Girl #1: What’s a blow job?
Girl #2: [looks at her strangely then laughs] are you seriously asking that?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: We’re gonna have a long discussion later…
–231st St
Overheard by: Adrian
Girl #1: What’s a blow job?
Girl #2: [looks at her strangely then laughs] are you seriously asking that?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: We’re gonna have a long discussion later…
–231st St
Overheard by: Adrian
Girl #1: Let’s go to a karaoke bar!
Girl #2: Are you shitting me? My voice sounds like a cat being anally raped!
–East 6th, between 1st Ave and Ave A
Girl: So you kept sleeping with him after he told you?
Friend: Yeah. I mean, he couldn’t have been that gay… We were having sex!
–Cafe Lafayette, Brooklyn
Cab driver, to girl crossing the street when red hand signal is on: What are you doing!!?? [honks horn repeatedly.]Girl, taking her time crossing: Yeah, Yeah. So your horn blows, does your mother?!
–38th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Nic
Four-year-old girl screaming: IT IS MY MONEY AND I WANT IT BACK!
Shockingly calm but exhausted Dad: No Sarah, it is OUR money.
Sarah [chanting over and over while stomping her feet.]: IT IS MY MONEY! I WANT IT BACK!
–Bank, Madison Ave & E 65th
Overheard by: Christina
Girl to friend: That’s the difference between you and me: I have camp and you have sex.
–Bard High School Early College
Female commuter to male commuter after he accused her of pushing onto train: Just be grateful you had someone to rub against on a Friday night.
–6 train
Overheard by: Carol
Bearded dude: If you can’t tell me within five seconds the most number of fingers you’ve ever had in a woman at one time, I don’t want to talk to you about sex.
–Whiskey Park, Central Park South
Overheard by: Argopelter
Guy on cell, talking to someone’s voicemail: Hi, it’s Reacharound. I’m on my way to the library, but let me know if you want to get dinner later.
–Houston & Sullivan
Overheard by: lish
Chick: Actually, I can’t think of anything that’s not a metaphor for sexual awakening.
–Starbucks, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Blonde: You know what I just learned? G-E-O-R-G isn’t pronounced ‘George’ — it’s pronounced ‘gay-something.’
–49th & Broadway
Overheard by: It’s too cold for stupidity
Fag hag to queer pal: It’s like, we’re like… cotillion-izing!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: jaded library dweller
Ghetto chick: Yo, he is datin’ Sheryl now. I told him, ‘Tell me when you kiss her.’ He was all, ‘Why?’ so I said, ‘So I know not to kiss her!’ I’m bilingual, yo.
–L train, 3rd Ave stop
Overheard by: katiebeans
Loud woman: That is ‘conniving’ with a capital ‘K’!
–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave
Angry wife to husband: You are so patronistic. I seriously can’t stand how fucking patronistic you are.
–56th & 5th
15-year-old girl to group of friends: I be takin’ AP English this year, yo. I the only one in that motherfucker that don’t be lookin’ like they be deliverin’ yo’ egg rolls when they ain’ts in school an’ shit.
–210th St & Bainbridge Ave
Overheard by: gutterlush
Angry woman to friend: I have a contention with the way people pronounce my daughter’s name. I did not name my daughter ‘Lady Nasty’! I named my baby girl ‘La Dynasty.’
–JFK
Overheard by: The REAL Lady Nasty
Girl #1: She wants a doggie.
Guy: A doggie?
Girl #1: Yeah, a doggie.
Girl #2: She likes it doggie?
Girl #1: That’s the only reason she lives for.
–Fort Green, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rat
Chick #1: I didn’t call you fat.
Chick #2: Yes, you did! I remember it vividly! But it’s okay, ’cause I just forgot.
–34th & Broadway
Overheard by: may
Girl #1: I swear! This place exists!
Girl #2: If this place exists, then how come I can’t see it?
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Bones
