Girl #1: Ugh, I hate Honda Elements. They’re so ugly!
Girl #2: Yeah, but did you know that you could, like, fill the whole thing with water and it would still run perfectly?
Girl #1: Why would you want to do that?
Girl #2: I don’t know… But you could!
–W 42nd & Broadway
Girl #1 to group: Well, he doesn't have a job, or a car, and has a cat named Jedi.
Girl #2: Wait…who is this?
Girl #1: The guy I slept with last week.
Girl #2 (sarcastically): Quality!
Girl #1: Well that's why I just slept with him, instead of dated him.
–Therapy Bar
Little girl in car: Dad, slow down! You don't get extra points for hitting pedestrians!
Overly cheerful father: It depends what game you're playing!
–38th & 5th
Female driver to chubby crossing pedestrian: You gonna die, honkey!
–City Island Ave
Overheard by: Sam
Female tourist: Look–he just gave the other driver the finger!
Male tourist: Isn't that just like saying “hi” in New York?
–72nd St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Gazoo
Girl #1: I hate my life! I need to go out there! Like drive to Hawaii!
Girl #2: You can't drive to Hawaii, you don't even have a license!
–Bedford & N 8th
Overheard by: Bklynguts
Suit: There are two kinds of people in this world: Those with MBAs from Harvard, and us.
–6th & 55th
Overheard by: Dan
Agitated suit on cell: A dime is worth less than a dime. A dime is worth less than a dime!
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
Suit to another: People are stupid, and the ones that aren't stupid are dumb!
–Madison & 49th
Suit: So Jake had this Mustang, right? And then every time he'd go to the circus they'd treat him like shit.
–59th & Lexington
Overheard by: i'll take the mustang
Suit to sandwich maker: Give me one with extra juice, so I can let it drip down my chin.
–Deli, 33rd & 7th
Suit on cell: That's stupid! Just put it in a bag and throw it in the river!
–23rd & Lexington
Overheard by: tallnawkward
Old man #1, yelling at unstopping cabs: Hey! Hey! Come on!
Old man #2, with cane, hobbles over: No, no! You've gotta use your cane. Like this! (sticks his cane out into the street, a cab stops)
Old man #1: Hey! Next time, I'm bringing my cane!
Old man #2, hobbling away: You're welcome.
–W 57th b/w 9th & 10th
WASP man on curb: You almost ran my wife over!
Imitation mobster jumping out of Mercedes: Yeah, you wanna get shot, asshole?!
–W 4th & Perry St
Overheard by: neko
Two cop cars are after someone, heading downtown on Fourth Avenue, sirens going. One cop brakes abruptly and throws it into reverse and makes a backward left turn onto 86th Street, where a civilian is sitting in his car, waiting for the light to change. The cop car smashes into the front of the civilian’s car, and the cop announces on
his megaphone: Wake up, dildo!
–Bay Ridge
