Guy, looking down and putting newspaper over crotch: Well, you gave me a boner.
Girl: I'm sorry, David Bowie just turns me on.
–4th & Broadway
Guy, looking down and putting newspaper over crotch: Well, you gave me a boner.
Girl: I'm sorry, David Bowie just turns me on.
–4th & Broadway
Haggard-looking middle-aged woman: Hi, yes, I need a refill. I need my Xanax. (short pause) My life is hell.
–CVS Pharmacy, 42nd & 10th Ave
Suit on cell: No mom, I'm not going to just start popping antidepressants without seeing a professional first! Why would you even say that?!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: I'd have prescribed some ritalin for him
MTA conductor over loudspeaker: Hey Bobby! Lay off the steroids, they're making your voice sound funny!
–MTA Harlem Line Train
Overheard by: Nina
Loud suit on cell: Hello? Yes, hi, I'd like to order a Viagra pill. Only one, sir. No, no, just one. Sir, I want only one pill of Viagra, can you do that for me? Can I pick it up tomorrow? Great, thank you. I look forward to seeing you. Take care now, bye bye.
–44th St & 3rd Ave
20-something girl: Whenever I have a bad day, I think "How did Hillary Clinton feel?" and then I don't feel so bad. I mean they must have put her on sedatives to make it through that.
–C Train
Cute girl on cell: Well, tell her if she takes all those pills I'm going to kill her!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: arctinus
Queer #1: Girl, his dick was so big it barely fit through the hole at the video booth.
Queer #2: Really?
Queer #1: Yeah, he must have passed out every time he got an erection.
–Sapa Restaurant, Chelsea
Overheard by: M. Tina
Guido: If Mike Rowe died and you were there… Like if he died from natural causes and just went to sleep and died… Would you have sex with him?
Bitch: Hmm, I mean, I don’t know, I’d have to like take a peek.
Guido: You mean you’d look at it?
Bitch: Yeah, maybe touch it.
Guido: But would you have sex with him?
Bitch: Roberto! It wouldn’t be hard!
Guido: But what if he got hard and then died… Would you have sex with him?
Bitch: Maybe, but like why do I need to do that when I can just… You know… Ohh nevermind.
Guido: Oohh because you’ll be doing all the work anyway? You could just buy a blow up doll.
Bitch: Exactly, so why do I need to hump Mike Rowe’s dead body?
–6 Train
Overheard by: wet willy
Starbucks employee #1: I just got so aroused when I made that caramel coffee today.
Starbucks employee #2: Oh god… You didn’t do what you did last time, did you?!?
–Broadway & Reade
Girl: Well, you would have to be loaded to get someone to wash your balls every hour.
Guy: No, I wouldn’t. I could do that shit now! Just pay someone who works at McDonald’s five bucks an hour more, they would so do it.
Girl: Yah, but do you really want someone who worked at McDonald’s washing your balls?
Guy: I’m getting a chubby.
–Greene St & Spring St
Overheard by: Laughed Out Loud
JAP #1: So, I’m outside smoking a cig, right? And there’s this guy, like, smoking right across the street. O-M-G… He walks across the street, and, like, stands right in front of me and stares!
JAP #2: Was he cute?!
JAP #1: Ewww! His hard-on was sooo gross!
–Whole Foods, 24th & 6th
Drunk Brit with arm around ugly lady: Oh, Jesus, just walking is making me horny.
–10th & 2nd
Overheard by: emilia
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Your hair is making me horny.
–B train
Overheard by: Janelle
Guy in hoodie: I don’t know — rain gear just doesn’t really turn me on.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ktg
Loud woman: According to recent research, a nine-month-old fetus can experience an erection.
–Bus to Staten Island
Chick on cell: … And he was, like, rubbing his erection on me, and I was like, ‘Dude, you’re rubbing your erection on me…’
–Fordham University
Lady: What are horny men doing at Build-a-Bear, anyway?
–40th & 5th
Overheard by: don’t wanna know
Chick #1: So, he was laying on top of me and, y’know, the thing popped up…
Chick #2: So you slept with him?
Chick #1: No, I said, ‘You better deflate, ’cause I’m not having sex with you.’
–Outback Steakhouse
Overheard by: Meagan
Guy: I have an unnatural hard-on for post-modern dystopias… I have an unnatural hard-on for I Dream of Jeannie!
–Milon Restaurant
Overheard by: LBC & The Imbiber
