Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy: I’m not the mommy.
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy: I am not the mommy.
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy, screaming: I am not the mommy!
–Little Italy grocery
Overheard by: should i be taking parenting notes?
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy: I’m not the mommy.
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy: I am not the mommy.
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy, screaming: I am not the mommy!
–Little Italy grocery
Overheard by: should i be taking parenting notes?
Mom, reading about unicorns to ten-year-old son: The unicorn was a symbol of Christ, its head in the virgin Mary’s lap…
Son: Wait, wait, wait! Mary was a virgin?!
–Museum of Natural History, Mythic Creatures Exhibit
Boy, after watching An Inconvenient Truth: Do you believe in god?
Girl: I believe in mother nature.
Boy: You don't believe in god?
Girl: I mean, I do… But I believe this is happening because of nature.
Boy: But you believe in her?
Girl: What?
Boy: Mother nature?
Girl: Mother nature is not like a person… It's just a saying for nature.
Boy: Wait… What? Oh… (pause) I thought she was like a tree or something.
–Regal Cinema, Union Square
Overheard by: Noeman Samdani
Boy #1: Dude, I got Foley this weekend.
Boy #2: Dude, that's awesome. How was she?
Boy #1: She didn't know what she was doing, but the sex is going to be fucking awesome.
Boy #2: Dude, good for you man.
–78th St Bus Stop
Boy #1: It’s so gross! My aunts pinch my cheeks and call me cute and make, like, cow noises!
Boy #2: Take it from me: wait ’til you get older. I promise, no one will ever call you cute again.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Andrea
Five-year-old boy, crowded around his mothers’ blackberry with younger sisters: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Mommy… time’s up!
Mother, who had been rushing around the sale room with just one item: [Ddisappointed] Okay, okay. I guess I’ll just take this one sweater…
–Anthropologie
Overheard by: amused shopper
Mother, pointing to a woman playing the musical saw: She is singing!
Son: No, She’s playing the saw.
Mother: There is an orchestra playing!
Son: It is a tape.
Mother: And she is singing?
Son. No. She is sawing.
Mother: What did you say?
Son: Go, have a look.
Mother: …….
Son: And?
Mother: It’s like singing.
Son: That’s it, the saw.
Mother: What a nice voice she has!
Son: She is not singing. It’s the saw that’s singing.
Mother: No way… She is singing into the saw?
Son: No, no singing. Just sawing.
Mother: But she is opening her mouth.
Son: She is breathing.
Mother: Are you sure she is not singing?
–Union Square subway station
Soccer mom: In two weeks, my knitting circle’s going to the strip club.
–28th & Lex
Girl: I want to become a stripper so that I can see Patti LuPone in Gypsy every night.
–St. James Theatre
Overheard by: Erin
Loud NYU chick: Listen to the opening guitar riff of Voodoo child. It makes you want to be a stripper!
–Bobst Library
Overheard by: evil em
Six-year-old boy to parents: Oohh! Zombie strippers! Let’s see that!
–Port Authority
Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah…
–Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg
Little boy: But how do I know you’re not part of the Martian menace?
Dad, deadpan: You don’t.
–110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Alexandra
