Wednesday One-Liners Go to a Donner Party

Honest woman: I have no maternal instinct. If I had young, I would eat them.

–Artepasta Restaurant

Overheard by: subway phantom

Girl: That wasn't my idea! My idea was cannibalism!

–College of Staten Island

Overheard by: Green Star

Girl to another: Can I nibble your butt for a minute?

–Hunter High School

Overheard by: uh oh

Mets fan, yelling at opposing team's right fielder: Don't you look at me, number 47! I'll eat your eyeballs!

–Citifield

Overheard by: Jonathan Abraham

Guy on cell: What do you think about "Horace W. Cannibal?"

–6th & 27th

Overheard by: Eve

Posted on September 23, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Babies, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hunter, Men, Names, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Staten Island, Street, Threats, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Women

Wednesday One-Liner Pong

Frat dude: Mickey Mantle is the one dead person I would totally bring back to life to have gay sex with.

–Yankee Stadium Museum

Overheard by: sternie

30-something fratboy to wife: He still gives me mixtapes like we're still in high school!

–65th & Broadway

Overheard by: ENGLEBERT

Young frat boy to friend, deadpan: I came on her face. Then her mom walked in.

–59th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Josie

Drunk frat boy trying to pick up a girl wearing a red and white striped shirt: I'm sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to tell you…I found Waldo.

–88th & 1st

Fratboy on phone: When was the baby born? (pause) Sick, dude!

–Penn Station

Posted on September 23, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Books & Writing, Couples, Cum, Death, Drunks, Frat Boys, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penn Station, Pick-up Lines, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, School and studying, Sex, Street, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Yankee Stadium, Yankees

Weirdest. Scavenger Hunt. Ever.

Obese teen girl: Are you a lesbian?
Skinny teen girl: Why does everyone keep asking me that?

–Central Park

Posted on September 20, 2009
Central Park, Fat People, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Parks, Questions, Sexuality, Skinny People, Teens

Victoria Does Her Best to Represent All Three Groups

Queer #1: He's just so hot.
Queer #2: Yeah, he's so gorgeous that everyone wants to have sex with him. Men, women, dogs… They all want to have sex with David Beckham.

–Bar 89, SoHo

Overheard by: undercovah sistah

Posted on September 15, 2009
About Celebrities, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Gays and Lesbians, Man's Best Friend, Queer guys, Sex, Soho, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners, with Tongue.

College girl to friend, disappointed: You know? I only made out with one of them…

–NYU Dorm

(hobo shakes can with change and interrupts couple in heated makeout session)
Bitchy girlfriend, shrieking: Seriously? Seriously? Are you seriously asking me now? We're in the middle of making out. Seriously?

–Ave B & 7th St

Overheard by: friend of the mole people

Guido to another: When you're makin' out, the next thing you know, you could be bangin'.

–Staten Island

Girl to guy friend: Once you get married, we are never going to be able to make out anymore.

–Houston & Mulberry

Man to friend: It's like that time I saw two women on walkers making out. I love New York!

–45th & 10th

Overheard by: Drunk

Posted on September 9, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Couples, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guidos, Hobos, Infidelity, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Lower East Side, Marriage, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, One-liners, Only in New York, Promiscuity, Questions, Sorority Girls, Staten Island, Street, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Dear Diary, Met the Nicest Girl Today

Black guy to black girl: Are you a lesbian?
Black girl: Ha ha! No.
Black guy: What, you don't like pussy?
Black girl: No.
Black guy: I like pussy, why don't you show me yours?
Latina girl: Sit down.
(black guy sits down, Latina girl puts hands in his pants)

–Uptown 2 Train

Posted on September 7, 2009
Black People, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Latinos, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Vagina

She's Beautiful, but I'm Thin

Woman: So, my boyfriend has been listening to the Dreamgirls soundtrack all week. He loves that Jennifer Hudson song.
Guy friend: He's gay?
Woman: He is not gay.
Guy friend: Yeah, maybe he just thinks Jennifer Hudson is hot.
Woman: Oh god. He is gay!

–23rd & 6th

Posted on September 3, 2009
About Celebrities, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Film, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Music, Physical appearance, Questions, Women

On the Other Hand, “Bjork” Sounds Like a Gay Sex Act

Young gay man: The only woman I would have sex with is Bjork.
Disgruntled friend: What? That's like a lesbian saying she'd go hetero for Andy Dick!

–A Train

Overheard by: trainspotter

Posted on August 27, 2009
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Music, On the Subway, Queer guys, Sex, Sexuality

Yeah, You Have Some Stuck in Your Teeth.

Dirty guy to woman: Damn, baby!
Woman to dirty guy: Nigga, pleez! I eat more pussy then you do!

–Centre & Chambers

Posted on August 23, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Licking, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

Hannah Montana Is Totally Vanilla, Though.

Young woman: She's a gay prostitute!
Friend: Who told you that?
Young woman: Everyone and her mother knows Miley Cyrus is a gay prostitute! Look at her!

–Park Slope

Posted on August 13, 2009
About Celebrities, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Park Slope, Prostitution, Women

Gays and Lesbians