HS girl: Man, this school is a ho!
Security guard: Yeah, and you gotta learn how to trick it right to get what you want out of it.
–Bread & Roses High, Harlem
HS girl: Man, this school is a ho!
Security guard: Yeah, and you gotta learn how to trick it right to get what you want out of it.
–Bread & Roses High, Harlem
Slightly drunk kid from Alaska: I realized I had blacked out when I woke up on top of my sister.
–14th St
Overheard by: The Reverend
Young girl on cell: You passed out from him choking you? (pause) Like…does it…um…sting? Did he apologize at least? (pause) Ya know, it's not okay to get so fucked up that you don't know that he's choking you.
–Max Cafe
Overheard by: D to the ana
Loud girl on cell: Oh my god! Don't even worry about hitting on her too much, she was totally blacked out last night!
–Whole Foods Union Square
Overheard by: bildita
Preppy girl: Is "faint" a euphemism for "boner"?
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Diana
Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.
–Q58 Bus
Overheard by: Tom
Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: tomas
Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Jake M
Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.
–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.
Overheard by: CreativeBunny
Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!
–Ave C
Girl #1: My ass is so big!
Girl #2: I know.
Girl #1: You biyatch!
Girl #2: Wow, way to use a four-year-old pop culture reference.
–Guggeheim
Blonde: Yeah, so I talked to him on the phone about three weeks ago, and he was saying how we haven’t chilled ’cause he’s been in and out of court… I don’t know. I wish he’d call.
Brunette: Hey, maybe he’s in jail.
Blonde: Damn… I still didn’t get my lighter back!
–Park Slope
Drunk girl: I'm unzipped and unbuttoned.
Passer by: Ready to go!
–Rubulad, Brooklyn
Headline by: unzipped, but buttoned.
Runners-Up:
· “…To the Bathroom!” – CherryPie
· “…To the STD Clinic” – JuzouShades
· “And Just Like That, Debbie Does New York Was Well on Its Way” – Buck Neked
· “Thunder! Thunder! HO!!!!” – John
· “Why Work for Sex When You Can Grab Low Hanging Fruit?” – the evan
Girl on cell: You're like the male version of me! Of course I want to have sex with you!
–Washington Square Park
Girl: I don't give a shit about your personal life, will anyone in this bar have goddamn sex with me?!
–Naked Lunch, Tribeca
Guy on cell: So anyway, I told her I'd come and fuck her brains out. Wait a minute, I've got another call coming in… (answers) Hi, mom!
–E Train
Gay queen, while female friends take photo of werewolf: It's worth having sex with just because of the foot…
–The Slaughtered Lamb Pub, West Village
Overheard by: Lost on Christmas Day
Girl on phone: I ain't denying you shit, motherfucker! You want to pound my ass? Come over and pound me! You want to fill my mouth with juice? Then fill me with juicy goodness! (pause) Okay, I'll see you later tonight, then.
–W 123rd & 8th Ave
Ferry queer on phone: Everyone looks like the sex they had last night.
–Staten Island
Man on bike: You see those boxes over there?
Freshman girl: The white ones?
Man on bike: Yeah, you see those?
Freshman girl: Yes. Those are white boxes.
Man on bike: And you see the truck over there? With the fridge in it?
Freshman girl: Yes.
Man on bike: Okay, just checking. I thought that's what they wanted us to think. (bikes away)
–Pratt Campus
Overheard by: Pratt student
Postal worker to another: Oh, no, don't worry. You do what you want. It is impossible for them to fire you, girl.
–Tompkins Square Park
Mr. Big, sarcastically on cell: Is there anything else that I can do for you, honey, while I'm out making a living?
–First Class Cabin, American Airlines
Overheard by: Frequent Flyer
Scruffy drunk hipster guy to frumpy drunk hipster girl: That's how girls touch me… at work.
–Cobble Hill Brooklyn
Guy on cell: I really need to give up drugs cause, like, no one will hire me. I'm gonna wait a few weeks and try to get a job at Food Emporium.
–Astor Place
20-something girl to another: See, the thing with sweatshops is, at least they have jobs.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: arielle
Well-dressed gay man to another: Doesn't she know the best part of her job is going through the OfficeMax catalogue to order matching office supplies? That should be the highlight of anyone's day!
–E Train
Overheard by: lk
Lady to another: I'm waxing my crotch whether he likes it or not!
–52nd & Madison
Overheard by: someguyslikethejungle
Preteen: Yo, she bit Mark's crotch!
–66th & Broadway
Overheard by: dan
Girl to another: I don't think he'd like your stiletto heel in his actual crotch. Oh, now your twat is all over the place.
–Olivebridge
Man on cell, noticing, "The Big Penis Book": Hey, I'm at this bookstore and they have this big book of penises… Oh, you have it already? The big book, with the pink cover and crotch on the front? Oh, okay, cool.
–Bookstore, Brookyln
Bimbo: Crotches are always wrong!
–American Apparel Store
