Woman with take-out container: Excuse me, do you mind if I eat this here?
Woman sitting next to her: You wouldn't be asking me that question if you were from New York.
–LIRR
Woman with take-out container: Excuse me, do you mind if I eat this here?
Woman sitting next to her: You wouldn't be asking me that question if you were from New York.
–LIRR
Airport worker #1: Did you hear about that old black fireman in L? Called himself ‘The Big Dog,’ so the other white fire fighters snuck dog food into his food and then teased him with barking noises for weeks after…
Airport worker #2: No.
Airport worker #1: He sued for discrimination and got, like, a million dollars.
Airport worker #2: That reminds me, we’ve thought about sneaking you cat food.
–JFK
Overheard by: AJ
Girl #1: Hey look! (whispering) It says “poopy” right there.
Girl #2: (goes to the counter and looks at the sign) That doesn’t say “poopy”! It says “poppy”!
Girl #1: Really!? Oh my god! That’s so funny!
Girl #2: At first I thought you said they were “booby bagels”.
–Bay Ridge Ave & 4th Ave
Overheard by: Azzerrr
Woman selling crap on side of road: Come on, let’s go get high, so you can make love to me, so we can get something to eat. Come on.
–Fulton and Gold
Mom: You poor hungry boy… I’ll make dinner for you as soon as we get home.
Six-year-old son, sullenly: Okay.
Mom: Do you want macaroni and cheese? How about pasta? I can make you those little nuggets. [Son shakes his head.] Oh, is it the other kind of hunger? Do you have to poop? [Son nods.]
–Elevator, Washington Heights
Overheard by: Morgan
Girl: My new roommate gets freaked out by my composting. She’s like, why are there egg shells and coffee grounds in this bin?
Boy: She has other things to be more freaked out about, like her mustache.
–B54 Bus
Girl: What does your peanut butter taste like?
Friend, eating peanut butter: Was that a come-on?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy #1: That’s so gangsta, bro!
Guy #2: What’s so gangsta about it? They’re just feeding monkeys.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Angelina Salgado
Dude #1: I really need to start acting like a bitch more often.
Dude #2: [Silence.]Dude #1: At least that way I’ll get more free dinners.
–57th & 10th
Overheard by: Sam
Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer!
–49th & 6th
