Why Is It “Obvious” That He Was Wearing Pants?

Girl #1: I got completely wasted last night. I woke up outside my friend’s bathroom with my pants off, credit cards all over the floor. But here’s the thing -my top was on.
Girl #2: WTF?… What did you do?
Girl #1: I’m not sure…I don’t really remember. The last thing I remember is rubbing my face in some guy’s crotch with people in the room. Oh, he had his pants on, obviously.
Girl #2: You’re such a slut.
Girl #1: I know right. Anyway, my friend woke me up, telling me that I was going to miss the fung wah.
Girl #2, puzzled: Where were you going?
Girl #1: Boston.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I’m really not sure.

–C Train

Overheard by: Noah Tizzle

Posted on April 8, 2008
Bimbettes, Celebrations/Parties, Clothing, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Nudity, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Sex, Travel, U.S. Geography

But Technically, Everything’s Free for Me.

Mom: So, when you send me a text message, is that free?
Twentysomething daughter: No.
Mom: Then stop texting me all the time!
Daughter: Oh, well it’s free for me. It’s just not free for you.

–D Train

Overheard by: NCS

Posted on April 8, 2008
Cell Phone, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Moms, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Questions

What? Isn’t It Inevitable?

Girl #1: I don’t understand why he was so upset. It’s not like I was being insensitive or anything.
Girl #2: Are you serious? You asked him if he had aids!
Girl #1: Yea, but only because he said he was gay!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Timmy Lee

Posted on April 7, 2008
AIDS, Default, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Idiots, Insults, Penn Station, Questions, Stupidity

I Mean, It Tasted Udderly Disgusting!

Asian girl: O-M-G, did you try the bull’s penis?! Was it big?!
Asian guy #1: Yeah, it was pretty nasty.
Asian girl, pointing to Asian guy #2: Oooh, he tried the cow’s tongue!
Asian guy #2: Uh, can we not talk about that?

–Famous Pizza, Kisseria Blvd, Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: Sajel

Headline by: KatieNB

Runners-Up:
· “Everybody Knows All the Best Asian Sex Clubs Are in Queens” – PeterG
· “Eww, He Ate the Tongue That Licked the Bull Penis That I Ate! That’s Like Hooking Up Indirectly.” – Whoscawatziz
· “Fear Factor Here = Food Network Over There” – Jimmy
· “One’s a Lifestyle Choice, the Other’s Just Sick” – Gerald Lanning
· “Penis, It’s What’s For Dinner!” – DR G LUV

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on April 7, 2008
Animals & Nature, Asians, Body Parts, Food, Friends, Girls, Guys, Headline Contest Winners, Penis, Queens, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes

Did the Boy Oversleep, Too?

Big black guy: I thought she was goin’ to get an abortion?
Tiny Rican girl: Yeah, but she overslept and missed her appointment.
Big black guy: How do you miss an abortion appointment?!
Tiny Rican girl: Well she’s only seventeen, she’s not really responsible yet.
Big black guy, yelling: Well then maybe she shouldn’t have been thinking about sex yet! For Christ’s sake she missed her abortion appointment! What a whore!

–H&M, Brooklyn

Overheard by: SaraSil

Posted on April 6, 2008
Abortion, Age/Aging, Black People, Brooklyn, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Insults, Puerto Ricans, Questions, Sex & Relationships, Store

When I Press a Button on the TV, It Talks to Me.

Hipster girl: So I keep thinking inanimate objects are things.
Friend: They are things.
Hipster girl: I mean like thinking things.

–NYU

Posted on April 6, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Hipsters, NYU, Philosophy, Weirdness

Also, Stop Calling Yourself ‘Some 14 Year-Old’

Teen girl: So I found a picture of him on facebook, half-naked, being straddled by some fourteen-year-old with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand. I swear, my brother has all of my precocity, but none of my charm.
Older guy: Oh yeah, and none of your humility either.

–96th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: kids these days…

Posted on April 6, 2008
Age/Aging, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Facebook, Girls, Guys, Nudity, Pictures, Sex & Relationships, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Because Then I Could Pull a Woody Allen

Little girl to her father: Stop telling me that! I’m not adopted!
Father: But sometimes I wish you were.

–Multiplex Cinemas, Flushing

Overheard by: Ms. Hazard

Posted on April 6, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Girls, Kids, Movie Theaters, Offers and requests, Parents, Queens, Should've Used a Condom, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Did You Even Read the Sign I Was Waving by the Side of the Road?

30-ish suit: I don’t think you really like me, just the *idea* of me. You know, I come off great at parties, and I make a lot of money, but really…
20-something hippie girl: Wait, wait…I just wanted easy sex.

–Union Square

Posted on April 6, 2008
Celebrations/Parties, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Hippies, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Sex, Street, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires

Keep Your Friends Close, and White Devils Closer

Black girl #1: So why did you decide to come to New York?
Black girl #2: Because I hate white people.

–NYU

Overheard by: Cracker Apparently In the Wrong City

Posted on April 6, 2008
Anger Management, Black People, Default, Girls, NYU, Questions, Race, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Girls