Fashion

Girl on cell passing by: That sounds great, honey, but there is no possible reason you'd need to shove an entire lime in the garbage disposal.

–Lafayette & Houston

(tourist lady eats banana)
Ferry bag lady: Why are you eating that banana? You know it's not healthy for you. They say you need potassium but you don't need no potassium. You don't want no banana, it's nasty and mushy. Throw it out. Throw out that banana. You don't want no nasty mushy banana.
(bug-eyed tourist lady continues to eat banana)

–Staten Island Ferry Terminal

Five-year-old girl, sitting in the grocery cart next to her twin sister, as their mother pushes them around the store: You're squishing me like a pineapple! You're squishing me like a pineapple, I said!

–9th St Market

Overheard by: Elle Woods (Chelsea Huckabay)

Old man with Boston accent to prepubescent boy: Squirt that in your nose and it's like you have a blueberry bush.

–42nd & 5th

Overheard by: Anniemal

20-year-old bakery chick: I was in Brooklyn yesterday on 18th Ave. There were three Mexicans on bikes. One was dressed like a banana. So then I walked up to him and I was like: "Dude, you're dressed like a banana and you're on a bike, that's awesome. Can I take a picture of you?"

–Bakery, Staten Island

Overheard by: Traci Cuccurullo

Loud girl: I never wash my fruit! I eat things that have fallen on the floor! And that's why I don't have allergies!

–375 Hudson St.

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Conductor: Put your purse inside the train. I said: "purse inside the train." Inside the train, that's no real Chanel!

–E Train

Overheard by: cran

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to be delayed for a couple of minutes, the wheels keep slipping. We aren't working with the best equipment here.

–LIRR

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are sorry for the inconvenience and the delays. While expressing your dislike for the inconvenience, please do not curse, spit, or throw things at the conductor and train crew.

–V-train

Conductor: Keep on moving, don't block the aisles… Keep on moving, don't block the aisles… There's plenty of empty seats in the back cars. Don't just stare at the people next to you.

–Metro North Train

Conductor: Uptown! Uptown! Uptown express! You know where I'm going! Don't pretend like you don't know where I'm going!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Jamie

Conductor: Please walk forward for more seats. The front of the train is empty. It's like the freaking promised land up here!

–NJ Transit

Conductor, over loudspeaker: This is the A train making local stops on the F line. Next stop, who knows!?

–A Train

Overheard by: Schechter

Street vendor: Designer jewelry. Five dollars.
Woman: Really? What designer?
Street vendor: Who knows.

–52st & 5th

Bossy, fanny-pack-wearing tourist lady: No, no… That map is wrong. We want Broadway and it’s … That way! [Points emphatically toward 8th avenue and storms away.]

–West 47th b/w Broadway & 8th Avenue

Overheard by: tinyfoo

Tourist, whispering to friend: There are a lot of Jewish people in here.

–B&H Photo

Tourist girl: Dad! Look! It’s Times Square! Walk this way.

–Rector St & Broadway

Overheard by: Jax

Tourist lady peering in shop window: Ooooh, calendars! Ooooh, t-shirts! Oh, we’re gonna have to come back here!

–48th & Broadway

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Tourist: Oh honey, look at this purse I bought! It’s a real coach bag and it was so cheap. I bought it on Canal street. You should see all of the Gucci, Prada, and Louis Vuitton they’ve got. I can’t believe you can get the real thing for so cheap.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Johanna

Tourist, in disbelief: People are buying shoes at 11 o’clock at night!

–33rd & Seventh

Overheard by: Gasp!

Obnoxious Latino #1: Man, that guy was such a faggot! With that mohawk and those gay-ass glasses.
Obnoxious Latino #2: Hey, I’m wearing the same glasses.
[Silence.]

–1 Train

Girl #1: What kind of man wears a toe ring?
Girl #2: Umm… he was talking to himself and fumbling with something in his butt.
Girl #1: Yeah, but he had a blackberry.

–A Train

Overheard by: Cynthia

Girl, to boyfriend: And that’s why you can never trust the emotions or actions of someone whose star sign is ruled by mars.

–20th & 7th

Overheard by: ALR

Barista to waiter: I don’t mind that I spent $130 on a pair of Oakleys cause I can look at the sun for a while and it won’t hurt my eyes.

–Long Island Railroad

Overheard by: Chris K.

Baby boomer hippie to college student: Dude, I just got me some of that Afghani shit. Took me to the mooooooon and back, baby!

–Washington Square

Overheard by: Summer

Doonesbury looking dude: Imagine what life would be like without the sun.

–40th & Park Ave

Overheard by: Ledbetter

Girl, being shaken awake by friend: But Rachel, where are you going to put the black hole?

–A Train

Bum on street, to several protesters passing by in pure white bio-hazard suits: Aw… You people wait right there, I’m a run and get some cigarettes then I’m comin’ to the moon with ya’ll. Seriously… Wait.

–45 & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Comack

Girlfriend: Oh, by the way, we have to return those things to Macy’s.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because I need to buy maternity clothes!
Boyfriend: Or we could buy me an airplane ticket, because I’m leaving you.

–F train, Jay St

Overheard by: not certain he was joking

Guy, after passing a lingerie boutique: Oh, and by the way, that underwear store is bad luck! Every girlfriend I’ve bought something for from there dumped me the next day!
Friend: Yeah, man, it’s like a big steaming pile of bad luck.

–Thompson St, Soho

Overheard by: You have bad taste

Girl #1: I can’t wait ’til we get to college. We’re going to be different people. And, like, we’re going to be the best dressed people on campus. We’re gonna be awesome!
Girl #2: Yeah. No one will dress better than us!
Girl #1: Yeah. So awesome!

–Macy’s dressing room, 34th St

Overheard by: evie24