Wednesday One-Liner Ink

Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Lyssa

Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.

–Prince & Lafayette

Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?

–D Train

Overheard by: 4-dumb

Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jas

Posted on July 22, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Families, Friends, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Insects, Insults, Kids, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Tattoos, The Village, Times Square, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Wiggers, Wishes & desires

She Also Thinks Andrew Jackson Is Michael and Jermaine's Brother

Woman (reading Playbill before theater play: Oh, look Sharon*, someone's going to play one of the Marx brothers.
Friend: Which one?
Woman: Karl Marx.

–Lincoln Center

Posted on July 19, 2018
Friends, Idiots, Names, Stupidity, Theater, Theater & Dance, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

They Should Start Selling Souvenir Bandanas

Tourist girl: Oh my god, did you see them? Did you see the lesbians?
Bored guy friend: Yes.
Tourist girl: That was so cool!

–1st & York

Overheard by: Not quite as excited

Posted on July 18, 2018
Compliments, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Questions, The Village, Tourists

One-Liners Are All Wednesday Can Afford

11-year-old girl: Yo mamma's broke cuz she spend all her money on rhinestones and cigarttes!

–Riverside Branch Library

Overheard by: always listening

Polite lady: Go straight down that way and cut through the projects–don't worry, they're mixed income–and you'll see it when you come out on A.

–1st Ave & 5th St.

Overheard by: Mrqs

Old lady waiting for the bathroom: How long do people stay in toilets? Jesus! It's a public toilet! There are all these people from the streets that come in, and they always pee on the floor. Well, that's what happens when you're poor.

–NY Public Library

Overheard by: Avery

Homegirl to friend: So she was like "oh, my name's Diamond. And this is my sister, her name's Ruby. Our daddy named us after stuff he can't afford." I was like, shit, if that was the case, my daddy woulda call us "lights" and "gas."

–Prospect Park

Nerdish teen: What the hell was a warlock doing in a dungeon when he had no money?

–C Train

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on July 17, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Directions, Family Ties, Friends, Girls, Kids, Library, Money & Class, Names, Nerds, Old People, On the Subway, Parks, Pee, Questions, Smoking, Teens, The Village, Video Games, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

In My Day, You Had to Walk Two Miles Barefoot to School and a Coke Bottle Sufficed As a Dildo

Girl: There’s a new sex toy — it’s really advanced… You can choose how much body fat you want, change the skin color, everything.
Guy #1: Wait, do you inflate it?
Girl: No! It’s like a dead person you just fuck.
Guy #2: Wouldn’t it be a lot of work for girls?
Guy #1: Dude, she can just sit there.
Guy #2: But still, she has to hop! Like, hop up and down.
Guy #1: Dude, if it’s that advanced, I’m sure the cock moves.
Guy #2: Oh, true. Yeah, it probably has a boner.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: freckles

Posted on July 7, 2018
Dildos and Vibrators, Friends, Washington Square Park

Ever Since They Stopped Using Asbestos in Beanie Babies

White guy: FAO Schwarz used to be a fun place to hang out.
Black guy: Yeah.
White guy: They’ve changed it, though. It doesn’t smell the same.

–57th & 6th

Overheard by: Mark F.

Posted on July 6, 2018
Friends, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Retail Therapy, Scents of the City

Close, but No Cigar

NYU guy #1: But wait, doesn’t Fidel Castro own the Dallas Mavericks?
NYU guy #2: No, no, you’re thinking of Mark Cuban.
NYU guy #1: Oh. What a coincidence.
NYU guy #2: Um, not really.

–Waverly Pl