Mother: Oh, guess what, honey? Debbie’s having a baby!
Six-year-old daughter: She’s going to be a horrible mother.
–The Met
Mother: Oh, guess what, honey? Debbie’s having a baby!
Six-year-old daughter: She’s going to be a horrible mother.
–The Met
Girl #1, about a professor: Is he scary?
Girl #2: Yeah, but I can totally see myself making out with him.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: bling bling
Respectably sober hipster: So, I’m interested, what is your ethnicity?
Inebriated Asian girl: Actually, I’m drunk!
–The Levee, N3 & Berry
Overheard by: zp
Douchebag trying to get on an over-crowded train: Move in!
Annoyed lady: There’s no more room!
Glib red-headed chick: It’s a subway, not a clown car!
–4 Train
Chick: My tongue was in somebody’s ass? Whose ass?
Dude: I dunno. That’s just what they said…
–92nd & 3rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: BillyBlog
Little girl: Daddy, what’s that building?
Harried dad: The Goldman-Sachs building, I think, in Jersey City.
Little boy: What town is that on top of the hill?
Harried dad: Union city.
Little girl: What are they building there?
Harried dad: Condos. Jesus, will you two turn around? I didn’t pay $45 for you to look at New Jersey.
–NY Waterway Ferry
Overheard by: Atlantic13
Young girl playing with blocks at a doctor’s waiting room: And my teacher is mad gay. Mad gay.
Mother: Why do you say that?
Young girl: He just is. And like, whatever. I don’t care about gay people, but like I don’t want a gay teacher. And what’s even worse: He’s a virgin.
Mother: Lot’s of people are virgins, sweetie.
Young girl: Whatever, that’s just pathetic.
–Coney Island Ave, Brooklyn
Six-year-old girl #1: I’m going to write them a very stern letter about this!
Six-year-old girl #2: Who?
Six-year-old girl #1: Global warming!
Six-year-old girl #2: Global warming’s not a person, fart-face.
–Court & Degraw St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Global Warming, the person
Schoolgirl #1: She just kept going on about chewing cunts in class.
Schoolgirl #2: Cud, you dumbass! Cows don’t chew cunt.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Manic Mouse
Girl: I met this really hawt guy last night.
Freind: Really? What did he look like?
Girl: He was like kinda shortish but not really, and his eyes were like… Wow! And his skin was like really flesh colored.
Freind: Oh my gawd! I think I know him!
–Brodway & Wall Street
