Wednesday One-Liners: More Than Just a Hippie Musical

Thug to friends: Yo, it’s not like I’m gay! Just… the kid had some nice hair!

–Ave M, Q train stop

Overheard by: LoRna

Teen boy: Yo, near the pubic hair, son… That shit is phat!

–Southern Blvd, Bronx

Overheard by: E.J.

Seven-year-old blonde to friend: … And if you get it in your hair, you lose all your points!

–Washington Square West

Overheard by: SELENA

Asian 30-something on cell: Well, he doesn’t have any hair, so he better be good-looking.

–13th & 6th

Chick on cell: Masochistic hair to go with a masochistic gal. Aw!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: McFreaky

Subway performer, finishing barbershop-quartet style song: We’d like to wish you all a beautiful afternoon. If any of you happen to run into Condoleezza Rice, please tell her we’ve got a sista in Harlem waitin’ to do her hair.

–R train

Overheard by: Marisa

Posted on March 12, 2008
Asians, Body Parts, Boys, Columbia (& Barnard), Compliments, Default, Girls, Gripes, Hair, Kids, On Cell, On the Subway, Politics, Psychology, Sexuality, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, The Bronx, Thugs, Washington Square Park, West Village

I Agree. How Is That Relevant?

Guy #1: That fucking redhead bitch. I told you, man — those redheads are all the same.
Guy #2: Whoa, dude, I know you’re upset, but racism is not cool.

–57th & Park

Overheard by: rarrw

Posted on February 16, 2008
Default, Gripes, Guys, Hair, Idiots, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity

I Really Hope the Word “Home” Was at the End of That

Queer #1: You did such a good job of shaving my balls!
Queer #2: You’re going to have to do mine again — they’re all spiky again.
Queer #1: O-M-G — I’ll have to do it as soon as we get home so we have enough time to bang before your parents come!

–Central Park

Overheard by: brunette teen

Posted on February 16, 2008
Balls, Central Park, Hair, Queer guys

On Her Back

Girl #1: She’s really hairy, like no one else.
Girl #2: Yeah, I know what you mean — in a cute way.
Girl #1: She does the bows and barrettes all the time…

–M34 Crosstown bus

Posted on February 9, 2008
Girls, Hair, On the Bus

Wednesday One-Liners Join the AARP

Old guy with gray hair: I used to be an old guy with gray hair!

–Mott & Canal St

Overheard by: Will

80-year-old man: What is rough sex? Do I put her against the wall? I don’t know.

–10th & 3rd

Overheard by: Liz

Old lady struggling to get layers of scarves and coats off: I’m not used to having to put clothes on.

–New York Historical Society

Old lady on cell: Old people like sex! I’m 85, and I still like me some sex!

–Port Authority

Overheard by: imerikaf

75-year-old lady to hobo on bench: Oh, wow, you look so cozy!

–Central Park

Old man with cane to 20-ish girl who just nabbed the cab he hailed: Happy holidays, you dumb bitch!

–62nd & 2nd

Old white guy: Fo’ shizzle!

–Outside Nederlander Theatre

Posted on January 30, 2008
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Central Park, Clothing, Comebacks, Hair, Insults, Kink, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, Port Authority, Questions, Sex, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

Porn Stars, for Example

Little girl: Daddy, do people have white hair because they’re old?
Dad: Yes. And, in fact, some people like me have almost no hair at all.

–M86 bus, 86th & Lex

Overheard by: Jake

Posted on January 27, 2008
Dads, Hair, Kids, On the Bus

Did She Give You Milk and Cookies?

Bearded hipster: … And so I walked into this bar, and this chick just jumped on me and was like, ‘I love your beard!’ I was the only one with a beard, y’know?
Friend: Dude, you look like Santa Claus at, like, age seventeen.

–Brooklyn-bound F train

Overheard by: prefers clean-chaven men

Posted on January 20, 2008
Hair, Hipsters, Insults, On the Subway

Not on a Full Stomach

Law gal #1: This is more pointless than giving a butt-ugly girl a nice haircut.
Law gal #2: Hey, a nice haircut helps.
Law gal #1: Have you looked at me lately?

–NYU Law Courtyard

Posted on December 31, 2007
Beauty, Hair, NYU, Students

Have You Been Trying on Wigs Again?

Woman, while hugging man: What is this?
Man: Huh?
Woman, picking hair off his shirt: This is not my hair!

–42nd St station

Overheard by: Geneedwin

Posted on December 8, 2007
Couples, Hair, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Hair