…Because Clearly You've Met Mine.

Urban man with bubble jacket: How do you say “animal” in Chinese? I think it's “dungkun” or “dungkuk”?
Chinese woman: You mean…husband?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Tom Fickle

Posted on April 13, 2009
Animals & Nature, Chinese, Language Barrier, Marriage, Men, Penn Station, Questions, Women, Words

So This Is Kosher?

White guy: Hi, I'd like a pork bun please.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Chicken bun?
White guy: Uh, no, a pork bun please.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Chicken bun?
White guy: Um, no. (points at pork bun) I'd like a pork bun. Pork.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Oh. (pause) Chicken bun?
White guy: Yes. Chicken bun.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Two dollar.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Steve Major

Posted on November 20, 2008
Chinatown, Chinese, Ethnic Food, Guys, Language Barrier, Money & Class, Offers and requests, White People

Wednesday-One-Lina, Please!

Ghetto guy: Fuck no! That nigga's soft as cotton.

–Union Square

Black guy: Yo nigga, I called this nigga and said "Yo nigga."

–59th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Satch

Random old black guy sitting alone on steps: Nigga who, nigga what, nigga where, nigga what?

–2nd ave and 8th st

Overheard by: evanescent

Chinese kid to another: Do I look pussy to you, nigga?

–Sunset Park, Brooklyn

White thug on cell: What? You can't call me nigga, you're white!

–Beverley Road & Ocean Parkway

White guy to Dominican guy: Yo, you look like the kinda nigga who gets bitches. Where they at?

–11th & 3rd

Overheard by: Benny the boo

Posted on September 17, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Chinese, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Kids, Latinos, Old People, On Cell, Questions, Race, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, White People, Words

The Director's Cut Of Happy Feet, Perhaps?

Chinese DVD lady: You want DVD? Spiderman, Pirates? All good new movies, you want?
People at table: No, thanks.
Tranny at next table (loudly): Yo mama you got any pornos in there? Hmm, I want something with dick in it, big dicks. You got anything?

–37th Ave Subway, After Gay Parade

Overheard by: Empty Refrigerator

Posted on September 9, 2008
Chinese, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Manhattan, Movies, Offers and requests, Penis, Porn, Strangers, Trannies, Vendors & Street Performers, Wishes & desires, Women

He’s Got Jungle Fever

Chinese food lady in Chinese take-out restaurant: Duck sauce, soy sauce?
Mr Clean-looking guy: Uhh Uhh… [Scratches shiny head.] I dunno, the Black sauce.

–Flushing, Queens

Posted on April 3, 2008
Chinese, Customers, Default, Ethnic Food, Offers and requests, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Waitresses, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Hardly. I Studied with the Bejing Opera

Black chick: What kind of soup do you got?
Chinese deli guy: Uhhh, we got some chicken noodle soup.
Black chick: Oh, just chicken noodle soup?
Chinese deli guy, singing and dancing: With a soda on the side! [Black chick glares at him in silence.] Uhhh, yeah, that’s all.
Black chick: That’s fuckin’ ign’ant, man.

–106th & 2nd

Posted on January 18, 2008
Black People, Chinese, Food, Gripes, Upper East Side

Glad We Got That Out of the Way

Chinese mother holding plate of free rice: Do you like rice, girls?
Little girls: Of course we like rice, we’re Chinese!
Chinese mother: I know you’re Chinese. I am Chinese, too.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Non-Chinese Rice-Lover

Posted on March 10, 2007
Central Park, Chinese, Food, Race

I Did, for Christ’s Sake!

Chinese customer: Hey, do you work here?
Chinese salesman: Yes.
Chinese customer: Okay, are you guys going to have the PlayStation Three when it comes out?
Chinese salesman: It comes out November 17th.
Chinese customer: I know — are you guys going to have it?
Chinese salesman: It comes out November 17th.
Chinese customer: Okay… I know that. Are you guys going to sell it?
Chinese salesman: I don’t know if we have pre-orders.
Chinese customer: So, are you going to sell it on November 17th?
Chinese salesman: Yes, yes, we sell on November 17th — first come, first serve.
Chinese customer walks away mumbling: Damn, man, learn some English.

–J&R Music, City Hall

Overheard by: Hugh