Worker #1: Wasn’t he friends with Angelo?
Worker #2: No, Angelo hated him. Angelo hired two bums to beat the crap out of him around the corner.
–32nd & 2nd
Worker #1: Wasn’t he friends with Angelo?
Worker #2: No, Angelo hated him. Angelo hired two bums to beat the crap out of him around the corner.
–32nd & 2nd
Woman who endured rush hour: Wow, what a rush! That was just like Frogger!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Amy D M
Girl watching friend play Frogger: Oh, I remember how to play! You’re supposed to avoid the cars!
–Barcade, Williamsburg
Overheard by: champ
Dude: I’m telling you, I was put on this Earth just to play fuckin’ Tetris.
–W 13th St
Overheard by: Lauren L
Little Dominican boy to classmate: Why you had to tell on me, white boy, version-one-of-Donkey-Kong?!
–PS 8, Washington Heights
Overheard by: Mona
Law student: He’s a good professor, but he doesn’t have that Mortal Kombat instinct. You know — finish him!
–Sammy’s Noodle Shop, 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Professor: If any of you are sad about Anna Nicole, see me after class. I’ll give you a bitch slap.
–NYU
Family man: We watched two guys fight to the death over a parking space, and then we went to the Ice Capades.
–Central Park, W 72nd
Overheard by: Rachel
Conductor: There will be no fighting on my train! Y’all gonna make me miss my lunch!
–N train
Overheard by: Shawnito
Hobo to entire platform: You’ve seen cripple fights. You’ve seen hobo boxing. Now prepare yourselves for rich white assholes pushing to get on the train. [Train pulls in.] Briefcases may be used as shields. Good luck, folks.
–4/5 platform, Union Square
Overheard by: Orson
Father holding daughter’s hand: You can’t just kick people when you don’t get what you want, Victoria.
–Mott & Canal St
Overheard by: Marie
Teacher: See that guy in the mural? See how many muscles he has? If he wanted to, he could kick your ass. Look at Galileo. Even Galileo could kick your ass!
–Brooklyn Tech High School
Overheard by: Liz
Six-year-old: If you go to my school, you get yo’ ass jumped.
–107th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Emily B.
Guy with long dreadlocks: Why you keep bothering me, man? Why can’t you just go away?
Guy with short dreadlocks: Why don’t you tell your mama to go away?
Guy with long dreadlocks: Awww, man, why you gotta bring my mama into this?! [To woman in ticket booth] Hey, lady! Woman! Call the law, man!
Woman in ticket booth: Excuse me?
Guy with long dreadlocks: The law, man! Call the law!
–In front of ticket machines, Union Station
Overheard by: didn’t want to get involved
Wailing six-year-old boy: But whyyy?!
Mom: Well, I know, honey, but kick him in the shins, don’t kick him in the balls!
–Prince & Broadway
Black girl: My daddy says I can’t fight her because she’s pregnant.
Wigger chick: Her face ain’t pregnant, is it?
–Subway bathroom, 4th & 6th
Subway announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please be aware that there is no V train service on the weekends… That’s V as in ‘vomit.’
–57th St station
Overheard by: heroine in iniquity
Gotti-looking girl: Yeah, and I wasn’t having a good time so she was like, ‘Why didn’t you just get drunk and throw up on him?’ and I was like, ‘Because I’m not gonna stoop to his level. I’ll just have someone break his legs.’
–LIRR Hicksville
Overheard by: Sarah
Conductor: No fighting, no throwing up.
–LIRR train
Overheard by: Kristen
Drunk frat boy: Yo, man, what’s your poison tonight? What do you feel like tasting on the way up, bro? Do you want a puke jager? Do you want a puke jager?
–PATH to Christopher St
Metal guy to friend: I’m tellin’ you, if you gotta throw up you can’t beat pancakes and syrup.
–Burger King, 34th St
Overheard by: Glad I was done eating
Irish girl: It was a great night! No one peed in the shower, no one puked in their purse… None of that ever happened!
–168th & Ft Washington Ave
Black guy: Yo, you know what ‘FUBU’ stand for?
Black girl: Yeah, ‘For Us, by Us.’
Black guy: Naw, it stand for ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: It does not! It’s ‘For Us, by Us’!
Black guy: That’s what they want you to think. Everybody knows it’s ‘Farmers Used to Beat Us.’
Black girl: There ain’t no ‘T’ in ‘FUBU’!
Black guy: That don’t matter.
Black girl: You ign’ant, nigga!
–Midtown
Overheard by: Greg Reeves
Preppy boy #1: Let’s fight to the death!
Preppy boy #2: Okay, I’ll go get my gun!
–6th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: courtney
Boy: Yeah, I mean, the only way that I’d be pissed is if you stabbed me…
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Dude: He threw a bagel at me — knocked me the fuck out!
–15th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Michael Pantozzi
Guidance counselor mediating a conflict between a flock of tween girls: Okay, Yamira* can still go on the field trip, because she told the truth about punching Janalin* in the face.
–PS 8, Washington Heights
Little boy: Smack that, lalalala! [Smacks brother in stroller.] Smack that, lalalala! [Smacks brother again.] Smack that! Lalalala!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: amused sales associate
Guy on cell: Yeah, after that hug I wanted to punch her.
–Walgreens, Union Square
