Guy: Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Girl: Huh?
Guy: It means “do you speak Dutch”?
Girl: Ohhhhhh.
–Outside McSorley's Tavern, East Village
Overheard by: bildita
Guy: Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Girl: Huh?
Guy: It means “do you speak Dutch”?
Girl: Ohhhhhh.
–Outside McSorley's Tavern, East Village
Overheard by: bildita
20-something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him.
–Strawberry's, Queens Centre Mall
Overheard by: i like that option…
Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and I've never had them before. I think it must be the time of year or something.
–Hudson River Park
Girl on cell: Well, he slipped me Ecstasy while I was sleeping…
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Guy on cell: That's awesome! (pause) That's awesome! (pause) Dude, that's like reverse Sleepaway Camp!
–27th & 2nd
Overheard by: liz
Nurse: I just want to stop having dreams of him saying "pap-smear pap-smear pap-smear…"
–Columbia University
Overheard by: p y l
NYU girl: I love authentic ethnic food, but not authentic ethnic service. Could you please Americanize your demeanor when you hand me a plate? I like service with a smile.
–Washington Square Park
Emo girl to friend, laughing hysterically, with a huge smile on his face: Stop! You've used up two of my three allotted daily smiles.
–R Train
College boy: We should put them on our penises. So it looks like a smiley face every time we pee.
–Williamsburg
Math teacher, seeing smiley face on board: Is that a penis?
–Hunter College High School
Girl #1: So you just got back from Berlin? What was that like?
Girl #2: Great. It's like two cities.
–NYU
Girl to friends: When I get really thirsty, I get confused whether I'm thirsty or not.
Guy friend: Yeah, that happens.
–110th & Broadway
Boy to girl bending down at her locker: You shouldn't be bending like that, girl.
Girl, yelling after him: You don't tell me how to bend!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl: There are six feet in that bathroom stall! You should check it out.
Employee: Do I look like a sex cop to you?
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Girl: I just wanna go home naked.
Boy: Oh, really?
–6th & 32nd
Guy: I just go to class and go right to sleep anyway. But god, the chairs are so uncomfortable I always have neck cramps when I wake up.
Girl: Ouch, that's so annoying!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: amalthya
Three-year-old boy to mother: Mommy, there is a baby in your stomach that is making you throw up.
–G Train
Guy with hand over friend's mouth, encouraging him not to throw up: No! No! No!
–Q Train
Guy, pleading with girl: Don't go home. (pukes on self) Why do you have to go home?
–32nd St & Madison Ave
Man standing next to woman throwing up: Beans and rice… No, corn.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Julian
