Supermarket stock guy, screaming into cell while loading cheese onto shelves: Yo! What up, punk ass! Call me back punk ass bitch!
[Hangs up cell and breaks into chorus of that “Oh What a Night (December ’63)” song.]100-year-old male shopper: ’63? You’re not even old enough to remember ’63.
Stock guy: Man, I was born in ’60. July 1960.
100-year-old male shopper: Oh, ’60, huh? I served in Korea…
–20th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: LiAps
Umpire: Foul ball. It hit her in the box.
Teammate of batter: No it didn’t, it hit her in the stomach.
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: Ramrod
Man: Do you have ID?
Teenagers: Huh?
Man: ’cause you gotta be high to be in here!
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: the imbiber
Wannabe gangster, on opposite Up escalator, watching couple in their mid-20s kissing on Down escalator: Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.
[Girl flashes a thumbs-up behind the guy’s back.]Wannabe gangster: Yo, that bitch is COOL!
–AMC Theatre, Times Square
Overheard by: just eating popcorn
Girl #1: She wants a doggie.
Guy: A doggie?
Girl #1: Yeah, a doggie.
Girl #2: She likes it doggie?
Girl #1: That’s the only reason she lives for.
–Fort Green, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rat
Guy #1: The Jehovah Witnesses say the world is ending and the good will inherit the earth… So then what? The less good people will be the bad people, and little things will seem worse?
Guy #2: I don’t get it, these religions are inconsistent. Is Jesus taking the good people with him or do the good people inherit the earth? I hope he takes them with him.
Guy #1: I spoke with Jesus and he doesn’t know what’s going on: he just got the Xbox 360 and said he could care less.
Guy #2: He sounds like a good guy.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Bobby
Ghetto man, sticking his head into the car and yelling to no one in particular: Are you single? [Nobody replies.] Are you single?!
Ghetto girl: Yeah, I’m single.
[he walks over to her.]
Ghetto girl: My husband left me. After five years he just left. Said “I love Frank.”
Ghetto man, announcing to the rest of the car: Did you hear that? This woman’s husband left her for another man! [to the woman]: What’s your phone number? [She gives out digits]
–F train
Overheard by: and she wonders why…
Hipster #1: No water?!?!
Hipster #2: I can’t believe they’re denying us the most basic necessity … I hate everyone right now!
–McCarren Park Pool
Tourist #1: This is us.
Tourist #2: You sure?
Tourist #1: Yup, Cay-null Street.
–N train, Canal St station
Overheard by: sara n.
Chick #1: I didn’t call you fat.
Chick #2: Yes, you did! I remember it vividly! But it’s okay, ’cause I just forgot.
–34th & Broadway
Overheard by: may
