Drunk chick #1: I have the best blind date story ever.
Drunk chick #2: Oh yeah?
Drunk chick #1: My sister’s friend flew from Australia to LA for a blind date, and she ended up flying to Aruba with the guy and marrying him like a week later.
Drunk chick #2: Wow. That’s awesome!
Drunk chick #1: But I think she was just, like, 35 and desperate to get married.
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: djlindee
Girl #1: It’s so cool that we get to ride the train all day for free.
Girl #2: Yeah, I guess so.
Girl #1: We should just ride it all day to like, take advantage.
Girl #2: Ha, ha! Oh my god, that’s so Jewish.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: October45
Chick #1: You know why guys don’t like mushrooms?
Chick #2: Who said guys don’t like mushrooms?
Chick #1: Because they taste like cum!
–N train
Girl #1: Where did you hear that? What news have you been watching?
Girl #2: Canadian.
–Duane Reade, 57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Chick #1: So how did your trial go?
Chick #2: It went well, it went my way.
Chick #1: That’s great.
Chick #2: Yeah. The guy was actually nice; well, he was listed as a violent felon, but…
Chick #1: A nice violent felon?
Chick #2: Ha, ha…yeah. He tried to play the “my 88 year old dad and my wife and kids are here, I’m in rehab trying to clean up my life” card. But I put him on the stand for the whole day and caught him in all these lies.
–Broadway & 13th
Girl: …so I used to buy my drugs from a guy who would keep them in his prosthetic leg.
Guy: You mean his stump? Didn’t that freak you out, having his stump all on your blow?
Girl: No.
–23rd & 9th
Overheard by: jose angel araguz
Chick #1: So how was it?
Chick #2: It was bitchfabulous.
Chick #1: Awesome. So it was bitchtastic?
Chick #2: Nice! I like that one. Yeah, it was bitchtastic.
Chick #1: And the coffee?
Chick #2: Bitchalicious.
Chick #1: Hey, I just realized someone might hear us.
–41st & 6th
Guy: This remake of King Kong was a good movie; did you ever see the
original?
Girl: Yeah, I didn’t know it was a true story.
–42nd & 8th
Hobo: Miss, you dropped some change…Miss, aren’t you gonna pick that up?
Catholic School girl: They’re all facing tails!
Hobo: Shit!
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Mr.Man
Chick #1: And I was like, goddamn, it’s food…I can eat it, you know?
Chick #2: Seriously. Just because she’s anorexic doesn’t mean she can impose her thoughts about food on you!
Chick #3: Wait, wait, wait. Back up. You ate a cracker you found on the floor of the subway?
–Chinatown Ice Cream Factory, Bayard Street
