Stoned 20-something hipster #1, on Disney music: Noooo, Robin Hood is so gay!
Stoned 20-something hipster #2, playing “Not in Nottingham”: It is *not* gay! It's honest!
–St. Clemens Church & Theater
Overheard by: emily darwin
Stoned 20-something hipster #1, on Disney music: Noooo, Robin Hood is so gay!
Stoned 20-something hipster #2, playing “Not in Nottingham”: It is *not* gay! It's honest!
–St. Clemens Church & Theater
Overheard by: emily darwin
Coed: When my nipple-hairs pop up, that means I'm done.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo to tiny sexy Asian girl wearing tank top on chilly day: Two nipples for a dime?
–9th Ave & 14th St
Cute gay chick on cell: I am aware that it's pride month, but I still like to keep sharp objects away from my nipples. My gay forefathers did not fight at Stonewall so that I might wear body jewelry.
–4th Ave & 11th St, Brooklyn
Mother to little boy: Those are not meant to be shown in public; nipples are private things.
–A Train
Overheard by: g-lime
Crazy guy, yelling: When I see my nipples in the mirror, I look away!
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Zach Rock Steady
Teenage Guido on cell: The beer is staying in Marine Park. (pause) Yeah, we're going to Rockaway, but the beer is staying in Marine Park. In the alley. My alley! (pause) Yes! You don't understand English, dude!
–Burger King
Overheard by: Laura E.
Guy on cell: I'm always skeptical of people these days who say they want to go out in the Lower East Side. That makes me think they went to Trinity or Duke, and that they suck.
–S. Portland & Fulton
Guy on cell: This is a superficial neighborhood. They'll only hire you if you're young and hot.
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: didn't know my hood was superficial
Tan guy to messenger guy: So what kind of gay are you? Park Slope gay?
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Guy on cell, triumphantly: We're in the Financial District, bitch!
–Financial District
50-something man to friends: Have you heard about Twitter? It's a new way of communicating in short text messages. Each message is called a twoo… No, a tween. No, a twain. No, a twat… No, that's certainly not it.
–Lobby, Off Broadway Theater
Overheard by: another electric guy
Guy with iPhone: I have to twitter! Does the girl with the room above the high line know she's topless?
–The High Line
Woman, while waiting for film to start: Joan Rivers just tweeted.
–Chelsea Clearview Cinemas
Guy on cell: All those food trucks? I'm not into them, but those fucking homosexuals follow them on twitter.
–Waverly Place & MacDougal
Overheard by: Sally
Unassuming hipster with group of girl friends: Sometimes I drink just so I can tweet drunk.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Middle aged woman dressed like a teen, hitting on baseball fan: Your cat could definitely have a twitter page.
–F Train
Gay #1: I'm just nervous about holding the baby.
Gay #2: Haven't you ever held a baby before?
Gay #1: Yes, but not babies that matter!
–Candle Bar, Upper West Side
Overheard by: Jason Bowman
Self-tanned woman on BlackBerry, pushing stroller: I'm gonna puke because you're not here with me!
–American Eagle
Overheard by: liveyourlife
Cheerful woman on cell: Oh yeah, I been getting mad nauseous on this bus! But I ain't putting my face near that toilet back there, nuh-uh. I'd rather get sick all over myself.
–Chinatown Bus to DC
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy waiting for n train: I just want to fucking go home and puke in my own fucking toilet!
–Canal St & Broadway
Woman: I come out of the bathroom after three hours of him barfing, and people think we were having sex! You think I'm that hot at 46 to go shag my boy in the middle of a party? And even if I were, I would have been gone for, what? Like, ten minutes? Max!
–Time Warner Building
Girl to friends: I definitely think gay vomit would be the prettiest.
–Perry & Bleecker
Overheard by: other contenders?
11 year-old girl to dad: Sucking on something automatically makes you gay.
–High Line
Overheard by: Kirby
NYPD detective, working Gay Pride parade: They've been coming out for the last two hours. And they will probably be coming out for another three hours!
–5th Ave & 55th St
Overheard by: Just Visiting…
Not very effeminate gay guy, near extremely effeminate group of pride festers: Suddenly, I don't feel so gay!
–PrideFest, Abingdon Square
Overheard by: proud dad
Man to friend: The problem with getting too buff is that people start to think that you're gay.
–Starbucks
Male fashionista to stranger on bus: And she thought I was gay because I dress well and stuff. (to another passenger) Oh, is that moisturizer? Can I use some?
–Hampton Jitney
Overheard by: Can't imagine why she thought so
Woman handcuffed to man, having romantic picnic with rose petals spilled over a blanket: I didn't think I would be handcuffed to you in a park telling you all of my secrets when I met you in a gay bar!
–Central Park Sheep Meadow
Guy #1: My ass hurts.
Guy #2: The you should stop being so gay.
–Penn Station
Honest woman: I have no maternal instinct. If I had young, I would eat them.
–Artepasta Restaurant
Overheard by: subway phantom
Girl: That wasn't my idea! My idea was cannibalism!
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Girl to another: Can I nibble your butt for a minute?
–Hunter High School
Overheard by: uh oh
Mets fan, yelling at opposing team's right fielder: Don't you look at me, number 47! I'll eat your eyeballs!
–Citifield
Overheard by: Jonathan Abraham
Guy on cell: What do you think about "Horace W. Cannibal?"
–6th & 27th
Overheard by: Eve
Frat dude: Mickey Mantle is the one dead person I would totally bring back to life to have gay sex with.
–Yankee Stadium Museum
Overheard by: sternie
30-something fratboy to wife: He still gives me mixtapes like we're still in high school!
–65th & Broadway
Overheard by: ENGLEBERT
Young frat boy to friend, deadpan: I came on her face. Then her mom walked in.
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Josie
Drunk frat boy trying to pick up a girl wearing a red and white striped shirt: I'm sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to tell you…I found Waldo.
–88th & 1st
Fratboy on phone: When was the baby born? (pause) Sick, dude!
–Penn Station
