Guy: Hey! Don’t touch me! You can’t sit here. People don’t just sit on the floor on the train.
Drunk woman: I have…a very bad…back…
Guy: Then ask somebody to give you their seat. Then go see a doctor.
She flips him off.
Woman #2: Oh no, she didn’t!
–A train
Overheard by: wish I’d been drunk at 9am
Construction guy: Well, she didn’t sound Chinese over the phone.
–Fulton & William
Guy: Did you see that woman? She looked at us like she’d never seen a black man before.
–NYU College of Dentistry elevator, East 24th Street
Receptionist lady: Don’t you be sayin’ my whole name; I’m on America’s Most Wanted!
–NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, West 168th Street
Overheard by: supermerm
Blind man: Excuse me ma’am, coming through…Excuse me, miss.
Woman: Damn! Watch yourself with that fucking walking stick! Shit! And how the fuck did you know I was a woman? Can that shit tell you genders too? Ha, ha!
Blind man: Not quite, but you smell like stale fish so I figured you were a woman. Have a nice day!
–E train
Overheard by: Shanny O.
Tourist lady: Um, I have a non-train related question.
MTA guy: What?
Tourist lady: Is there a nice place to get some coffee or tea around here?
MTA guy: Yeah, outside.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: rod vanderlaan
Announcement: Please be nice going on and off the escalators.
–Smith-9th Streets station
Overheard by: Fulcanelli
Girl #1: I don’t understand why they gotta say “How you doin'” and “Have a nice day.”
Girl #2: They’re trying to be nice, stupid.
–KFC, 125th & 7th
Overheard by: Edwina P. Garza
Drunk guy: you’re not taking money out, you’re taking each other out!
Pair of fruitfucks!
–15th & 8th
Guy: How old are you?
Hipster girl: You know, I never answer that question. Because to me, it’s about how mature you are, you know? I mean, a fourteen year old could be more mature than a twenty-five year old, right? I’m sorry, I just never answer that question.
Guy: But, uh, you’re older than eighteen, right?
Hipster girl: Oh, yeah.
–Knitting Factory, Leonard Street
Overheard by: Sarah Doogs
Fratboy: This one is awesome. Chicks love it….or, um, dudes, if you’re into that kind of thing.
Suit: I am, thank you.
Fratboy: Awesome. Good save, huh?
Suit: Yeah. Thanks for the recommendation.
Fratboy: Anytime.
–Vintage New York, 93rd & Broadway
Girl: Why do they have to be so rude here?
Guy: I feel like I’ve been gang raped with a 12 inch loaf.
–Subway, Rockefeller Center concourse
