Girl to friend: Then to make up for our fat asses we'll walk all the way back with our frozen yogurt.
Friend: Good idea, we are fat asses.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Rick
Girl to friend: Then to make up for our fat asses we'll walk all the way back with our frozen yogurt.
Friend: Good idea, we are fat asses.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Rick
Boy: If my hand was botoxed, could I hold hot things without getting hurt?
–K-Mart, Astor Place
Drunk douchebag: If I was a gay guy, I totally wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend, unless it was with a hot chick.
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy to another, as smoking hot woman walks by: She's so hot I'd eat the corn out of her poop!
–42nd & Broadway
Guy to dinner date: I hate it when people tag me on Facebook. It's like, I'm in sweat pants! I'm a mess! I just ran three miles, leave me alone… You're gonna tag that?! Like "tap that." You're gonna "tag that"? (pause) What do you think about the waitress, pretty hot huh?
–Diner, Washington Heights
Overheard by: April Marks
Sassy black woman: You think I would have brunch in Harlem? I wouldn't even have lunch in Harlem!
–D Train
Overheard by: laughing
Dramatic girl on cell: But I love you. I would go to Harlem and back for you!
–Starbucks
Girl: Wow, Harlem is like a cultural playground. There are stores and everything.
–Metro-North
Columbia freshman girl: I would never let anybody in Harlem touch my vagina.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meagan
Girl to boy: You're just upset that I kicked you out without shoes, and I didn't give you cab fare.
–Black Bear Lodge, 3rd Ave
Guy, after cab splashed water on him: That cab just jizzed on me!
–Broadway & Eagerly
Waspy queer on cell: No, no, take the subway. Just for the experience. Don't take a cab. Cabs are for spoiled people.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl, yelling into window of off-duty taxi: Fine! We're waiting for the cash cab anyway!
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Heather
Fat girl to friends: You know who I want to be? Motherfucking Rainbow Brite. Bitch had a flying horse.
–29th & 7th
20-something guy, following very loud clap of thunder: By the power of Greyskull!
–Center Boulevard, Long Island City
Overheard by: mixxy5
Hobo, to no one in particular: Find me on the computer; my name's Scooby-Doo.
–Starbucks
Cop to partner: God, working with you is like working with Stewie Griffin. (whiney) Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaan… Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaan!
–Train
Girl, handing boy an iPhone with sleeping screen: Look at this.
Boy #1, tapping all over screen: How do you get this to work?
Girl: Press the button. (boy continues tapping screen) The round button. Press it. (boy continues tapping all over screen) The only button! (boy continues tapping all over screen everywhere except the button)
Boy #2: Wow, dude, you must be awesome with vaginas.
–Mooncakes Foods, Watts & 6th Ave
Man on bike to group of girls on bench: I touch myself at night!
Girls: (applaud)
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Sunny
Infuriated hippie girl: Dad, where did mom put my yoga mat?!
Dad: I… I don't know.
Infuriated hippie girl: She moved the one that I like!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Celeste
Guy: I mean, we're on an island, too.
Girl: Seriously?
–1 Train
