Chick #1: I mean, I guess he thought I was being annoying and stuff — calling him, telling him to come to this fun party, asking him to come downstairs and stuff.
Chick #2: Well, did he ever come downstairs?
Chick #1: Nah, he was fucking some bitch upstairs. But I guess the party was fun… for him.
–E train
Overheard by: City Girl
Man #1: Why do you read that crap? Ads for hookers, transvestites! What did you pay for that?!
Woman, reading The Village Voice: It’s free.
Man #2: The hookers aren’t free.
–2 train
Overheard by: West Sider
Tourist: New York City is the only place in the country that does not have right on red. It doesn't make sense.
Impatient New Yorker chick: Because you'd never get off the sidewalk.
Tourist (in a condescending way): Lady, right on red is for cars. Not for people. (rolls eyes)
–42nd & Broadway
Chick: I should start going to gay bars. I’m tired of going to all these straight bars where guys feel free to rub their penis all over your ass.
–Zabar’s, Broadway & 80th St.
Overheard by: Basil
Woman: Honestly, I wonder what she ended up doing with a 3 foot, papier-mache penis.
–Broadway/Lafayette station
Overheard by: Jaya
Guy: I don’t want to live in a building that undulates!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Derek
Guy to girlfriend: Will you just hold my fucking hand?
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: waiting for my prince charming
Guy: You know, I used to think cheating on girls was wrong.
–Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Michelle
Young woman, looking at Lolita book jacket: Wow. This kind of reminds me of my relationship.
–Borders, 33rd & 7th
Overheard by: with a K
Man on cell: No, dear, I do not want to hear what you’re doing to yourself right now.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alexandra
Woman, to man she’s just kissed: What was your name again?
–2nd St & 1st Ave
Man on cell: My wife is driving me crazy! She keeps following my girlfriend around! Wait, hold on, I have to take this call. Hello…Yeah I just stepped out of the office for a few minutes… Thanks, honey, you’re the best.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Sara Swank
Girl on cell: He liked me too much, so I fuckin’ dumped him.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: buffalo
Metal chick: Why is it that everyone who goes away to college loves Dave Matthews Band or O.A.R.?
Friend: I don’t know, but they both suck.
Metal chick: That’s why I left school. I fucking hate Dave Matthews Band.
–Downtown 1 train
Girl#1: And he was all like, “Boo hoo, I wish you were here to take care of me. Come snuggle.”
Girl#2: Aww! That’s sweet.
Girl#1: Ew! No it’s not! [after rolling eyes and taking sip of coffee] that’s what his fucking wife is for…
Girl#2: I… Do you hear yourself?
Girl#1: Fuck you!
–NYU
Guy #1, wearing American Apparel sweater: Brr.
Guy #2: Man, I freaking hate American Apparel!
Guy #1: Yeah, this sweater's thin as hell!
Guy #2: No, I mean like they're all “American” Apparel” so they can sell to Americans, pretending to be made by Americans. Meanwhile, their clothes are being made in California!
–Elevator, St. George Hotel, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Crazy Person
Fat chick: So I’m at the movies yesterday and you know how I like to put my things on the seat next to me? And this blanquita wants to put her things in the same seat. So I’m like, whateva. So the movie ends and the blanquita is like, “Oh my God, my purse is still here!” You believe that shit? That bitch think that because I’m Latina, I’m just gonna steal her shit! So I got mad fuckin’ ghetto, I’m like, “Bitch, I’m not like that! And you should not be like, thinkin’ that like all Hispanics are like that!” Bitch got the nerve to say to me, “Well, I’ve been robbed before.” And I told that bitch, “Oh well, good for you; you lucky I’m in a good mood today ’cause I woulda robbed you and smiled at you while doin’ it!”
–L train
Overheard by: Reverend Ricky
Guy #1: I got some dirt on my shoulder. Can you brush it off for me?
Guy #2: I ain’t yo’ maid, bitch!
–Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: Jace
