Blonde: So, where is she from?
Friend: Croatia.
Blonde: Where’s that?
Friend: It’s, like, by Italy.
Blonde: Ohhh, like Czechoslovakia.
Friend: No, Croatia. Near Bosnia and Serbia.
Blonde: Oh, so it’s like Russia.
Thug: Croatia, bitch! Former Yugoslavia! Remember, they had a civil war and broke up into five countries?
Blonde: [Stares blankly.]Thug: Jesus Christ, study a fuckin’ map. Even Tara Reid knows where it is.
–6 train
Foreign lady: So, a couple of years ago my country floated away from Venezuela.
Foreign man: Good for you!
–1 train
Suit: I was up in Toronto last week. It was nice, but it was really cold.
Guy: Yeah, it’s beautiful up there, but they get winter really early. It’s like that Shakespeare line, ‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’
Suit: [Befuddled silence.]
–LIRR into Penn Station
Overheard by: It was Dickens, DickWad
Black guy: And in this movie, Leonardo DiCaprio was the most selfless guy ever — all he cared about was money.
–Jackson Hole, 91st & Madison
20-something exasperated chick on cell: It’s a little something I call the hundred and fifty bucks I have to pay once a year! It’s a little something called my rent!
–W 10th & Waverly
Overheard by: I call it that too
Geek: Have you ever pictured someone swimming in a pool of money? Do you know how much that would hurt?
–54th & 10th
Overheard by: Allisa
Mom to little daughter picking up garbage: Don’t pick up stuff off the street… unless it’s money.
–14th & 2nd
Suit: … And they find him in Brussels with one million dollars in his suitcase.
–Chambers & West Side Hwy
Overheard by: Mike McG
Conductor: Attention, passengers, the power for this line has shorted out. Track workers are coming down to reset the breaker. We should be delayed for 15 to 20 minutes. A buck fifty — you get what you pay for.
–PATH train, stuck under the Hudson
VP: I certainly don’t want you to think it’s all about money, because it’s not — it’s mostly about money.
–Office, Park Ave South
Mom: … But it was hopeless. But I was stuck there, like a little Dutch boy with my finger in a dike for two hours.
Daughter: Huh? Like, a girl?
–Basement of the MoMA
Woman: Come here, sweetheart! You lousy fucking Puerto Rican scum!
–4th & MacDougal
Construction worker to another: Come here, I’ll buy you some food ’cause you’re my man. What, you want Puerto Rican food? They’ve got Puerto Rican food here.
–Burger King, 46th St, between 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Suit: Have you ever been to Croatia? They treated me like a god just for being Puerto Rican.
–M31 bus, between Madison & Lex
Dude: Nawww, don’t go to Puerto Rico. It’s just like New Jersey!
–Outside Caliente Cab Co.
Black man: So, where you from?
Hot chick: Portugal.
Black man: Shiiit! I’ve never heard that one before.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Maria
Guy on cell: I could get better numbers if I beat up an Asian kid!
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: ericaS
Crazy guy to mailman: Look, maybe you don’t understand what I’m asking. All that I’m saying is that I’ve noticed a lot of mailmen are Asian, and I was wondering if you knew why.
–33rd & 30th, Astoria
Overheard by: Jeffrey
Chick on cell: I found, living in Japan, that it’s very Asian.
–28th & Lex
Overheard by: Cheryl
Teen girl on phone: Yeah, I wouldn’t mind if he said that to an Asian… but only an Asian!
–86th St
Overheard by: Lotte
Japanese boy to Korean girl: Koreans generalize a lot.
–Broadway, near NYU
Overheard by: Daniel
Korean-American: In Korea, Koreans run everything. There, Jews are just nice people.
–Dean & DeLuca, University Place
Late-20s woman: Up until six months ago, I thought Europe was a country. I just didn’t know…
–6 train
Overheard by: 21 and knows better
Social butterfly: Williamsburg? Where is that? Pennsylvania?
–Broadway & Bond
Overheard by: the bfd
Dude: What? You’re not from Illinois, you’re from Chicago!
–Cheesecake Factory
Female tourist: Where’s Chicago, again? Oh, that’s here in New York, right?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Genissimo
Astonished woman: Los Angeles is not a state!
–Outside Javits Center
Overheard by: Tara
Asian tourist chick: Is this considered the West coast?
–Max Brenner, Union Square
Girl: This friend of mine, her cat killed an endangered bird… in Germany. They had to bury it, like, three feet underground.
–Queens-bound E train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Dude on cell: I saw Tim Burton on an interview the other day, and I said to my cat, ‘Snicket, behold a man who has never yet combed his hair!’
–AMDA entrance
Overheard by: McKinley’s Friend
Girl: And her cat and my cat are, like, really close…
–BX26 bus
Guy: I mean, I don’t even eat cat…
–14th St & 5th Ave
Guy to friend: No, cocaine. Cats really like cocaine!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Kerri
