Tired of Making Out With Two-Dimensional Losers

Girl wearing 3-D glasses: Dude, I wish I could go through life three beers deep and wearing these things.
Friend: Yeah, you'd make out with everyone.

–W Lounge, Fashion Week

Headline by: Karl

Runners-Up:
· “I Wear My 3-D Glasses at Night…” – Lisa K
· “It’d Be Like the Penis Is Coming Right at You!” – Joeritos
· “Megan’s Parents Would Come to Regret Taking Her to the Hannah Montana 3-D Movie” – Claire
· “So Basically Normal, But With Glasses” – Ross
· “The Bush Twins Can Finally Be Themselves” – Svenn Diagram

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on November 27, 2008
Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Friends, Girls, Headline Contest Winners, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Parades & Festitivites, Wishes & desires

Wouldn't Want to Rumple His Couture

Woman #1: He has been acting more and more gay lately.
Woman #2: Well, he does work in fashion PR.
Woman #1: I love it. It just makes me want to hug him more.
Woman #2: It actually makes me want to hug him less.

–F Train

Posted on November 3, 2008
Fashion, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Women

I'd Totally Punch Him If My Triceps Weren't Sore from All the Gold-Digging

Mom with stroller: It's not the strippers I'm mad about, it's the 1,200 dollars.
Friend: Totally.
Mom with stroller: He could have bought me the diamond earrings I've been wanting with that.
Friend: Oh, the little diamond studs you keep talking about? I love those.

–7th Ave & Bleecker

Overheard by: John E

Posted on October 20, 2008
Default, Fashion, Friends, Moms, Money & Class, West Village, Wishes & desires

Ad: My Scent? “Crush” by Pussi

Girl #1, about friend walking by: Oh my god, you smell so good, is that Rush by Gucci?
Girl #2: No, that's me!
Girl #1: Ohhh.

–Lafayette & Grand

Overheard by: j

Posted on October 16, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compliments, Default, Fashion, Girls, Little Italy, Questions, Sensory Experiences

Three Blind Wednesday One-Liners

Homeless man, watching cute little mouse: That mouse is aggressive! It'll attack you if provoked.

–Central Park

Concerned Long Island tween, pointing at a rat in the tracks: Oh my god, how did a squirrel get in here? Seriously, we should help it.

–W 4th St Station

Father to daughters, with head cocked up listening to dark void in the platform: Hear that, girls? The rats are playing.

–96th & Broadway Subway Platform

Overheard by: sueinthecity

Random blond chick: I don't wanna be the fricking mouse.

–Asian Restaurant, Chinatown

Dude: I was raised with rodents.

–Hunter College

Eight-year-old Italian kid to another: Hey, you know that bracelet you got at the feast? The next day I saw a mouse with it around his neck, swear to god!

–Lorimer & Maujer, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Natalya Petrovna

Posted on October 8, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Boys, Central Park, Chinatown, Dads, Education, Fashion, Girls, Guys, Homeless, Hunter, Italians, Kids, Men, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Stupidity, Tweens, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

White Guys Are Held to a Pretty Low Standard

Man holding ankle boot and laughing: This is fashion?
Offended fashionista: How many pairs of Crocs do you own?

–Barneys Co-Op

Posted on September 20, 2008
Clothing, Default, Fashion, Fashionistas, Men, Questions, Store

Roger's Often Baffled by the Unexpected Appearance Of Headgear

Old hipster walking by group of young hipsters, waiting at an apartment door: Oh, look at you all! Didya get all dressed up to come to the city? “Oh look at me, I'm a little hipster, look at me, I'm so pretty! I'm so special and pretty! Look at me! Oh! I'm waiting to get into a hipster party!”
Young hipster #1: Look at you man, you're all by yourself.
Young hipster #2: And you're wearing a fucking cowboy hat.

–1st & 13th

Overheard by: Can't we all just get along?

Posted on September 11, 2008
Comebacks, Default, Fashion, Hipsters, Insults, Old People, Union Square and East Village

Or He's One Of Those Antebellum Southern Reptiles

Three-year-old girl, pointing to a page in Eric Carle's The Mixed-Up Chameleon: Why does he have an umbrella?
Dad: Some people have to wear umbrellas all the time, otherwise they'll get lots of freckles or end up with squamous cell carcinoma and die.

–B Train

Overheard by: sometimesdee

Posted on September 5, 2008
Cancer, Dads, Death, Default, Fashion, Girls, Kids, On the Subway, Questions, Weirdness

You Really Want to Go There, Little Miss No-Boobs?

Seven-year-old girl to her mom: I have more jewelry than you! I have more jewelry than you!
Mother: Like many things in life, this is not a competition.
Girl: Of course it's a competition!

–West Broadway & Broome Street, SoHo

Overheard by: And I thought people would be quoting me…

Posted on August 30, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Fashion, Girls, Kids, Moms, Soho

Just Be Thankful Your Imagination Stops There

Geeky kid #1: So they were talking about cremation, did you hear that for $10,000 you can get your ashes turned into a diamond, like for your nearest and dearest to wear?
Geeky kid #2: Imagine if your wife wore it while she fucked some other guy!
Geeky kid #1: It? Imagine if she wore you.
Geeky kid #2: The wench.

–L Train

Overheard by: Bea 61

Posted on August 3, 2008
Death, Default, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Fashion, Infidelity, Kids, Marriage, Money & Class, On the Subway, Weirdness