Wednesday One-Liners to Go Gaga Over

Teenage boy in suit to others: Apparently I look a lot like Lady Gaga.

–42nd St

Overheard by: model UN delegate

Elderly man to elderly woman: Gaga… What's a gaga? He went to see Lady Gaga! Gaga… Gaga? Gaga? (goes on for some minutes)

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Jill

Girl to friends, all singing Lady Gaga: I just want to take her face and put it in my vagina. That's how obsessed I am with Lady Gaga.

–7th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Stephanie

Girl: Lady Gaga is not going to sit on your face.

–12th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Cass

Posted on June 9, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Names, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners

…Which Brings Me to My Latest Invention

Guy: We should go bike riding.
Girl: I can't. I forgot how to ride a bike.
Guy: You don't forget to ride a bike.
Girl: Well, I don't believe that saying, because I forgot.
Guy: If you can ride a cock, you can ride a bike.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Annonymus

Posted on June 8, 2010
Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Penis

The Movie Doris Day and Rock Hudson Should Have Made

Woman: What are you listening to? Can you hear me? I'm talking to you.
Guy rocking out to his music: Oh yeah! Soundgarden. So good! Listen. (hands her earphone)
Woman: Oh, I must know some other Soundgarden. (hands back earphone)
Guy, still rocking out: This is the best! It's great to have sex to!
Woman: Ew! I can't believe you just said that. Can you hear me? You can't hear me. Fuck you! Yeah, I said it.
Guy, not hearing her: I love syncopated riffs!

–Downtown 1 Train

Posted on June 7, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Gadgets, Guys, Idiots, Insults, Music, On the Subway, Sex, Women

You've Never Been to the Village on a Saturday Night?

JAP #1: It's like seeing a midget in drag.
JAP #2: Oh, I've always wanted to see that.

–35th St & Lexington

Posted on June 6, 2010
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Height, JAPs, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Physical appearance, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

JWowsday One-Liners

Older black man to younger black man: Yeah, cause you don't need to say you're from the Jers to pick up chicks, they ain't like that here, son. I mean, if she's mad hot then you can clue her in that you're from Jersey, but only if you think she can appreciate your flow…

–Lafayette & St. James

Frat boy crossing street: Butthole in New Jersey.

–Flatbush Ave & 7th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Hunter

Stoned-looking teen to friend: Are you from New Jersey? Maybe you told me, but I can just, like, sense it…

–Union Square

Overheard by: wgoddessw

Guy to friend: Yeah, man, I was watching that show Jersey Shore the other night… Makes me glad I live on Long Island.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Fistpump like a champ

Stressed film major: You are going to give me that fucking power chord. Then I'm going to punch you in the vag. Then you're coming to New Jersey with me.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Posted on June 2, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Black People, Bosses, Brooklyn, College, Compare/Contrast, Frat Boys, Friends, Guys, Men, One-liners, Penn Station, Pick-up Lines, Punch, Sensory Experiences, Stoners, Teens, TV, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Are “Technical Virgins”

Slutty gay kid: My ass is not a storage shed for your dick.

–6th Ave & W 11th St

Overheard by: Matthew

Man on cell on bench at midnight: It's like this: you either take it in the ass or suck dick.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: DAISYMAE

Guy holding KY lube containers to passer-by: Hey, you want some for your girlfriend? You can put it on her asshole.

–St. Mark's

Overheard by: Kon

Girl on cell: Maybe if you change your relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship", I'll let you have buttsex with me.

–SoHo

Overheard by: seal

Blond suit screaming into BlackBerry: I said I don't want buttsex for Valentine's Day!

–38th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on May 26, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Asshole, Backdoor, Battery Park, BJs, Compare/Contrast, Facebook, Girls, Guys, Lube, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Queer guys, Relationships, Soho, Strangers, Suits, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

If One More Person Says That to Me Today…

Woman to cashier: Do you have a bathroom I could use?
Cashier: No, we don't have public bathrooms here.
Woman: It is harder to pee in New York than to see a gorilla doing the Watusi in Times Square at high noon.

–Times Square

Posted on May 24, 2010
Animals & Nature, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Offers and requests, Pee, Times Square, Women

You Have No Clue Who That Is, Do You?

Frumpy female office worker, hanging up phone: Yes! He just asked me out!
Ordinary female office worker: Are you excited?
Frumpy female office worker: Are you kidding? I feel just like Sadie Hawkins on Sadie Hawkins day!

–Empire St. Bldg office

Overheard by: Tom

Posted on May 23, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Empire State Building, Happiness, Holidays, Office, Pop Culture

Terminal Velocity's for Losers

Student #1: If we spit at the same time they'll hit the rail at the same time.
Student #2: No way! My spit will beat your spit down, no problem!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Joseph Durning

Posted on May 22, 2010
Compare/Contrast, On the Subway, Smegma, Students, Stupidity

Not Quite Tom-and-Katie Bad, Though.

Yuppie girl #1: This thing with Robert is just killing me…
Yuppie girl #2: How bad could it possibly be?
Yuppie girl #3: Ugh… It's like when-Heidi-Klum-married-Seal bad!

–Union Square

Posted on May 22, 2010
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Marriage, Relationships, Union Square and East Village, Yuppies

Compare/Contrast