Fat black woman #1: I tried on all their larges, and they was all tight. They don’t make sizes for real women anymore.
Fat black woman #2: That’s why all them pretty, skinny bitches in movies get killed first. No one cuts a big sister.
Fat black woman #1: Hmph… Cut them up.
–80 Broad St
Overheard by: The Pidge
Man on cell: You still love me even though I’m a fatty?
–113th & Broadway
Guy on cell: You know, dude, I could totally fall in love with her if she weren’t such a crack-whore.
–11th & 3rd
Overheard by: Kaitlyn
Loud hipster girl: Shrooms are like love and happiness. You don’t find them; they find you!
–Williamsburg waterfront
Overheard by: could use all three
Idealist: If he really loved me, wouldn’t he moisturize?!
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Ghetto girl: Love ain’t got nothin’ to do with the way you smellin’ right now!
–Chambers & Broadway
Overheard by: AWAG
Middle-Aged guy: But if she loved me so much, why did she point the shotgun at me?
–57th between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: harvey
Woman on cell: You know that Susan already hates you…Of course she’s just doing it to be a bitch…I love Susan.
–73rd & Columbus
Overheard by: Will
Girls looking at pictures: He was mad fat, but he was a good ass baby.
–Uptown A Train
Guy walking through sea of sun bathers: There aren't even that many fat people here… That's good.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Guy on cell: You're not skinny fat, no.
–East Village
Guy on cell phone: You mean you're not going to fatso's wedding!
–N Train
Overheard by: wasn't even invited
Female suit: Why the hell does Weight Watchers have so many big fat people working in their offices, anyway? That's so not inspiring!
–40th & Madison Ave
Guy on phone: You mean the really nice one? She got big? What do you mean by big? (pause) Oh. Well, she has an exceptionally beautiful face, man. Do the right thing.
–9th & 15th
Overheard by: Courtney
Girl # 1, looking at a picture: omg, I’m so fat
Girl #2: No.. you are just ano now.
Girl #3: It’s ani, not ano.
Girl #1: No, it’s def ano.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Neither Ani nor Ano
Woman #1: So, you know Tanya…
Woman #2: Yeah, skinny little thing. What a waste of a fuck!
–58th & Madison
Overheard by: Tom T
Chick: Is that woman pregnant and drinking a beer? Oh wait, that’s just her gut. Probably from all the beer!
–Yankee Stadium
Woman, looking at two obese ladies flirting with a construction worker: This scene makes me want to puke.
Man with her: (laughs)
Woman: But all I've got in my stomach is cum.
–Gramercy Park
Overheard by: Me Too?
Younger guy: She was a bit fatter than I expected.
Older guy: Well, you still did the deed though?
Younger guy: Yes, of course I did. I had the beer goggles on to protect me but it was hard to keep the cattle prod charged.
Older guy: Well, it’s not the pussy’s fault.
–42nd & Avenue of the Americas
Headline by: chubba
Runners-Up:
· “Also, Her Tail Kept Getting in the Way” – sam
· “I Learned a Lot That Summer on the Ranch…” – Mark
· “If Only I Had My +5 Armor with +2 Strength.” – Bevan
· “It’s the Whale Attached to It” – Bizzznatch
· “They Always Blame the Cat, Never the Dog…” – Steve Gotz
Girl #1: How's this look? Does it make me look fat? Like super obese fat?
Girl #2: You are fat. So, uhhh…yeah, sorta.
Girl #1: Let's get some cupcakes.
–92nd & 3rd
Enthusiastic 20-something: Oh, is that ciabatta? Yummy! Whenever I see ciabatta, my pussy starts to swell!
–Broadway & 13th
Random passerby: He wants a vagina. In and around his mouth.
–The Village
Cute NYU blonde: He won't like, touch my vagina with his hands. That means he's gay, right?
–Mercury Lounge, LES
Drunk Latina to drunk white girl whose boyfriend stepped out to get a paper bag: Girl, just tell him to take you home. Tell him you want to sleep tonight. Tell him your pussy is closed!
–McDonald's, 14th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: ehka
Girl in gym: Everything on my body is flaccid, except my vagina.
–Fordham Gym
