Woman #1: Having a job makes you feel…
Woman #2: More secure?
Woman #1: Less unemployed.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: meghoney
Woman #1: Having a job makes you feel…
Woman #2: More secure?
Woman #1: Less unemployed.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: meghoney
Little boy to mother: Mom, can I have a motorcycle? I'll take really good care of it!
Mother to son: My son, you will never have a motorcycle. It's dangerous… Mommy will buy you a BMW.
–Brooklyn
Ditzy but slightly nerdy girl to bored guy: His idea of free time was spending it with people.
Bored guy: Yeah…
Ditzy girl: But my idea of free time is, like, books…
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: maremare
Girl: But I don't want you to feel awkward.
Boy: It's okay. I love you more than feeling awkward.
–South Street Seaport
Teen #1: Yo, she said she was gonna break up with me 'cuz I didn't sleep with her that night.
Teen #2: So, you broke up?
Teen #1: Nah. I'm going to her place after school tomorrow.
Teen #2: I can't believe you didn't hit that.
Teen #3: Yo, even Patton had to retreat before he took Berlin.
(silence)
Teen #1: Dude… What the fuck?
–Montague Street, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: Ugh, no I can't. I've been at work, I'm totally wasted.
–Outside Penn Station
Whiny American Apparel employee to new recruit: You're not allowed to chew gum on the floor, you can't wear UGGs to work… You have to be 100% American Apparel.
–Downtown F Train
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Subway musician to dude walking by with guitar on his back: Get a real job! (pause) I always wanted to say that to someone.
–S Train
Female suit to make suit: So, is your work still sticky like mine?
–Port Authority
Overheard by: quiet commuter
20-something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him.
–Strawberry's, Queens Centre Mall
Overheard by: i like that option…
Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and I've never had them before. I think it must be the time of year or something.
–Hudson River Park
Girl on cell: Well, he slipped me Ecstasy while I was sleeping…
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Guy on cell: That's awesome! (pause) That's awesome! (pause) Dude, that's like reverse Sleepaway Camp!
–27th & 2nd
Overheard by: liz
Nurse: I just want to stop having dreams of him saying "pap-smear pap-smear pap-smear…"
–Columbia University
Overheard by: p y l
Guy #1: So are you from Canada?
Guy #2: No, New Jersey… It's kind of like Canada.
–112th St & Broadway
Little boy: My stomach hurts!
Teacher: How does it hurt? What does it feel like?
Little boy: It's… Almost like how it feels being pregnant.
–Public School, The Bronx
Large black guy: ' Scuse me, do you know David Jensen?
Attractive gay guy: Nope, sorry.
Large black guy: Oh, man, cuz you look just like him, have you ever been on tv? Friends?
Attractive gay guy: Nope.
Large black guy: What about Baywatch?
Attractive gay guy: Nope, sorry, pretty sure the last episode of Baywatch aired when I was eleven.
Large black guy: You must get all sorts of shorties, right?
Attractive gay guy: Ha! Well, maybe if I wasn't gay.
Large black guy: Oh, man! I'm gonna have David text you, look out for his number.
Attractive gay guy: Uhhh, sure thing.
Large black guy, one stop later, as they're both getting off the train: Yo, just so you know, ain't nothing like pussy.
–7 Train
