Every Artist Has His Own Medium

Drunk black guy #1: That’s when I started cooking with weed. The Jamaicans told me you can cook with it.
Drunk black guy #2: Yeah?
Drunk black guy #1: I made chicken soup with that shit. I had soupy chicken weed. I was high as fuck.
Drunk black guy #2: Yeah?
Drunk black woman: You ever had weed fishcakes? Weed fishcakes. I make that shit.
Drunk black guy #2: Fishcakes?
Drunk black woman: And pork fried weed.
Drunk black guy #1: I want to come to your parties. You creative.

–4 Train

Overheard by: Unrelenting Monkey

Posted on July 28, 2008
Advice, Black People, Celebrations/Parties, Compliments, Default, Drunks, Food, Guys, On the Subway, Weed, Women

And Then We’d Have a Reason to Drink

Hipster dude: Hey, wanna know the best way to not get carded at restaurants?
Hipster chick: Offer blowjobs?
Hipster dude: Naw, we could kidnap a kid, train it to call us mommy and daddy, and bring it with us everywhere when we wanna drink.

–7th & Bleecker

Posted on July 27, 2008
Advice, BJs, Crime and Punishment, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Kids, Offers and requests, West Village

Can We Take a Picture with the Pissed-Off Guy, Honey?

(spectators gather behind a wall of paparazzi taking pictures)
Tourist woman: Who is that?
Guy #1: David Wright and Willie Randolph.
Tourist woman: Who are they?
Guy #1: Baseball players.
Tourist woman: Ooooh. Which team?
Guy #1: The Mets.
Tourist woman: Oh. Honey! It’s just the Mets, let’s go.
Guy #2 (with Mets hat): Hey! Fuck you!

–43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: am

Posted on July 27, 2008
About Celebrities, Default, Guys, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Only in New York, Questions, Sports, Tourism, Tourists, Women

Meet the Author of How to Make a Straight Guy Shut Up

Guy at bar: I’m sorry if I’m being an asshole.
Gay bartender: Oh, don’t worry -I deal with assholes all the time.

–Montien, 12th & 3rd

Posted on July 27, 2008
Apologies, Asshole, Bartenders, Customers, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Innuendo, Insults, Queer guys, Restaurants & Cafes, Union Square and East Village, Words

I’m the Hippie Equivalent of Karl Rove

Short shaggy-haired guy: Hahaha, I know, right? (pause) Wait, I don’t get it.
Tall shaggy-haired guy: I don’t get it either, man. I just say stuff.

–3rd Ave b/w 14th & 15th

Posted on July 27, 2008
Default, Guys, Hippies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Words

He Would’ve Said “Mate”

Guy: I like it when people copulate onstage.
Girl: “Copulate?!” What are you, David Attenborough?

–NYU

Posted on July 26, 2008
About Celebrities, Default, Girls, Guys, Languages, NYU, Sex, Theater & Dance, TV, Words

So She’s at Least As Much Of a Lady As Cruella De Vil

(cop pulls a drunk hipster chick in faux fur off the train for littering)
Drunk hipster girl: What? I can’t believe he just fucking did that! That wasn’t even her lollipop!
Drunk hipster guy: I know, man. I feel like such an asshole. Like I didn’t even do anything.
Drunk hipster girl: Like seriously, how can he just arrest her? She’s a lady! (yelling) she was wearing fur!

–L Train

Overheard by: Bewildered

Posted on July 26, 2008
Clothing, Crime and Punishment, Default, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, On the Subway, Questions

And Is Lucky the Leprechaun a Prima Donna in Real Life?

(Irish service elevator operator is showing new guy the ropes, delivery Thug walks in)
Operator, with Irish brogue: What’s up?
Thug: 11 C, man. (thug looks at the new guy)
Thug: You new man? Yo, I gotta ask you a question, do you drink beer?
New guy: Yup.
Thug: You drink Guinness?
New guy: Yeah, sometimes.
Thug: Alright, I gotta know, is the Guinness here different from the Guinness back home?
New guy: I am a Long Island Jew.
Thug: Shit, for real? I thought everybody who worked here was from Ireland.
(thug gets off the elevator to make delivery)
Operator: You should’ve asked him if it’s different buying food in a supermarket instead of having to chase and kill it with a spear.

–E 77th St

Posted on July 25, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Advice, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Default, Drinks, Global Geography, Guys, Insults, Irish, Judaism, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Questions, Thanks, Long Island! (Male JAPs), Thugs, Upper East Side

Where Fox Does Its Recruiting for Moment of Truth

(two guys coming out of the bar bathroom)
Guy #1: I’m taking another shot.
Guy #2: What have you got to lose? Pride? Fuck pride.
Guy #1: You’re right man.

–Bar, 35th & 3rd

Posted on July 25, 2008
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions

Is It Stubbleday Already?

Girl: Well, I didn’t shave my armpits this morning.
Guy: Oh.
Girl: Yeah, that was my idea of celebrating!

–12th St & Broadway

Posted on July 24, 2008
Celebrations/Parties, Default, Girls, Guys, Hair, The Village, Waxing

Guys

Is It Stubbleday Already?