Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.
–Houston & Lafayette
Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.
–Houston & Lafayette
Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs)
–Apple Store, 14th St
Overheard by: Susie
Smoking cook, watching busty girl carrying shopping bags: Jesus…
Busty: I'm not Jesus, I'm the wardrobe lady! And my boobs are real!
–12th & 6th
Overheard by: that guy
Sketchy guy to hot girl: Hey, baby girl, I like takin' long walks through the projects, sittin' on a park bench eatin' French fries… (she walks away) Hey baby, come back!
–Christopher & 7th
Guy to girl walking down the street: Hey you…I wanna get on your bus.
–125th b/w Park & Lexington
Overheard by: Reilly
Big dude to hot girl: Hey girl, come talk to me for a minute. (she stays still) C'mon girl, chubby thugs need love too.
–Franklin Ave & Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn
Black thug to white girls: I'm Barack Obama's cousin, wanna go on a date? (they pass) That's gonna be my new pickup line, yo.
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Guy, as a curvy woman struts past him: Shake what yo momma gave you…not what yo momma paid for!
–Shuttle Train
Overheard by: Meredith
Seton Hall jock, leering at female in next seat: Wow, this ticket has more holes in it than I've ever seen before!
–NJ Transit
Drunk guy to girl on subway platform, after Yankees game: I'm a classy guy! I will take you to the fucking Radisson!
–Yankee Stadium Subway Platform
Little kid: We're going to the city to get mommy titties!
–LIRR Train
Punk chick: This thing needs bazooms. I'm a punker chick with itty bitties.
–Midtown Office
Girl to female friend: Hey, did you know today is the three-year anniversary of my boobs?
–Union Square
Crazy lady trying to exchange a shirt: I can't go to work with my tits hanging out!
–Abercrombie & Fitch
Overheard by: me neither.
Chick on cell: In his defense, I forget about breasts, too.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Drunk guy #1: Alright, just saying, if all of us and our friends were chicks, who would get a boob job?
Drunk guy #2: Oh, definitely Mike*. You know, I would definitely say him. He's pretty vain.
(two innings and many beers later)
Drunk guy #1: Alright, if we all were chicks, who'd be clean shaven?
Drunk guy #3: It'd be Steve*. I mean, he already manscapes!
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Number 6
Headline by: stephie
Runners-Up:
· “Alright, If We All Were Chicks, What Base Would You Go to With Me?” – Rosie
· “And Which One Would Go Lesbian With Me?” – Meredith
· “And to Answer Your Next Question, Frank Already Does Anal So…..” – I’d shave too.
· “How We Ended Up Giving One Another Head, But Not in a Gay Way” – Rionn Fears Malechem
· “Then Raise Your Beers and Answer Me This, “Who Would Swallow?”” – Bobo D Clown
Wannabe thug paging through a Playboy, to another: Yo, check that shit out! Those are seven hundred bucks a pair. They got diamonds and crystals and shit in them!
–A train, W 4th St
Black lady #1: So, what happened to her?
Black lady #2: She had to have her breast inplates removed! Can you believe that?
Black lady #1: Oh, shit!
–Jamaica Market food court
Overheard by: Pilar
Girl: It’s like, ‘Hey, you’re a nice guy and I’ve got boobs… So let’s do something about this.’
–33rd & 7th
Dude: You would want to blow up the world, too, if your mother gave you a wolf titty to suck on.
–1 train
Metrosexual: I like boobs better than titties.
–Stuyvesant Town
Overheard by: Argopelter
B&T teen: I don’t know what you want me to do about my chest. I’m 17 years old! You want me to get implants? Would that make you happy, Mom?
–Dressing room, Macy’s, Herald Square
Woman on phone in cubicle: I borrowed that money to pay for my boob job. If they want to repossess them, they know where to find them.
–Office, Woolworth Building
Overheard by: Big Larry
Student: Why can’t I grab your boob in a totally care-free way?
–Lang cafeteria
Blonde looking in compact: I need a new nose.
Boyfriend: I need a new apartment.
Blonde, whiny: It’s always your needs! What about mine?!
Boyfriend: You just spent five thousand dollars on your fucking tits with my money!
Server waiting to take order: I’ll come back when you two are ready…
–Olive Garden, Chelsea
