna buy it up. Fuuuck youuu."
–N train, 28th St
Fordham freshman girl to others: So how far is it from Fordham road to Bloomingdale's?
Black passer-by: Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla! I love white girls!
Fordham freshman girl: Let's take a cab.
–Fordham Road
Black kid after seeing white girl in gym clothes run by: Man, for a second I thought that white girl was running from the cops too!
–Fordham Road, The Bronx
Overheard by: run, white girl, run
Middle-aged black lady yelling on crowded train: Young black men stand the fuck up! Kill the NYPD!
–A Train
Little kid to bus driver, after a police car siren is heard: Whenever I hear a police car siren, I always think that they are getting donuts, 'cause, ya know, cops love donuts, right?
–B41 Bus
Dude: I was playing the new GTA. I drove around looking for my apartment but couldn't find it, so I just shot a bunch of cops.
–Columbus Circle
Cop with M-4 assault rifle (serious voice, on a sunny day): It's raining men out here.
–86th & Lexington
Black dude following girl: Hey man, check out that ass! Look at that ass! That’s some fine ass. Look at that ass.
Black chick being followed: (into her phone) Hold on. (turns to man) Nigga, go away!
–Broadway & Lafayette
Overheard by: Ivan
Sassy black lady to a dog on a leash connected to a man lounging in a chair: Oh you’re just precious! You are a good looking puppy! She’s beautiful!
Man in chair (matter-of-factly): I’m so drunk.
–Water & Fulton
Overheard by: Angie
Black guy: And lemme get two Dutches…
Store clerk: (puts them on the counter)
Black guy: And lemme also get that … that female Dutch.
Store clerk: (looks confused)
Black guy: You know, man, that female Dutch. You know what I'm talkin bout, man.
Store clerk, pointing to various items: This one? This one?
Black guy: Nah, man, you know, that female Dutch! For the pussy, man! For the pussy!
Store clerk: (takes down a douche) This one?
Black guy: Yeah, yeah! See? You knew what I was talkin bout!
–130th St & Lenox Ave
Overheard by: Kosi
Hipster Pee-wee Herman lookalike to friend: Oh, and when I give her anilingus to let me direct a show? You're totally gonna be in it!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Flea
Man: I believe some of this will be made up.
–Going into Wicked, Broadway
Overheard by: CAM
Black highschool girl: Oh my god, why do they keep singing?
—In the Heights, Broadway Musical
Overheard by: Cookie
Woman in Jersey accent: Is this the one about the boy who wants to be a horse or the girl who wants to be a fish?
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: HarlemRy
Daniel Radcliffe fan girl: I have to be in this show some day. Even if I'm eighty, I gotta be in this show with him. I'd be like, "put it in me! Put it in me!"
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Nikki
Man leaving Hair: Well, that beats the hell outta Shakespeare!
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Sketchy black guy: Awww, now that’s a cute couple right there!
Boyfriend: Thanks.
Sketchy black guy: Now all y’all need is some weed!
–Washington Square Park
Guy: Yeah, they say that now in France they’re banning Muslim women from wearing overalls.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: H. Chan
Black woman on cell: …and then she says to me “I like that song!” and I go, “Yeah, well I like fish and avocado peels.”
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Fernando Taveras
Guy: If you was dead, then you’d know what I’m talkin’ ’bout.
–J train
