Woman selling crap on side of road: Come on, let’s go get high, so you can make love to me, so we can get something to eat. Come on.
–Fulton and Gold
Woman selling crap on side of road: Come on, let’s go get high, so you can make love to me, so we can get something to eat. Come on.
–Fulton and Gold
Mom: You poor hungry boy… I’ll make dinner for you as soon as we get home.
Six-year-old son, sullenly: Okay.
Mom: Do you want macaroni and cheese? How about pasta? I can make you those little nuggets. [Son shakes his head.] Oh, is it the other kind of hunger? Do you have to poop? [Son nods.]
–Elevator, Washington Heights
Overheard by: Morgan
Girl: My new roommate gets freaked out by my composting. She’s like, why are there egg shells and coffee grounds in this bin?
Boy: She has other things to be more freaked out about, like her mustache.
–B54 Bus
Girl: What does your peanut butter taste like?
Friend, eating peanut butter: Was that a come-on?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy #1: That’s so gangsta, bro!
Guy #2: What’s so gangsta about it? They’re just feeding monkeys.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Angelina Salgado
Dude #1: I really need to start acting like a bitch more often.
Dude #2: [Silence.]Dude #1: At least that way I’ll get more free dinners.
–57th & 10th
Overheard by: Sam
Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer!
–49th & 6th
Hobo: Spare some change, miss?
Hipster girl: I have some food. It’s still warm, you want it?
Hobo: No, thanks. I’m on a special diet. I don’t eat food.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna Wolinsky
Friend #1: It smells like green beans on this train!
Friend #2: Your mom smells like green beans.
Friend #1: (pauses) I know.
–F Train
Guy: Yeah, they say that now in France they’re banning Muslim women from wearing overalls.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: H. Chan
Black woman on cell: …and then she says to me “I like that song!” and I go, “Yeah, well I like fish and avocado peels.”
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Fernando Taveras
Guy: If you was dead, then you’d know what I’m talkin’ ’bout.
–J train
