Store woman: It’s so cold in here.
Store man: It’s really not so bad.
Store woman: Well, not all of us have a protective layer of blubber to keep us warm in the winter.
–Starbucks, 60th & Broadway
Store woman: It’s so cold in here.
Store man: It’s really not so bad.
Store woman: Well, not all of us have a protective layer of blubber to keep us warm in the winter.
–Starbucks, 60th & Broadway
Chick #1: And I was like, goddamn, it’s food…I can eat it, you know?
Chick #2: Seriously. Just because she’s anorexic doesn’t mean she can impose her thoughts about food on you!
Chick #3: Wait, wait, wait. Back up. You ate a cracker you found on the floor of the subway?
–Chinatown Ice Cream Factory, Bayard Street
Chick #1: Where’s [Suzy]?
Chick #2: She’s in Vegas.
Chick #1: She is? How’d she get there so fast?
Chick #2: I dunno. She’s fat. She can fly.
–Starbucks, 53rd & Park
Girl: Like, I tried anorexia last year, and I only lasted, like, six months.
–Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street
Overheard by: Mary Button
Girl: So we were all really drunk one night and someone said we should all drink our blood.
Guy: Oh yeah?
Girl: So we cut ourselves and dripped blood into this cup and passed it around. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen…we were really drunk.
Guy: That’s really not good. That’s really bad.
Girl: …But we were really drunk.
–Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street
Overheard by: jesse kay
Girl: I am glad you don’t think she’s prettier than me.
Guy: What? She is like, trailer trash.
Girl: No, she’s really pretty.
Guy: What are you talking about? She is some lady they found in the parking lot by the garbage. They were like, “Hey lady, we will give you $20 to do this.”
Girl: …she is like, the American standard of beauty.
Guy: She is a dumpster-diving prostitute!
–Access Digital Theatres, Prospect Park
Overheard by: matt stohrer
Guy: Can I just say, maybe Zorro shouldn’t be the first American movie you see.
–83rd & Broadway
Little boy: Why didn’t Harry Potter just take a shotgun and blow that guy’s head off?
–Loews Kips Bay Theatre, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Mark Schilsky
Girl #1: Shh! I can’t hear what he’s saying!
Girl #2: Bitch, you read the book already!
–DGA Theater, West 57th Street
Black chick #1: Girl, he so fine.
Black chick #2: Mmm…
Queer: Yes, we all know he’s fine, but shut the fuck up!
–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Scott Hoffman
Girl: So for the last half-hour of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I couldn’t stop crying. Then everybody in the theater turned around and laughed at me.
–Waverly & Mercer
Overheard by: Stu
Guy #1: You still fixing vans for that production house?
Guy #2: Yeah, I even got in a movie. Check me out in Prime; it’s with Uma Thurman. I’m in it for like 20 seconds playing basketball on the street with a red do-rag. I was like 30 pounds heavier then; I just got out of jail.
–DMV, Greenwich Street
Overheard by: Anthony Bloodsucker
Black woman: All these assholes going to the movies…Lowest common denominator!
–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street
Overheard by: Amanda K
Girl: I heard there’s an Asian girl in the new Harry Potter.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So they are branching out.
Guy: Yeah…but she is kinda big.
–Beard Papa’s, Broadway & Astor
Overheard by: sim choo
Girl: I am dating two different guys with kids and no one will take me to see Harry Potter. Now that‘s fucked up.
–Eatery, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Mike
Suit: I think you would really like As Good As It Gets.
Woman: Is that the one with Jennifer Aniston?
Suit: No, it’s Helen Keller.
–75th & 3rd
Overheard by: Aaron Hotfelder
Girl #1: Oh no, I can feel my pulse in my neck!
Girl #2: You can always feel your pulse in your neck, douchebag.
Girl #1: No, but it’s, like, really strong.
–Washington Square Park
Bag lady: I have osteoporosis.
Hobo: Ostoprognosis? Is that serious?
Bag lady: Well, I might die from it. It makes you boneless. I have no bones. Like a Perdue chicken.
Hobo: So it turns you into a skeleton!
–2 train
Guy: I wish I could turn my fat into gold.
–18th & 5th
Overheard by: basselope
Old cashier lady: Sixteen years ago they gave me 72 hours to live. I only have three arteries in my heart.
Old customer lady: How many are you supposed to have?
Old cashier lady: Four.
Old customer lady: Oh. That’s not that bad…
–Stop and Shop, Astoria
Overheard by: Dan
Old lady: That’s the brownstone where Matthew lives with Sarah Jessica Parker. She didn’t grow up in the West Village, you know.
Old man: All that money they make, you think they’d never settle for a house that’s only 18 feet wide.
Old lady: Only skinny people can live there.
–7th & Charles
Girl #1: So did you guys fuck all night?
Girl #2: Yeah, till I had to stop to smoke a cigarette because I needed to throw up…I felt so fat just laying there while he rabbit-humped me.
–The Met
Overheard by: Aubrey DiScalo
