Wednesday One-Liners: Bigger, Longer, Uncut

Guy: And I was thinking how lucky I was not to have had a bris. That guy had like eight of them!

–Thai Restaurant

Overheard by: sara swank

Girl: Wait, are you circumcised? In the penis?

–Wicked Monk, 86th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: christine

Beautiful Latina: But my dad getting circumcised at 57 wasn’t even the funniest thing!

–Dallas BBQ, Upper West Side

Overheard by: Ladle

Teen on cell: So, they were going to uncircumcise it?

–Flatbush Ave & 7th Ave, Brooklyn

Teen girl: Oh my god, my circumcised hot dog!

–The Summit School

Overheard by: Michael

CVS employee on cell: Yo, that nigga be gangsta son, he be gangsta. That nigga be circumcised, he all "what?" that nigga fall down, he be "waah, waah" then be be right back up playing an shit. Yeah, that nigga’s gangsta.

–CVS, 30th Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Robyn

Posted on July 2, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Brooklyn, Circumcision, Girls, Guys, Judaism, Latinos, On Cell, Parents, Penis, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, School, Stupidity, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

Be Sure to Bury Me with My DS

Little girl with Nintendo DS: Mommy, since I can’t sleep in my room tonight, do I still have to help you right now?
Mom: Yes, you can still help.
Little girl: Ugh, fine. Just let me go die.

–Union Square

Posted on July 1, 2008
Death, Default, Girls, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Union Square and East Village

For Your Information, We Need These Jackets for Medicinal Purposes

Waspy girl on cell: No, it’s totally safe up here. I mean there are hipsters on the street.
Passing hipster (to friend wearing Members Only jacket): Is she talking about us?

–125th & Park

Posted on July 1, 2008
Clothing, Default, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, On Cell, Physical appearance, Questions, White People

Storage Space Is a Major Issue in Manhattan

Guy: He is so stupid.
Girl: He isn’t stupid, his brain is full.

–8th St & Greene

Posted on June 30, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, Stupidity, The Village

It’s No Trouble at All, Robin, When I’ve Got the Pussymobile!

Bookseller to black girl: Hey, stop -I want to get with you.
Black girl: You can’t.
Bookseller: Why not?
Black girl: I got to go.
Bookseller: Where you be Friday night?
Black girl: Jersey.
Bookseller: A’ight. I be there.
Black girl: Too far for you.
Bookseller: I’ll travel for pussy. I’m a travellin’ man for pussy.
Bookseller’s friend: You’d go to Jersey for pussy? That’s some crazy desperate shit.

–Washington Place & 6th Ave

Overheard by: JCo

Posted on June 30, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Black People, Coworkers, Default, Girls, Pick-up Lines, Questions, The Village, Travel, Wishes & desires

…It Was Just Age-Appropriate Erotic Play, Mom!

Mother, scolding six-year-old girl: No more kissing until… you’re 27!
Little girl: But…

–74th & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Posted on June 30, 2008
Age/Aging, Default, Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Moms, Parents, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

She Looks Kinda Tough Though

Girl #1: If you could eat anyone, who would it be?
Girl #2: Famous, or people we know?
Girl #1: Ummm… famous. And then people we know.
Girl #2: Gabrielle Reece.
Girl #1: Yeah, good call.

–Cafeteria, 18th & 7th

Posted on June 30, 2008
About Celebrities, Default, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Weirdness

Boys and Girls Are Different

Girl #1: God, I hate professional basketball. The other night I was hanging out with some guys and they were like: “The playoffs are on!” and I was like: “Yea, so is The Hills.”
Girl #2 (disgusted): Ugh, you watch that?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Actually, so do I.

–MJ Armstrong’s Public House

Posted on June 29, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Gripes, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Sports, TV

Madonna Did Not Heed the Old Hobo’s Advice

Hobo: Hello.
Girl: Um… Hello.
Hobo: (gives girl some coins and smiles) You look like a nice girl. Don’t become a whore.
Girl: Um… Thanks, I guess.

–6 Train

Overheard by: April

Posted on June 28, 2008
Advice, Default, Girls, Hobos, Jobs & Careers, Nice People, On the Subway, Prostitution, Weirdness

A Gift That Keeps on Giving

13-year-old girl: Oh my god, you and Isabel have a new inside joke?
Friend: Oh my god, you check my Facebook wall like everyday, don’t you?
13-year-old girl: Yeah, I do. Didn’t you see that I sent you a new bumper sticker? It says “I respect your sluttiness.”

–Darkened Bathroom, Bat Mitzvah Party

Posted on June 28, 2008
Default, Facebook, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Questions, Stall Spies, Teens, Weirdness