Food

20-something male tourist #1: Dude, there are so many restaurants around here.
20-something male tourist #2: Weird.

–46th St between 8th & 9th Ave

Old white husband: What are lamb chops?
Old black wife: I used to buy them for dinner all the time.
Old white husband: What are they?
Old black wife: I used to buy them for you!
Old white husband: I don’t remember, tell me what they are.
Old black wife: They’re like pork chops, but made out of lamb.

–D train

Overheard by: daniela

Woman: We've got snacks in the office, if you like. It's very convenient having Costco nearby.
Man: Oh, that's great! I just recently discovered BJs with my girlfriend.

–Sunset Park, Brooklyn

Veggie-curious girl: I like to get this really great dressing and then add all sorts of interesting vegetables.
Supportive friend: Like what?
Veggie-curious girl: Tofu!

–Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: receptionist

Headline by: EddieA

Runners-Up:
· “And Croutons!” – Vanessa
· “Gesundheit!” – Sandy Paws
· “If Regan Can Make Ketchup a Vegetable, Why the Fuck Not?” – Humberto
· “It’s the Other White Vegetable” – do2na
· “Sometimes I Get Crazy and Add Bacon Bits!” – Botticus
· “The Vitamin Deficiency Related Death Was Really No Surprise” – Proletariat

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Girl #1: That fuckin’ sandwich was good as shit!
Girl #2: I know, right?!

–38th & 8th

Lady: Oh, Coca-Cola! I guess you don’t have gastrointeritis!
Girl: Uh, actually I was going to use it to cook.
Checkout guy: Yeah, you can cook with Coke. You don’t have to just drink it.

–Jefferson Market, 6th Avenue

Overheard by: Nicole J

Black girl #1 to large group of friends: It's like a slave ship here.
Black girl #2: First thing we need to do is get a gyro.

–Penn Station at Rush Hour

Columbia freshman #1: One time, in high school, I found a bag of peanuts that said ‘May contain peanuts.’
Columbia freshman #2: Why, are you allergic?

–Duane Reade, 111th and Broadway

Overheard by: Fudd

Dad: Wow! Look at all these paintings! Right here in the open, even if it rains. Pretty cool, huh?
Eight-year-old: I want my ice cream. You said I could have ice cream.

–Governors Island

Very heavy ten-year-old boy, yelling excitedly: I heard they have bacon flavored popcorn in Florida! I love the south!

–Flushing, Queens

Hipster girl on cell: The entire state of Mississippi isn't a complete waste of space, even though it seems like it right now.

–Atlantic & Smith, Brooklyn Heights

Wino, grabbing can of beer: Here's 15 cents. I'll get the rest of it for you today. I promise! I'm from Georgia, I know how this shit works!

–Deli at 33rd & 7th

Overheard by: EthanK

Loud girl to friend: Maria? Maria's not dead, Maria's in Virginia?

–BxM10 Bus

Overheard by: bxgirl

Girl to boyfriend: I mean, when someone says they're throwing an "Iowa State Fair"-themed wedding, you don't think twice about going!

–30th Ave, Astoria